reid.

i know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind.

[brainsandbooks]

❝ Because I’m weird! I slouch, my hair’s too long, my tie’s perpetual crooked. ❞  ⇢ doctor spencer reid ⇢ selective roleplay blog ⇢ written by ashley 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

I HAVE MOVED BLOGS. PLEASE FIND ME AT: brainsandbooks 

[galacticxextras]

Send 👕 to catch my muse shirtless.

[memetaped]

nonverbal starters prompts featuring nonverbal scenarios.

guide take them by the hand, arm, or shoulder to guide them.

shelter protect them.

shove push them.

loop drape an arm around their shoulders.

touch a gentle touch like rubbing their back, hugging them, holding their hand. 

kiss a kiss on the cheek, knuckles, forehead, in their hair.

palm smack them upside the head.

bed rest gently push them back down when they try getting out of bed.

aid help them with a task.

note pass a note to them.

cry wipe away their tears.

wash wipe something off their forehead, cheek, so on.

bandage patch them up when they get hurt.

heal take care of them when they get sick.

book silently read a story with them. 

carry pick them up. 

scrap punch them.

cherry find blood on them.

sit help them sit down.  

medical wake up in the hospital and find them holding their hand.

steer place a hand under their chin to make them look up. 

beat dance with them.

stare stare them down. 

off track get lost with them.

no shaking their head in disagreement. 

yes nodding their head in agreement.

rush tackle them to the ground.

open hold the door open for them.

[dr-dilaudid-a]

Me: I need to focus on my homewo-

Reid: did you know how I felt about *insert random thing to stir up a headcanon*

Me: *grumpily stares*

Reid: *smiles like an innocent human*

Me: well this assignment means nothing to me now

[dr-dilaudid-a]

fbiartist‌:

“Nah, I feel you, Spencer, I was hoping I could get one of my cold cases done today, but it can wait. They’ve been waiting for like fifteen years anyway.” She shot him another smile, opening up her ipad to get a look at the files that Garcia had already sent her. Her brows raised a little at the sheer number of bodies they found in what looked like a mass grave on commercial property. Her mouth pursed. They were very well dressed skeletal remains. She walked with him while reading and looking over the pictures into the round table room, sitting down without a word of greeting and just continuing to read. Garcia was already handing Spencer his paper files. 

he doesn’t say anything, just gives an all knowing nod before returning the smile. he falls in step with her, looking over her shoulder at the device in her hand, reading over the information that was showing on the screen. it wasn’t long before he’d finished and ziva was still reading, so he turns his attention to garcia as they enter the room, taking the files and quickly opening them. he pulls out his chair before sitting down, listening to what the blonde was speaking of. “do you have the records of who owned the property over the past decade?” he quips, waiting for a response from the woman. 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

reid headcanon coming in:

they have pointed out that reid drinks his coffee with a decent amount of sugar, as well as multiple scenes where he has a sucker in his mouth, which made me think that - reid definitely has a strong sweet tooth, and probably consumes ungodly amounts of sugar despite well knowing that it’s the common thread between cavities and toothaches. i can see him having a secret stash of goodies in one of his drawers, and a bag of his favorites in his briefcase, as well as having an assortment of sugar coated cereals in his cabinets at home. 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

fbiartist‌:

“And you don’t think you’ve earned it yet? Hm. Guess we’ll just have to wait then.” And she just laughed at the rest of what he had to say, nodding a little. One of her cheeks dimpling. Then her phone started to buzz and she glanced at the top of it, seeing who it was from and felt her smile start to fade. “I think…we’ve got a case…” She was pretty sure she heard his too. 

“i’m on my way there, but i don’t necessarily believe my list of qualifications is completed yet.” finally seeing a grin forming in her features his own expressions reflect hers, pulling the pinging device from his pocket, a sigh leaving his lips. “leave it to prentiss to ruin a daydream.” he retorts, smiling at her as he gathers his things and stands up. “not that i mind working, it just generally means there’s someone in a much more unfortunate position than us.” 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

fbiartist‌:

“Fine, fine, you can be Dr. Know-it-all. I mean, I could you make you Sir Doctor Know-it-all, me being royalty and all, but have it your way.” She tutted, doing very well to not grin at him. Then she let out an all too dramatic sigh with a nod, “It really is. People should know better by now. I mean, by the time we’re done telling them, they do know better, but they always look so annoyed afterwards.” 

