I.
If you enter a bathroom at midnight with the lights off
and call out "Bloody Mary" three times
there will be a woman, dressed in white,
covered in blood.
Her eyes will betray her lethargy
and if you stick around long enough
she will ask for a drink
and if you stick around even longer,
she will confide in you
that she is tired
of working graveyard shifts
II.
Be careful when you babysit;
especially for the little girls.
In the latest of nights,
you might get phone calls
haunted with sing song voices
telling you to check on the brother upstairs
But if you sit down with her
and ask her to stop the prank calls
she will burst out
with sobbing jealousy
that her brother gets more attention than her.
III.
Don't wander the woods after dark
There is an old crone
whose withered body has the face of a young maiden
they say she feasts on the youth
who lose their way in the forest
with promises of food and warmth
or, you know,
she just got botox, and wants to feel sexy again
because her husband passed away
and she suffers from debilitatingly low self esteem.
Either way.
IV.
Legends tell of a beauty so alluring
you don't even realize you're drowning
in debt, that is
child payments and alimony
but it doesn't stop there;
their voice, entrances
bleaching your brain
with their gold digging
they play you like a fiddle,
those two-timing, sperm jacking sirens
those manipulative, shrieking feminists
those superficial whores incapable of empathy
yet another iteration
of terrifying women
bloodthirsty, irrational, inhuman
irreedemable in their carnal sin
and completely, utterly fictionalized.
