ren was a ballad of unsung secrets. a decade had past with naught but one sliver of truth passing their lips, not even for most trusted confidant. valkyrie knew this version of them better than anyone, but that was the problem ; she knew the shell of a person. that which had grown it’s own consciousness, experienced different things, but hadn’t been who lotus was before their entire world was torn asunder. the child before the fall of kuroyuri was a mere phantasm, one who’d ceased to be except in the recesses of a long since stormy mind. who ren recalled had not been innocent and pure, but whose last aching memories prior to months and months of endless void had been the last time ren had ever felt like them. a whole being. unbroken. children of the lie household never needed to repair broken toys, blessed with all the wealth that came with their lineage, they were replaced instantly, new and better. what young lotus failed to realise was the same rule applied to heirs ; the broken were discarded, and ren had lived with that for the entirety of their life. at least … until yang started changing that.
there was no other way to regard tales of childish spitfire except with clear endearment. chime - laughter flits between bronzed tiers on wisp of breathy laughter. crossed legs raise so ren might lift arms, rest their head along them. all the while they gazed at her with thinly veiled adoration. warmth bloomed in amaranthine hue, clear as day until the amusement had crept into the splintering, magnolia and plum blossoms hidden in the rare reaches of their dimples, the rise of sculpted cheekbones. when was the last time they were this happy ? ‘ it’s nice … to know you’ve always been this much of a renegade. ’ it would be a lie to say that wasn’t something that drew them towards her in the first place. an opposing trait to one so attracted to duality, that was rather fitting, wasn’t it ? but then again, yang had admitted to coaxing that chaos out of ren too. ‘ he sounds like he got what he deserved. ’
as easily as sun coaxed them into full bloom, rain sprung forth to dampen florid radiance, light leaving their expression akin to loneliness of new moon, sky void of lunar splendour. the breath of storms eased into the creux of them, until their bones weigh down, filled with acid rain. ah, that was why dragon guarded the vault to memories so ardently, so that even they would avoid falling into despair. it was tiring though, so tiring, living with the paranoia that the monster would drag them back into their melancholy. ren wasn’t alone anymore, they were stronger because of it, but that didn’t mean they didn’t succumb under the pressure from time to time. they regard yang quickly, flush donning cheeks and matching eyes of roseate flitting away, hand rising to nervously card ebon strands from their face. ‘ n - no, not exactly. ’ ren’s hands wrung nervously, the lingering sensations of unwanted advances still clinging to their palms. ‘ the line, i mean … ’ lips press into a thinning line as dragon ruminated on how best to describe an equivalent, unable to meet she - nova’s eyes. ‘ earlier, i mentioned my family was wealthy. they were also rather … traditional. by the time i was six, i already had a betrothed. ’
ren placed fingers and palms together, cupping them over nose and mouth in contemplative gesture. words came out at a slow even pace, curated to the best of their scrambled mind’s abilities, and even then still jagged in some places, splayed and uneven like broken glass. ‘ i come from a lineage of warriors. if you don’t have what it takes to become a fighter from a very young age, they marry you into a different family. ’ the cold hard truth had taken ren too long to understand. the toxicity of it had been affecting them, ruining them from the inside out for far longer than they could remember. it had skewed their views of love, to an almost irreparable degree. yang saw that now, didn’t she ? how the very thought of it made them cautious with both longing and fear ? ‘ yin was … very mean to me. she used to tease me a lot, pull my hair, make me cry. she’s older, you see … she didn’t like being stuck with … with me for a fiancé, the heir with the least claim to the inheritance. ’ it was an easy hole to fall down. sigh quiet, forlorn. ‘ from a very young age we were taught that you’re only worthy of love when you’re performing at your best, and my best was never good enough. ’
‘ she didn’t like being tethered to me — ’ a humourless laugh. ‘ … i can’t blame her. or anyone really. ’
sense of honour radiates deep within the marrow of yang ‘ s bones , audits taking in all the information &. otherwise tightly guarded secrets ren has to offer like her very life depends on it ; it sort of does in a way , doesn ‘ t it ? dragoness would never truly be able to fathom the sheer amount of trust ren is putting into her , or how they have been ever since their beacon days ; to have them - slowly , but surely - be unpacking these little tidbits of burden unto her shoulders is something yang never dreamed she ‘ d be chosen to bare , yet here she is anyway. grateful , intrigued to be learning more about the one she has sworn so much to. they ‘ ve really been through it , haven ‘ t they ? the more sunny dragon listens to lotus speak with such melancholy , the more she begins to realize just why ren ‘ s so closed off with the topic of affection to begin with. no wonder both dragons had a spat of intense emotion , no wonder they both crumbled at their confessional like a duo of sinners unable to handle punishment for the crimes in which their hearts commit ; ren ‘ s never known a love or affection like this , let alone at all. when ones perspective of something , anything , is warped &. made ugly , blocking oneself off from it all together seems like the most reasonable solution , no ? they can ‘ t be hurt by something that isn ‘ t there , for ren at least.