“Sir Doctor Know-It-All is a honor that must be fought for not just given your highness.” He retorts before keeping a serious face despite her words. “It’s as if they didn’t ask for the information, and really they did the second they decided to spew falsities, if I do say so.”

[dr-dilaudid-a]

badassbctch‌:

                         SPREAD  WASN’T  THE  RIGHT  WORD     …     he  had  made  a  full  blown  feast!   her  brow  raised  as  he  told  her  the  full  menu,  looking  at  him  with  an  obviously  impressed  gaze.  “  maybe  you  missed  your  calling  as  a  chef  spencer.  this  is  quite  impressive,  must  of  taken  you  a  long  time.  ”  at  the  mention  of  the  book  he  found,  she  really  couldn’t  help  but  smile.  “  my  mom  bought  that  for  me.  she  never  had  much  time  to  teach  me  how  to  cook  before  she  got  sick,  so  she  got  me  cook  books.  she  would  be  VERY  HAPPY  to  know  that  someone  is  using  it.  ”  and  horrified  that  her  daughter  orders  take  out  for  the  most  part.  she  would  give  willa  a  firm  talking  too.

                         she  missed  those  lectures.

                         “  no  occasion?  ”  she  said,  taking  the  glass  from  him  with  a slight  tilt  of  her head.  all  this  food,  all  this  work…  and  it  was  just  for  a  NORMAL  night  in?  “  pasta  is  more  of  a  paperwork  pick  me  up  food.  a  four  course  meal  with  champagne  feels  more  like  a  let’s  celebrate  meal.  ”

                         GLASSES  CLINK  TOGETHER     ...     and  she  brings  it  to  her  lips  to  sip.  as  she  does  though,  he  lets  slip  the  real  reason  for  all  this.  a  sound  of  surprise  is  made  through  tight  lips,  getting  the  drink  down  before  laying  a  hand  on  his  shoulder.  “  a  book?  you’re  own  book?  ”   if  willa  was  one  thing,  supportive  was  a  good  word  to  describe  her.  an  accomplishment  of  another  was  always  worth  getting  EXCITED  over,  and  she  was  always  thrilled  by  other’s  doing  amazing  things  then  her  own  things.  but,  she  had  always  been  that  way.   “  vaunderlikh!  ”     amazing   ;   in  yiddish.   “  that  is  so  wonderful,  i’m  so  proud  of  you!  ”

he’d had an inkling that the book had been her mothers, as there had been tips and tricks written in the pages, and the handwriting certainly wasn’t willa’s, and it definitely wasn’t english. while he did know bits and pieces of the language before he’d met willa, she’d been teaching him phrases all through their relationship, and it was an enjoyable memory any time he tried to speak it, as both of them would end up in a fit of laughter. 

“well i’m glad i found it. there are some recipes in here i would really enjoy making. especially around the holidays, it would be fun to try them out.” he smiles at her before grabbing a plate. “it’s not all as good as it looks, the shrimp is a little overdone, and i think the noodles are firmer than they should be, but the taste is there, and i think that’s what matters.” 

he laughs at her reaction to the news, shaking his head. getting in touch with the publisher wasn’t difficult, as he’d reached out to rossi’s agent to see what they could do for him in terms of getting his word bound. he’d been hiding it from her for quite some time, and how he managed to keep it a secret was incredible, but he had managed to do it. “thank you. i just got the final manuscript yesterday, and they started printing it today.” spencer grins, beginning to serve the food in front of them to her. “what’s it about? oh, i’m so glad you asked.” he jokes, as they both knew she’d not said a word. “it’s kind of self-help book. but it’s not about just one subject. it’s how to navigate hardships and tragedies in your life, and how amazing the great moments are because of it. coming from an agent who’s been through it all i figured sharing my insights would be rather useful.” he explains, handing off a plate to her and making himself his own. “we could read through some of my favorite stories after dinner, and i don’t hope you have any other plans because you have no choice, you must read it.” he snickers, only to pick up his fork and begin to eat, despite the fact they both stood at the counter still. he’d been cooking for hours and finally got to taste the fruit of his labors. 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

badassbctch‌:

