Daddy Dom

I’m in my 40’s. Asks are open Other methods of communication are available upon request.

[pregulator]

dad who uses you for sex whether you like it or not but makes up for it with all kinds of non-sexual pampering and aftercare… back massages, shoulder rubs, washing your hair, reading to you, cuddling with you…

[benjaminlisa]

[lrdlother7]

My good little pet. Owned. Guided.

[mississippigurl-blog1]

[rainyfablecipher-deactivated202]

[togetherspeedycock]

beauty is meant to be admired ...

[drbarbay]

It's my 9 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[horniroyal-deactivated20250803]

Hey friendly reminder: Don’t Ruin your life for kink

Don’t harm yourself for kink

Don’t isolate yourself for kink

Don’t put yourself into debt for kink

Don’t put yourself in danger for kink

Alot of people talk a big game about these things, but please practice safe kink practices. Negotiate saftey, boundaries, establish consent. Practice aftercare and check in and make sure people you trust know where you are. Whether you’re dominant, submissive, or switch you deserve safe fun consensual kinks.

It can become dangerous for you and/or your partner(s) really quickly if you don’t make the small effort to make it safe. Getting off is not worth it.

Don’t ruin your life for kink.

[masterxdanx]

[babygirlbondage]

ive seen a lot of people talk about after care on here but only mention it to the extent of some cuddles and a bath and i just want to remind everyone that aftercare shouldnt be limited to that.

if you have a harder session, tend to your subs bruises, scratches, and marks. put ice on bruises and welts to help with inflammation and pain.

if you do bondage, take care of rope burn and help them do some stretches. their body is going to be stiff from being restricted in one position for a long time. also a heating pad can help with sore muscles.

if they have any cuts or are bleeding, dress their wounds properly. make sure to put on antibiotic ointment on before a bandage if needed.

if they have burns for whatever reason, run them under cold water and maybe use ointment on those to help them heal.

make sure they pee after sex to help prevent a UTI. their legs may be shaky so help them get to the bathroom if needed.

give them advil or some other pain med to help with any aching or discomfort.

make sure they drink water. they need it and i cant stress how important this is. also give them some food even if its just a little snack.

give them verbal assurance and praise. tell them they did good and that youre proud of them.

still run a bath, get them cleaned up, give them kisses, cuddle them, etc but dont forget about the rest of aftercare, its so important. take care of your subs and always remember consent, communication, and safety are key.

also give your doms aftercare and affection too, theyre people with emotions and need it

aftercare is just as, if not more, important than the actual scene and should never be skipped, rushed, or disregarded

[princesstokyomoon]

this is some big brained shit

[eldritchxbabe]

I think people who are newer to the kink community or experimenting need to understand that subs hold power and are their doms' equals. Kink is not about being uncomfortable whether emotionally or physically in any way that leaves you feeling bad, used without reciprocity, or abused in the literal sense of the word. The consent in cnc is never optional and it can be revoked at any time. It doesn't matter whether the scene has already started or the dom isn't done yet; consent must be given freely and continuously. Any "dom" who doesn't take on the responsibility of making their sub feel safe saying no to them, or who would ignore a real safeword is not to be trusted. That's a predator, not a dom, and they don't belong here. True doms aren't there to push their sub past their agreed upon limits--every part of kink has to be negotiated with open and honest communication. This is always true no matter how extreme your play is.

[gwywnnydd]

Expanding on this, a Dom who has pushed their sub to safeword HAS FAILED. Your job was to remain So Fucking Aware of where your sub's head was at that you knew without doubt they were still within their limits (maybe right on the edge, but still within them). If you lost track of where they were, if you pushed them past their limits and caused them to need to safeword, You Fucking Failed. You made a mess, and it is all on you to clean it up. You provide your sub with the aftercare they need (and if they don't know what they need right now, you keep trying things that have helped in the past until they are able to tell you what they need).

[commander-diomika]

What? That's a wild take. Expecting the dom to magically know your limits without ever safewording isn't realistic. Taking someone (carefully, respectfully) to their limit and they say "that's my limit" is how we learn and calibrate play. A safeword used isn't a failure, it's part of good communication.

[tess-is-elated]

Expanding on what @commander-diomika said (which is all correct), that framing above makes it harder for someone subbing to use a safeword. If a safeword means "you fucked up severely" and not something like "I thought I wanted to be hit, I asked to be hit, but then you hit me and my brain said No" it becomes a lot harder to say the word.

Because if someone is subbing and thinking "I want this to stop or slow down, but I don't want the dom to think they did something wrong" that is the point that they should be calling the scene off (or just asking for it to slow down)

And! That take completely ignores that doms get to safeword and call off scenes too!

I learned a lot from someone who genuinely and warmly says "Thank you" whenever someone tells them that something was too hard, or orange, or red, or not the right kind of pain.

Safewords are something to be used freely, not something to be used only when the absolute worst has happened

[behold-my-squees]

I’m not really* in the scene but I wonder if the “no safewords ever” take comes from having just one safety signal, which lends itself to a more binary view of consent than the traffic light scale or other ranked signals. But I’ve absolutely seen binary stuff work**. The success of any safeword arrangement seems to depend most of all on everyone’s ability to communicate what was wrong after the word is given, even if they can’t articulate exactly why just yet. That’s in parallel with everyday safety, especially from a disability perspective.

The “safewording is a failure” take also strikes me the sort of model-minority response that comes from giving a lot of fucks about the opinions of a majority culture that has no intention of legal or lasting acceptance. On the small scale, such distinctions can make all the difference in staving off rejection from a vital support. But they factually cannot be applied to the whole community. I’m still working on how many fucks I give in various arenas, probably will be for life.

