The sense of being watched prickles against Anevia's skin, and that's how she knows Arueshalae is nearby.
Anevia waits a few minutes, giving time for her visitor to announce her presence on her own. When that doesn't happen, Anevia gives a small shake of her head and lifts her eyes from the maps she's studying. A casual observer would think she’s alone at the office desk, but Anevia knows better than that. She clears her throat expectantly and speaks to the empty air.
"Something on your mind?"
And there's Arueshalae, stepping sheepishly from the shadows in the corner of the room. "Hello, Anevia."
"Hello, yourself. You've been watching me for a while, haven’t you?"
Her question makes Arueshalae duck her head, embarrassed. Anevia can't say she really minds this habit of creeping around; she understands the impulse, and what can she say? She’s got a growing fondness for this strange succubus.
The sentiment appears to be mutual, judging by how often Arueshalae comes to her with questions. She's just shy about it sometimes, like now, when she has to take a deep breath to work herself up to the moment. "Yes. I've been thinking about you. And Irabeth."
Anevia raises an eyebrow and leans back in her chair. "Well, I gotta hear this. What about us?"
Maybe it's the lack of pushback, but Arueshalae relaxes a bit as she approaches her question. Her words are cautious and self-conscious, but the more she speaks the more her earnest curiosity makes itself known.
"Ever since Piper invited me into the Crusade, I've been working to figure out so many new things. I can dream now, did I tell you? Talking to you about Desna and Irabeth about your dreams…it helped me understand some things for myself. I'm making new friendships, too. With you, and Seelah, and- and with Piper.” She averts her eyes as she says the Commander’s name, and Anevia can’t help herself.
“You two have been getting pretty close, huh?”
Anyone with eyes could see the truth of that, but Arueshalae shakes her head, flustered.
“No! No, I wouldn’t. But…I did need to ask you…because I've been watching mortals more often now. I’ve been able to see how they live, how they love. It's so different from how anything works in the Abyss!"
She glances back up at Anevia and her eyes are shining now, burning red and full of awe. "Mortals can take their love without hurting each other! I know I’m still a demon, and it’s too dangerous for me to even think of…but I want to understand. When I see you and Irabeth together, it seems that you love each other so easily. How…how does it work?”
Huh. At least the question is flattering, even if Anevia doesn't know how to respond at first. It’s always seemed an obvious thing: she and Irabeth love each other. End of story.
But how do you explain all that to a succubus whose only notion of love has ever been poison and pain? Anevia blows air out through her cheeks as she mulls it all over. "That's a big idea you’re chasing after. Honestly, it’s something even a lot of mortals don’t figure out.”
"But you did," Arueshalae insists, and there's a certain desperation in her voice now. Maybe that’s why Anevia relents- because she’s just as fond of Piper as she is of Arueshalae, and from what she’s seen, those two are good for each other.
You’re going soft in the heart, she thinks to herself, but she sighs and gives the topic a more serious consideration.
"Okay, well- the falling part, that's simple. Sometimes you meet someone, and you just have that fire. It’s a good start! That’s how me and Irabeth fell in love- a spark caught, right away. But staying in love…that’s a little harder to explain. The fire helps, but you’ve gotta have more than that. You need something solid to stand on. Like building a house- you need good bones, good foundation.”
Arueshalae frowns. “Bones…in a house? We have those in the Abyss, but I don’t see how-”
Anevia shakes her head. She should’ve known better than to try and use metaphors for this. “Okay, forget the bones. I’m talking about things like trusting each other. Supporting each other. Balancing each other out. You talked about demons taking love, and maybe that’s the big difference. Me and Beth…sure, we take a lot of each other at times. But we give just as good. That’s what we’re built on.”
The explanation is a little messy, and maybe not too complete. But it feels right, and Arueshalae is listening with a serious attention that Anevia can't help but smile at. "And just so you know, it’s not always easy. Sometimes..."
Sometimes I’m too cynical for her paladin ideals, and she’s too good to not put her duties above everything else, and we’re both scared to death of losing each other in ways we just don’t talk about.
"…Sometimes things are tough. But it’s worth it. Always."
None of this gives much actual instruction to Arueshalae, and they both know it. Still, Arueshalae smiles, sad and wistful. "It sounds so beautiful. You two are lucky."
"I don’t know about Beth, but I sure am. When I was young, I never thought I'd have someone like her, yet here we are." For a moment, Anevia is lost in that sentimentality. It really is a miracle that she ended up here, isn’t it? With that thought in her head, she gives Arueshalae an encouraging smile. "That’s gotta means there's hope for anyone, right?"
Later that day, Anevia finds Irabeth at the war table, bent over the schematics of troop movements. Anevia strides over and wraps her arms around Irabeth's shoulders, and she presses a kiss to her wife's cheek.
Irabeth doesn't protest, but she does give Anevia a speculative look. "What was that for?"
"Nothing in particular," Anevia tells her, even as she moves in to kiss her again.