                         YEAH  HE  WAS  ACTING  WEIRD     …     she  sat  at  her  desk,  lightly  chewing  on  the  cap  of  her  pen  as  he  spoke.  things  with  his  mom,  that’s  what  he  said,  and  usually  she  would  of  taken  that  as  a  fact  and  moved  on.  after  all,  things  did  tend  to  happen  and  she  knew  how  important  she  was  to  him.  (  if  hers  was  still  around,  she  would  be  that  same  way.  )   but,  willa  knew  when  someone  was  lying.  she  didn’t  know  what  was  going  on  with  him  or  what  he  was  lying  about,  but  he  was  for  sure  telling  her  a  fib.  for  a  moment,  she  had  to  admit,  it  caused  her  some  worry.  spencer  would  never  be  the  type  to  do  anything  to  hurt  her  or  CHEAT…  but  she  was  still  a  human  being  and  sometimes  jumped  to  stupid  conclusions.

                         she  didn’t  try  to  go  after  him  though.  because  even  though  her  mind  jumped  to  a  stupid  conclusion,  she  pushed  it  away  almost  immediately.  whatever  he  was  LYING  about,  he  must  have  a  good  reason  for  it.

                         THE  HOURS  SEEMED  TO  DRAG  ON  THOUGH     …     paper  work  days  always  threatened  to  drive  her  up  a  wall.  a  woman  of  action  like  her  did  not  really  enjoy  sitting  around,  time  seemed  to  go  backwards  on  days  like  that.  so  when  she  was  finally  released  from  paperwork  hell,  she  was  out  the  door  within  SECONDS.  the  air  felt  fresh  and  had  a  bit  of  crispness  to  it,  which  to  her  meant  that  fall  was  slowly  making  itself  known.

                         the  smell  was  the  first  thing  she  noticed  when  she  walked  in  the  door.  it  had  been  a  very  long  time  since  she  came  home  to  a  HOME  COOKED  MEAL.   willa  herself  was  good  at  many  things,  but  cooking  was  not  one  of  them.  for  the  most  part,  she  was  more  of  a  take  out  kind  of  lady.   “  it  smells  good  in  here.  ”  she  said,  a  smile  on  her  face.  “  this  is  quite  the  fancy  spread  you have  going  on  here,  i  see  why  you  had  to  lie  and  escape  work  early  today.  ”  she  slips  her  shoes  off,  setting  her  bag  on  a  nearby  chair,  before  walking  up  to  him  and  giving  him  a  KISS  on  the  cheek.  “  is  their  a  special  occasion  i  am  missing?  ”  

spencer smiles as she responds to his comments. “i had a feeling you knew something was fishy, so i had to make up for it. after all, why have a kitchen and never use it?” he quips, looking to her as she looks at the covered meals in front of both of them. he carefully pops the cork from the glass, moving to find the champagne flutes somewhere in the midst of their kitchen. 

once he finds them he begins to pour out a glass for her, and looking at the food he’d spent some time making work. “for appetizers we have the options of caprese salad, or a quick Israeli salad, compliments of a recipe book i found in the cupboard.” he chuckles, moving to the main course on the stove. “for your entree this evening we have pad thai that i made from scratch, and let me say i wish i would’ve spent the extra three dollars on peeled and deveined shrimp. but, it was done with love, not a machine.” he points out before moving to the fridge. “lastly, to round out the night we have a creme brulee with a Bailey’s topped sugar combination crust. I don’t know much about dessert, but I do know that it’s not charred, which is a plus.” 

“occasion? no, i just wanted to give you a nice pick me up. i know that paperwork days can... drain you to no end, so i figured that we should take the night off while we can. it’s not often we’re able to have a night to ourselves like this.” he shrugs, picking up his flute while handing her one. he clinks their glasses together, moving the glass to his lips and speaking before he takes a large sip. “and i may or may not be publishing a book.” the words are nearly mumbled, and he smirks as he sips. getting her side tracked from his true intentions was the intention, as there was a reason for it all, but not what she was expecting. 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

fbiartist‌:

“No, no you can’t. Cause you’re Mr. Know-it-all, and I’m her Royal Majesty Know-it-all. And people can’t just expect either of us to stay quiet when someone is being so loud and wrong in front of us. It’s an afront to society.” She’s trying very hard not to grin at him and failing. 