perhaps yang sympathizes in a way. maybe she , too , knows all too well about keeping others at bay , even if she displays it in an entirely different manner. promising the night of someones’ life with a pretty smile &. bat of sunlit lash , acting on faux emotions just for the sake of a thrill & then leaving come sunrise without a single ounce of ‘ more ‘ lingering in mind. it ‘ s easy to leave without regrets , though it ‘ s harder to stay with them. maybe . . . that ‘ s why she pursued ren to begin with. yang still can ‘ t find the proper way to explain why , or how ren is so different from everyone else ( they see beyond just her ethereal looks for starters. ) , but she can safely say the rest of her days would have been plagued by regret if she were to let them go. that ‘ s no way to live. ren ‘ s a thrill , but in the best way possible ; another adventure that leaves her enticed &. excited , another turn on bumblebee that brings yang ‘ s mind to cloud nine. she ‘ ll never get tired of exploring with them.
she takes a sip of water , mumbling a ‘ mhm ‘ sort of noise , brows knitting together &. twin orchid gaze narrowing in tow. heart of gold can be felt sinking beyond the confines of ribcage the more ren speaks , smooth timbre dipping , falling victim to a form of verbal bitterness that lingers just long enough to effect yang as well. ❝ that . . . doesn ‘ t seem very fair for a kid. how did they expect you to grow up stable if they made all your choices for you ? life ‘ s all about trial ‘an error , y ‘ know ? if y ‘ have everything set out all ‘ perfect ‘ for you from the get go , then what ‘ s the point ? ❞ is it rude of her to be casting judgement like this ? on ren ‘ s old way of life ? maybe it ‘ d be best to bite her tongue for now , lest she runs the risk of upsetting them more than they already are. this doesn ‘ t sound like an easy topic. ❝ i -- sorta have family like that on my dad ‘ s side. super traditional , sticks up their asses. always got shitty with dad about how he raised me to be an individual , not some cheap cookie cut out like all the rest. makes for real awkward family gatherings. ❞ dragoness speaks with a lilt of a chuckle on timbre , as if to brighten the mood just a bit. but ah , how long that simply doesn ‘ t last.
fingers constrict some around plastic the moment ren begins to speak of their ex , &. oh , how a fire is instantly ignited in belly. not out of jealousy , no ; yang doesn ‘ t run on spite &. sheer pettiness like that , it ‘ s how they describe her. vile. cruel. she sounds like the type of person yang would have fought with as a child , breathed her first plume of dragon flame at out of rage. her discomfort becomes crystalline , as does the swarming sensation of protectiveness ‘ round luminous forme , even more so when ren begins to speak down on themself. why can ‘ t they see how their worth shines brighter than any precious gem ? others just . . . can ‘ t determine that for you , right ? she ‘ s readying to speak once more herself , but pauses dead in her tracks when ren does instead. ‘ or anyone really ‘ , they say &. her vocals become strangled. personified yin once taught yang to control her temper , though those lessons seem to slip from mind as she completely crushes her water bottle in one go , creating small cracks that spill water out on pants , but she seems to care not. not over something so meaningless. teeth grit , plume of smog drifting from nostrils. ❝ . . . dunno. sounds like they ‘ d be pretty lucky t ‘ me. ❞ i ‘ m pretty lucky , you fool.
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