This one is more crack than anything but it's been living in my head rent free for some days now and I needed to write about it.
"What's that?" You ask curiously, eyeing the vial in Dottore's gloved hand. It looks harmless enough but with him that usually means whatever is in there could potentially melt your entire arm off. Or worse.
The Doctor grins, dangling the vial between his fingers. He looks quite proud of whatever concoction he mixed up this time. A new scientific breakthrough, perhaps? Your curiosity grows more and more the longer he keeps you waiting for an answer.
"This, my dear, is my new hair care formula."
All you can do it stare, too confused to respond. Did he say hair care? He spent the past days tinkering on some formula for SHAMPOO? You didn't know whether you should laugh or cry. That was so ridiculous and unexpected, there had to be a catch. Did it dissolve the user's scalp? Make their hair fall out? Could it be used for brainwashing?
"Weren't you complaining about your hair getting greasy too easily? Well, worry no more! With this formula, your hair will stay soft and shiny for a whole week. Marvellous, isn't it?"
So apparently the 2nd Fatui Harbinger really had spent days and nights on creating a new shampoo just because you once off-handedly complained about greasy hair. That was so bizarre it was almost cute. Almost. After all, you didn't know what the hell he put in there.
"Shampoo," you repeated, still completely baffled. "You made me a shampoo." Dottore grins and nods, handing you the vial. You frown at it, slowly trailing your gaze upwards until you're looking right at his face.
"It's harmless." Yeah. Those words didn't sound very reassuring coming from Dottore of all people. It's not that you don't trust him... you just didn't want to risk losing your hair overnight. That would take forever to grow back.
"Oh fine," he huffs and although you can't see his eyes, you know he was rolling them at you behind his mask. "I'll try it first."
When you entered the lab the next morning, it was oddly silent. Some assistants rushed about, doing this or that. Some of them were covering their mouths. Curious, you stepped further into the lab and looked around for the familiar head of blue hair.
"Dottore..?" You approached him slowly, cautiously. Upon hearing your voice, the Doctor turned around. Even with the mask covering half of his face you could tell he was in a very sour mood.
Now... you knew better than to outright laugh at him but the sight before was too funny. You turned to the side, covering your mouth to stifle your giggles.
Usually that tone would frighten you into silence but really... how could you take him seriously when his usually blue hair was a very fluorescent pink?
"Soft and shiny..." you managed to mumble these words between fits of giggles, giving him a sympathetic look when he snapped his pen in half. "It kinda suits you?"
Dottore inhales and turns around, presumably to find a subject to release his anger and frustration out on. You felt sorry for whoever his victim would be but it was really hard to stop laughing. You were lucky he cared about you enough to not punish you for laughing at him.
You'll make it up to him later.