“hold on, wait, why are you considered royalty, and i’m a commoner? i do have a PhD in my Know-It-All qualifiers here. It should at least be Dr. Know-It-All.” he corrects her before nodding. “it’s quite common sense, really. a crime among common men.” 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

spencer could probably fuel an entire small town with how much energy he was exerting into shaking. he was incredibly nervous, doing his best to not to chop off a finger while preparing the food at hand. he was not going to screw this up. not today. 

she doesn’t need a side of bloodied limes with her meal reid. get your head about you, my god. he scolds himself shaking his head. he knew that she had to know something was up when he went home early. he had told her he needed to deal with some stuff with his mom, which would’ve been a viable reason - if spencer wasn’t such a shit liar.

 he’d been running around town, doing the absolute most for this night. if it didn’t go well penelope and jj would have his head on display in the bullpen. he turns to pull the desert course out of the oven, sighing and setting the hot tray on the oven. not burnt, or overdone, unlike the shrimp, which was causing quite a few concerns. 

it’s upon further inspection of the shared living space that spencer realizes the kitchen is a menace of terrible spills, cutting boards and dirty dishes stacked up to the top of the sink. he might need to take a couple minutes to clean up before she got home. 

in all, it took spencer twenty minutes to clean up (most of it had found its way to the dishwasher for a later return to the cabinetry) but, the dinner was finally ready, and the movie was queued on the tv. he hears the door open, and he smiles, grabbing the champagne from the fridge, and starting to pull the metal cage from the bottle. “welcome home, i hope you’re hungry.” he comments, making as little noise as possible. 

@badassbctch

[fbiartist]

“What? Oh, c’mon, you had to expect me to correct them on that. When have you known me to be a quiet person? Like, about that stuff.” 

open rp, mutuals only.

[dr-dilaudid-a]

spencer can’t help but let out a brief chuckle at her reaction. “i didn’t say anything. i mean after all i’m not completely in the place to judge you, now am i?” 

[dr-dilaudid-a]

badassbctch‌:

                   THEY  COULDN’T  TIP  TOE  AROUND  IT     …     she  was  going  to  be  in  pain.  she  was  going  to  cry,  she  was  going  to  suffer,  she  was  going  to  remember  the  good  and  the  bad.  then,  she  was  going  to  pick  herself  up.  she  was  going  to  clean  the  house,  sometimes  she  was  going  to  find  something  that  would  make  her  cry  again…  but  then  she  would  keep  moving  still.  eventually  the  house  would  be  empty,  and  that  would  hurt  too  but  it  would  be  ready  for  someone  to  enjoy.  it  would  be  ready  to  be  the  forever  home  it  was  always  meant  to  be.

                      she  would  feel  like  she  was  dying,  then  she  would  finally  be  free.

                         with  her  face  buried  in  the  blanket  she  cried.  she  cried  and  cried.  more  than she  had  cried  in  some  time.  her  throat  hurt,  her  fist as  well  from  holding  onto  the  blanket  so  tight,  and  her  heart felt like  it  was  breaking  all  over  again.   “  good  memories…  should  not  hurt  this  much.  ”  but  they  did.  because  the  good  memories  ended  so  suddenly,  without  warning.  they  did  not  end  the  way  they  should.  after  all,  a  mother  should  never  out  live  her  child.

                         THE  HOUSE  FELT  LIKE  A  COFFIN     …     like  it  was  full  of  death.  it  was  suffocating  her,  making  it  hard  to  breath.  if  it  was  not  for  the  dust,  the  house  would  look  like  nothing  had  changed.  like  it  was  just  a  house,  one  that  a  family  lived  in.  “  everything…  it  is  the  same.  like  at  any  moment  i  will  hear  her  cry,  and  it  was  all  a  bad  dream.  ”  that  she  would  walk  into  the  living  room  and  trip  over  martin’s  shoes,  hearing  him  laugh from  the  kitchen.  “  it’s  like  this  house…  has  been  waiting  for  me.  ”  

