Dolly

My inner thoughts and deepest feelings

[doteddolly]

two teachers look down on each other for being a different type of creep.. interesting

[1darc-d]

older men text me

[doteddolly]

[doteddolly]

[doteddolly]

“He traces road maps of blue veins on my skin, talks about how hungry I make him, that he’d eat me if he could. I wordlessly offer him my arm. Go ahead. He gives it only a soft-mouthed bite, but I would probably let him tear me apart. I’d let him do anything.”

[doteddolly]

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up should I meet up with my teacher to celebrate?? I can always sneak out or sneak him in to my room.. Or should I just make excuses not to go? and if we do meet up what should we even do?

Help me out guysss

[doteddolly]

I wonder if the kids at school can see what’s between me and him. I can’t help but question if the stares I get from his students mean something, or if they’re just coincidence. I wonder if they can see it in his face, the way he smiles at me, or the way he jumps out of his seat to pull-up a chair. They asked him who I was once, and he just shrugged them off, telling them to “get back to work.” Do they ever think about that?

[doteddolly]

I still remember the first time we met, when called me into his classroom and introduced himself to me. I remember his shaky hands as he typed his number into my phone, his anxious glances looking around for other students, him telling me to “Come by whenever” I miss him.

[doteddolly]

I miss my teacher, I just want to feel his warm hug, and to touch his hands, and hold his face close to mine. I want the world to fade away, I just want it to be me and him. I just want his love.

[doteddolly]

Despite all these boys, and despite all my men, I still feel so alone.

[doteddolly]

who am I without your love? I only exist when you see me.

[doteddolly]

Sometimes I feel like without him I’m not alive, as if he created me, put the air In my lungs and gave me life.

[doteddolly]

I have this disgusting desire to be heard

[doteddolly]

I wonder what about me makes certain teachers feel the need to prove their “innocence” to me. Like in my presence they panic, falling over themselves to make me believe they aren’t attracted to students. They try very hard, randomly telling me things like “I don’t like high school girls”, or “Not that my girlfriends in hs, that would be weird”. They throw accusations at me, saying “I know you were thinking it”, when I didn’t say anything that would imply that. Sometimes I don’t even say anything at all.

[doteddolly]

Confession: Everytime I hear people at school talking about my teacher, I get a little embarrassed. I wonder what they’d think of me if they found out what’s between us.. I hate all their guessing about wether or not he’s a “perv” or a “p3d0”. Sometimes I wish I could just confirm it, and tell them what me and him are. I wish all those girls who liked him would know he’s mine. Should I be ashamed of that?

[doteddolly]

Ever since I was a little girl I always felt like there was something inherently sinful inside me

[doteddolly]

Always feeling as though I’m contemplating the way I am