GUEST BLOG – Carolyn, mom to four boys including SickKids kid Luke, who passed away at 22 months of age from a congenital heart defect.
Family is love, hope, happiness and joy. For me, family consists of my husband Troy, our four children and Hunter, our lovable Labrador retriever.
I am a mom of four boys. Zakary, who is 11, Max, who is 10, Luke, who would have turned eight on February 7, and Jackson, who is four. You see, Luke died when he was 22 months of age from a congenital heart defect.
I have made it a point when people ask me how many children I have to always include Luke. I have four boys. Three may only be physically with me but I feel Luke with me every day. I hear his laugh in Jackson, I see his eyes in Zak and feel his love in Max’s hugs.
Luke was a strong, courageous little fighter. He lost the battle but we are winning the war. We may have lost a piece of our family on December 28, 2007, but we keep his memory alive every day and every year by hosting a fundraiser in his honour. In 2009 we hosted our first Sweethearts for SickKids – Luke’s Legacy cookie decorating fundraiser and to date we have raised over $100,000 for the Cardiac Critical Care Unit of SickKids, where Luke spent a lot of his time.
I’m not going to lie to you, losing Luke was the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through in my entire life and I have had my own share of tragedy. Losing a child not only causes a physical ache but an emotional ache that never goes away. I’ve learned to deal with the pain, focus on the positives in my life and try to be the best person I can be. For me, being their mom is my greatest joy and highest achievement.
I started Luke’s Legacy as a way to remember Luke and to honour his strength and courage. But it is also much more than that. It’s a way of thanking SickKids for taking such good care of him, giving us hope when it was hopeless, sharing our joy when we could bring him home and grieving his loss when he died. The doctors, nurses and therapists at SickKids were wonderful to Luke and to us. By raising money for the CCCU we hope that other children with congenital heart defects will be able to live long, healthy, happy lives.
This year we celebrated our 6th Annual Event. We had an overwhelming turnout. It was a bittersweet day, watching the joy on the children’s faces as they bit into their yummy cookie, covered in icing, sprinkles and candy. It was such fun but also remembering the reason they all came out in the first place, to honour our son Luke, warmed my heart.
I have had many a family comment to me on how strong I am. I politely thank them but I don’t consider myself strong, I consider myself a mom who had to make a choice on December 28, 2007. I chose to honour my grief, honour my son who fought so hard to live and honour the three children I so thankfully still have. So I choose to wake up each day, remember Luke, cry when I need to and be happy and grateful for all I have.
Jackson once asked me “Mommy do you miss Lukie?” I replied “yes, every day.” Jackson then looked at me, smiled, then gave me a hug. I got a hug from Luke that day and Jackson has an angel on his shoulder.
This family day weekend, hug your children, spend quality time together. Be grateful for what you have, I know I am.
Carolyn Holmes
Proud Mom of 4 boys!
www.lukeslegacy.ca