                       “  i  lied…  ”  she  suddenly  said  into  the  blanket.  “  i  said  i  had  not  been  back  since  that  night  but…  that  is  a  lie…  i  came  back  once,  a  few  days  later.  ”

                                            “  i  had  come  back  here  to  die.  ”

his heart ached at the sound of her sobs. he doesn’t hesitate to wait any longer, pulling her to him as tightly as he can. he didn’t know what else to do for her. there was no words that could ease the hurt, nothing that could erase the despair, and no way to bring them back. all he could do was help her ease through it all. 

he starts to give the softest rock to her, trying to console her in any way he can. he snuggles his face into her neck, trying his best to just make sure she didn’t feel alone right now. he needed her to know she wasn’t alone, especially not now. “good memories will hurt when they can only be memories from now on.” he tries to rationalize it, a habit, but maybe helpful for once. 

he stays quiet, just letting her speak. whatever was going through her mind needed to be said, as it would just stay trapped and become an bout of bad feelings that didn’t deserve a place in her life. hell, none of this was something she deserved, but there was no time machine that spencer could climb into to save them for her. how he wished he could. 

spencer nearly tenses up at her words. he can’t imagine how that thought wouldn’t have crossed her mind at least once or twice, but for it to come so close to fruition... it scared him. he couldn’t lie, that losing her scared him. even if he’d never known her, he knew he would miss her. 

“you came to the bau to live..” he whispers, unsure where it came from. “to live for your family, and those families who have lost their loved ones as well. and to help anyone else to have to go through this living hell.”

[perrybearwaks]

[dr-dilaudid-a]

badassbctch‌:

                         IT  LOOKED  ABANDONED     …    because  that  is  what  she  did.  she  abandoned  her  old  life  because  it  hurt  to  much.  but  she  had  the  chance  to  make  it  right,  to  do  the  right  thing.  she  could  clean  the  house  up,  heal  properly,  and  sell  this  to  a  family  who  would  make  it  a  home.  it  would  make  someone  happy.  that  would  be  good,  it  would  be  good  for  her  to  know  that  someone  would  be  happy  in  this  place.  they  had  been,  for  a  little  while.  someone  else,  she  hoped,  would  be  forever.  “  yeah,  help  is  okay.  ”  she  knew  that  she  would  never  be  able  to  get  spencer  to  leave  anyway.  he  would  be  to  worried.

                         “  we  will  have  to  make  sure  all  the  photos  are  down  then.  ”  she  knew  the  walls  were  covered  in  them.  her  family,  his  family,  and  they  family  they  were  trying  to  start.  walking  through  her  old  home,  she  was  going  to  see  a  lot  of  ghosts  staring  back  at  her  in  the  pictures.  but,  those  were  things  she  needed  to  see.  things  she  needed  to  feel.

                         “  before  i  start  i  just…  ”  a  pause,  “  i  need  to  talk  a  walk  through.  i  will  not  be  able  to  do  this  if  i  don’t  see  every  thing  and  let  myself  feel  it  all.  ”  willa  had  to  get  it  out  of  the  way.  “  that  part,  i  need  to  do  alone.  ”   a  deep  breath  is  taken,  arms  finally  lowering  to  her  sides,  as  she  took  a  step  towards  the  stairs  leading  to  the  front  door  and  walking  inside.  the  hallway  into  the  home  still  was  covered  in  those  photos  she  remembered  so  well.  her  family  life,  his  family  life…  them  when  they  first  started  dating,  daisy  when  she  was  first  born.  a  hand  reached  out  to  brush  dust  off  the  photo  of  her  in  the  hospital  bed  holding  daisy  after  she  was  just  born,  martin  right  beside  her.  her  hand  lowered,  arms  crossing  once  again  she  walked  through  the  house.

