How to ruin your relationship

You want to fuck up? Well look no further! Let's destroy happiness together!

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

As time goes by, make sure you ignore your partner more and more. They should be treated with the same indifference as a foot stool.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Be jealous, even if the "other one" is a car.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Keep tabs! Of who’s done what, who bought what and so on. Remember - love is about taking! Try your hardest to not get fucked over and take take take!

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

The time to show appreciation for your partner is never!

[dr-m-verger]

Conflict mismanagement 101:

Instead of just sayin "I'm sorry", act defensively. You are incapable of mistakes!

[dr-m-verger]

Bad sex 101:

Make sex the very last tedious item on the To-do list. It’s just another chore anyways. You don’t want your partner feeling they are a priority!

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

If your partner is acting in self-deprecating way let them! They are doing your job for you.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit communication 101:

Talk only with hints and insinuations and watch them struggle to decipher whatever the fuck you are trying to say. Be offended when they fail to read your mind.

[dr-m-verger]

Bad sex 101:

Never speak with your partner about what you like and don’t like in bed. They should be reading your mind anyways.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit communication 101:

Never speak your mind! If you have an issue with something, don’t let your partner know! Just let if build up ‘till you eventually explode in a supernova of righteous fury.

[dr-m-verger]

Bad sex 101:

Don’t have sex! Or kiss, or hug or anything! To allow any form of intimacy is to fail at failing your relationship.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Never try to understand your partner. They don’t matter anyway. 

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Don’t learn anything about your partner. Otherwise they might think you guys are close or something.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Control control control! Every single detail of your partner’s life should be under your control. The way they dress, the way they eat, how they sleep, what they love to do... everything! Make sure they know you OWN them!

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Make sure your partner knows they can be replaced in a matter of hours without any emotional turmoil on your part. After all, you don’t want them thinking they matter.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit communication 101:

Never discuss anything with your partner. Keep them in the dark of what is going on in your life and withing you.

[dr-m-verger]

Shit attitude 101:

Never miss an opportunity to disrespect your partner!