A Totally Accurate Log of Drag Queen Quotes

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Asks and submissions are now open! If anyone wants to send me suggestions on future incorrect quotes

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Briar: I’m having a hard time regulating my mean thoughts so please stop being lame idiots. I want to be a nice person but you guys make it so hard. Perhaps be considerate before acting like complete fools?

Athena: Work on your emotional control, maybe.

Briar: Get hit by a car, maybe.

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Myki: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I am around mine, I act all stupid.

Nini: You always act stupid

Nini:

Nini: Wait

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Myki: How’s Darlene?

Jane: Well, last week she was supposed to buy gas, but instead, she bought novelty cookie cutters. Now, everything we eat is shaped like a goddamn burger.

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Briar: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you are a coward

Athena: I’m worried about you taking Juicy to the zoo tomorrow

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Mia: We’ve been duped!

Athena: Duped!

Juicy: Bamboozled!

Briar: We’ve been smeckledorfed!

Athena: That’s not even a word and I agree with you!

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Juicy: Guys, Briar is missing!

Athena: Good.

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Juicy: English is CRAZY. Oregano is both a spaghetti leaf topping and a form of paper art!

Jane: What is this paper art you speak of?

Juicy: You know, folding paper to make cranes and stuff

Jane: …Juicy.

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Briar: Good morning! I have already made 1 (one) bad decision and I show no signs of stopping <3

S18 group chat: [Several people are typing]

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Nini: I wasn’t that drunk last night

Jane: You were flirting with Myki all night

Nini: So? She’s my girlfriend

Myki: You asked if I was single

Myki: When I told you no, you started crying

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Myki: I’d like to wake up with you everyday for the rest of out lives

Nini: I wake up at 5am everyday for work

Myki: I’d like to see you at some point for the rest of our lives

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Athena: You’re late

Briar: My bad, I was kidnapped

Athena: What masochist kidnapped you?

Briar: The police.

Athena:…You were fucking arrested?

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*skipping stones at a lake*

Myki: This is nice, isn’t it?

Nini: Take that you fucking lake