                         THE  KITCHEN     …    where  meals  were  shared.  the  dinning  room,  where  martin’s  parents  would  come  over  and  eat  dinner  with  them  and  their  grand  child.  the  living  room,  where  martin  tried  to  make  willa  watch  all  the  movies  she  had  never  seen  before.  so  many  memories,  so  happy.  yet,  they  hurt  her  heart  now.  she  went  up  the  stairs,  down  the  hallways.  her  shoes  clicked  against  the  hardwood  floor,  they had  never  found  a  rug  for  this  hallway.  the  bathroom  to  her  left,  guest  bedroom  to her  right.  then…  their  bedroom.  she  walked  in,  and  everything  was  frozen  in  time.  the  tv,  the  curtains  closed,  the  closet  door  open.  martin’s  shoes  still  in  the  middle  of  the  floor,  even  though  she  had  told  him  time  and  time  again  to  put  them  away  so  she  wouldn’t  trip.  one  side  of  the bed  still  made,  her  side,  the  over  thrown  open  as  if  someone  had  risen  from  bed  suddenly.

                        her  hand  went  over  her  mouth,  other  arm  holding  herself  tightly.  she  tired  to  keep  it  all  in,  turning  to  leave  but  she  was  only  greeted  with a  sight  that  hurt  even  more.  a  closed  door,  with  a  daisy  painted  on  it.  she  stood  still  for  a  moment,  as  if  she  were  unable  to  move.  (  or  had  forgotten  how.  )  finally  a  step,  a  hand  reaching  out  slowly  until  it  touched  the  sanded  wood  of  the  door.  then,  she  pushed  it  open.

                          SO  MUCH  PINK     …     more  than  she  remembered.  the  walls  a  light  pink,  the  crib  pink,  the  flowers  of  the  walls  pink.  so  bright,  so  cheerful…  just  as  her  baby  girl  had  been.  the  moblie  above  her  crib  still  hung,  little  butterflies  that  always  flew  above  her  head.  she  reached  out,  spinning  it  as  a  song  started  to  chime  in  a  music  box  fashion.  “  hush  little  baby…  don’t  say  a  word…  ”   she  sang  along  with  it,  barely  above  a  whisper.  “  mama’s  gonna  buy  you  a  mocking  bird…  ”  her  hand  reaches  into  the  crib,  grabbing  a  fuzzy  pink  blanket  that  she  always  wrapped  her  daughter  in.  “  and  if  that  mockingbird  don’t  sing…  mama’s  gonna  buy  you  a  diamond  ring…  ”  her  voice  cracked,   bringing  the  blanket  to  her  face.  “  and –  if  that  diamond  ring  don’t  shine…  ”  the  words  barely  audible,  as  her  voice  kept  cracking.  “  mama’s  gonna…  ”  but  no  more  words  came  out,  only  sobs.  she  fell  to  her  knees,  the  room  sucking  her  in  just  as  she  knew  it  would.  the  pain  demanded  to be  felt,  and  she  knew  it  had  to be  done.  but  still,  that  didn’t  make  it  any  better.  she  still  felt  like  she  was  dying.

                          because  daisy  never  wanted  a  mockingbird,  or  a  diamond  ring…  she  just  wanted  her  mama  to  protect  her.  and  willa  had  failed  at  that.  and  that  was  something  she  would  have  to  learn  to  carry  with  her  forever. 

spencer knew that she probably wasn’t listening to him, no matter how much he was trying to keep her emotions stable. he knew that there was no point when she states she needs to go in alone. so he lets her do just that, following her in to continue packing the living room of the many children’s movies and dvds stacked in the shelving underneath the television. 

he can hear her shoes shuffle across the floor as she slowly makes her way through the house she’d abandoned. he can’t imagine what’s running through her mind as she steps into each room. memories must be swirling around her with each step into the vicinity. 

he takes a step back to watch her disappear up the steps, carefully listening for any hesitations, any tears. to make sure he could be there in a second. he picks up a photo frame from one of the side tables in the room, seeing Willa holding her daughter tightly on a swing in a local park. it must be hard to lose a child, as he can only imagine. he had luckily never been there, but losing someone you love was hard enough when they weren’t your offspring. 

spencer jumps to his feet when he hears a rumble from upstairs, knowing that it was more than just her feet making that sort of noise. he’s practically tripping over his shoes as he travels up the steps. he slowly opens the door that had drifted shut when she entered the room. he gingerly sits next to her, hand on her back. he doesn’t say a word, letting her cry. she needed this healing, and there wasn’t anything he could say to help her right now.