Anyway, it’s cool to see people talking about it!

* 1st footnote: I do aerial circus for fun, in a great community that absolutely includes some BDSM kinksters. They mostly keep it separate, but the similarities are blatant and the bruises do tend to end up in the same places, lol. Circus obviously has more emphasis on physical safety, but that involves a culture of respecting and tailoring to individual limits, and expecting those limits to be in flux, and getting consent to manually adjust someone’s position. And it’s absolutely informed by having a lot of queer folks, and a decent number of people with disabilities, and the fact that extremely skilled people will help teach raw beginners (which requires a lot of checking assumptions). Also one guy is Spiderman

** 2nd footnote: A lot of circus safety depends on strongly signaling “Down!” as soon as possible to get help controlling one’s descent. You can tell how hard a landing it’s gonna be by how coherent someone is, but it’s absolutely a hard stop. Pros use subtle communication when they’re practicing or giving their performance pieces, but usually do loud hard stops the rest of the time, because ambiguity is a risk.

(I think about this a lot when I watch professional performances of various kinds. Communication is cool; partnered circus/dance/skating/juggling/whatever is cool. Someone whose partner stumbles slightly, silently checking in while still being held in the air with one hand? The rituals are intricate. Someone who stumbles, checks in with their partner, and then checks with the audience to see if they’re up to watching them risk it a second time? Be still my demisexual heart)

[onelittlekingdom]

There is no submission without real trust

Real submission doesn't exist without real trust. That's why you can't truly submit to someone you've just met. Relationships that start that way do their best to imitate a power dynamic that the relationship has never experienced, but impatient kinksters will never understand the true power within their relationship until that foundation of trust gets laid.

[mentalquotes]

[coursair]

Why thank you . I’ll pass it on

[ihavedaddyissuestoo]

@dominanttomkatt you also. High fives

[trappedinbarbiesbody]

[cgl-advice]

Aftercare & why it’s not only important but ESSENTIAL

What is aftercare:       Aftercare is a form of providing comfort for your significant other, usually one who takes on the role of a submissive. It causes them to feel safe, and secure. It is a way to reduce the chance of Subdrop. Aftercare is common in the BDSM scene due to the intensity of the scenes or actions that take place. BUT it is also extremely important in the CGL community as well. 

    Using Aftercare after a punishment has been done is really important. It shows that while you had to punish them, you still love them! You still care about them and their needs and how they are feeling.

    It is also important to know that aftercare is needed by dominants as well, this is not something that is for subs only. Be aware of how your partner is doing before and after a scene or relationship experience. It’s important to be aware of these things to avoid a potential relationship damaging experience. 

     If you ignore subdrop or the needs of your partner, it is possible for them to lose interest. They will become distant. They lose their trust in you. They will begin to find less enjoyment in entering a scene or aspects of the relationship dynamic with you. 

Examples of Aftercare: 

Snuggling

Drawing them a bubble bath

Cuddles and a movie

Gentle caressing 

Just holding your partner

Giving them a bath

A massage

Using soothing lotions on bruises/marks

A short nap with your partner

Petting/soothing with words. (i.e. good girl/good boy/ you did so well)

Giving a treat (warm milk/tea/some goldfish, etc)

Brushing their hair

Watching a movie of your partner’s choice

Reading a book to them

Kissing their marks/bruises/wounds

Letting them know they’re safe

Wrapping them in their favorite blanket with their favorite stuffed animal

Ensuring their comfort item is within reach

Treating any potential injuries/wounds

Having a deep conversation/heart to heart

Reading them a story

Preparing a meal for you and them, ensuring they eat and hydrate

Answering questions they ask -remaining calm during it.

Ask how they are feeling and checking often

Validate them

Be emotionally available and understanding

For more information about aftercare check out these following links:

>>click here<< >>click here<< >>click here<<

[mass-cotte-deactivated20240211]

❤🖤

[bondagewomens]

[dlb1415]

Oh baby girl, I saw the unnatural things you’re going with your stuffies, wrapping them with string, tying handkerchiefs over their mouths and touching them in places they shouldn’t be touched.  I’m afraid you need to be taught a lesson and punished.  I’ll start by pulling your panties down and giving you a thorough spanking, then leaving you bound and gagged on your bed for the rest of the afternoon.  What’s that?  Why am I treating you the same as you do your stuffies?  You want to be touched the same way that you do your toys?  Well, I don’t think little girls should act that way at all.  You’re headed for some significant punishment, little one.

[alphasub-switch]

Think you have a dynamic because you tied her up?

Rough sex does not make you dominant.

Any individual can have rough sex. It does not mean you are creating a D/s dynamic.

Being dominant means creating a safe place for your partner to express their true selves to you through the trust you engender. A submissive yearns to serve a partner whom they are secure with emotionally and mentally. The physical, be it rough sex, or whips and knives, are an extension of the connection that is created within two peoples hearts who trust each other in their D/s dynamic.

There is no more dominance in rough or kinky sex than it takes to put on a pair of leather pants. Neither action makes you dominant.

Dominance is about honor, integrity, perseverance, trustworthiness, stability, strength…very little about {physical} capabilities. {Physical} capability can be learned. The other attributes must be present for a submissive to trust their submission to you to make you capable. {a submissive’s trust in you is what means you are Dominant.}

Credit: Master Leek

*I edited it a little bit for my idea of clarity. See brackets.

[subtlebunny-deactivated20240905]

here’s your daily reminder that the absolute most important thing about cnc (consensual non consent) is ✨ consent! ✨