this blog does not exist

[dougzersmut]

im literally just going to reblog smut ideas for doug x parkzer here. dont follow, if you want to for some reason, my actual blog is @rpf-rosebud

edit: okay so its not only going to be smut.

[dougzersmut]

doug: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something. parkzer: doug, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

[dougzersmut]

parkzer: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. doug: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* parkzer: That one. I want that one.

[dougzersmut]

doug, to parkzer: We had a date! doug: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

[dougzersmut]

doug: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. parkzer: Okay. doug: And make out during the scary parts. parkzer: Th- parkzer: The scary parts. parkzer: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

[dougzersmut]

doug: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! parkzer: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus. doug: Stop.

[dougzersmut]

doug: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? parkzer: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? doug: Yes. parkzer: I'd sleep.

[dougzersmut]

doug: We should be partners. parkzer: You mean like, partners in crime? doug: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

[dougzersmut]

parkzer: Is something burning? doug, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. parkzer: doug, the toaster is literally on fire.

[dougzersmut]

doug: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine. parkzer: Marry me.

[dougzersmut]

doug: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. parkzer: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? doug: Seize the dick.

[dougzersmut]

parkzer: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... doug: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? parkzer: Holy moly-

[dougzersmut]

parkzer: doug and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- doug: Sentences. parkzer: Don't interrupt me.

[dougzersmut]

parkzer: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... doug: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? parkzer: Holy moly-

[dougzersmut]

bringing this blog back with incorrect quotes

doug: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. parkzer: Aren't you forgetting something? doug: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses parkzer's forehead before running out.* parkzer: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[ytredacted]

desperate to kneed doug doug’s tits like bread dough. for uhhhh uhmmmmm enrichment purposes.

.

[ytredacted]

parkzer and doug are both switches but doug couldn't dom parkzer. doug can fluster him, sure, but parkzer's gonna end up on top

also brat tamer parkzer... it's just a natural extension of their preexisting dynamic

.