Working My Way To The Top

SMB 2.14.13 // 19 // Equestrian // Eventer in the making // 

[dreamingof--rolex-blog]

Thank you so much!

[aubernutter-deactivated20170607]

It feels like my insides are being put through a paper shredder

[nantuck3t]

[t-ide-deactivated20120825]

[katesmess-deactivated20140831]

[sjhphotography]

Tangled Up in Blue and Ava Ellis

Pony Jumpers

Devon 2015

[ring-side]

Blenheim June Classic II.

[thatlongstride]

Wow I still love this

[cante-r]

Itchy & bitchy

[weareescapingvelocity]

I just want to thank you… For being my reason to look forward to the next day. Bittersweet day as I left my entire life in someone else’s hands and had to walk away. I can’t believe it actually happened and my heart aches because of it. This horse gave me reason to get up every morning, and for once in my life believe that I might actually be good at something. He’s taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. While my entire body wants to hold on to him, I know that it wouldn’t be fair to him. Wow I am going to miss that face every day.

[dressagekitten]

I love you and I cannot wait to see you in two days!

[dressagekitten]

So this creature was finally good in the arena for the very first time since we’ve moved to Cali and I couldn’t have been happier! He had his butt handed to him on the ground on Tuesday which seems to have solved all of our problems because we had only a single spook today and there rest of it was “yes ma'am”. So happy!

[awwww-cute]

Does anyone know what kind of bird this is?!? (Source: http://ift.tt/1fNwaLD)

[sandra-dalman]

We are becoming a team! ❤️her #kepitalia #superiorhelmets #butet #showjumping #protectedbykep

[mr-yesbody]

Please let all animals live! 3> Not just dogs and cats. 

[indeed-a-winner-blog]

All I need Winter ‘15

[shaniece-blog]

Last year in November was when I fell into my restrictive behaviours. It branched from trauma. It took me 4 months to lose over 18kg and it ruined my body. I was small to begin with and I’m only realizing it now. I remember taking this photo after the third day of refeeding in hospital and I felt worthless. I remember never telling anyone or confiding to even family for help, I isolated myself. I worked 5 days a week. My nickname at work was bones. I remember when it began to get bad last year, I went to a hospital and asked for help to deal with the thoughts, I wasn’t dealt with as gratingly as I wasn’t at a critical weight at the time. As I lost more weight my heart began to hurt, my hair fell out so unbelievably, I lived in the tropics and I was still always freezing. I couldn’t string together sentences as I was always short of breath, I would pass out to go to sleep. I struggled to sleep. I didn’t know how to get out of the mind-set though. It got to the point where every time I tried to eat my body felt as though it was deteriorating. I went to another hospital after moving states and they said they had a 3 month waiting list. I went to three different hospitals on several occasions. Another hospital said they didn’t have the funding to treat anorexia nervosa. I was referred to Westmead hospital but they wouldn’t take me as I wasn’t in their catchment area. I gave up and ended up losing the weight even more rapidly. I thought I was going to die. Those four months resulted in me having early stages of osteoporosis. I have many long-term affects. I am still fixing my body. I feel as though having an eating disorder is like going through a traumatic event. Once it’s over, you move on, but the pain from the event lurks around for life. It was disgusting. glamorizing being unhealthily thin as a beautiful thing is disgusting. If you’re naturally thin as that’s your set-point and you nourish your body, that’s awesome, but if it’s due to a disorder, please reach out and do NOT glamorize this disgusting disorder. There is NOTHING beautiful about this sickness. It is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I remember being stopped in a gym and being told to leave this year as they didn’t want to be responsible if anything were to happen to me. I was out of home and my family weren’t around (still aren’t) I was unable to sit down because it hurt as I only had bone, no cushioning. Every hard day in recovery was much greater than any day living with the disorder. I’d love to start a fund-raiser to raise awareness about this disorder as there are many misconceptions about recovery. Recovery is beautiful, it’s uncomfortable, but necessary!! Health is beautiful. Food is important, and so are you. If anyone is dealing with these thoughts I am a message away. Thank you also to amalielee from @letsrecover for helping me through. (and aubernutter !!!!! oatsnjen!!!!) I’m happy to say I’m almost now at my set-point weight, I have a new job at a sandwich place and I am no longer in that bad place. It gets better.

[aubernutter-deactivated20170607]

You are a living angel. I love you

[dreamingof--rolex-blog]

You are proof life gets better. You're amazing and so inspirational. I love you

[jxmp-off-blog]

Summer ‘15

[eventers-defy-gravity-deactivat]

Jump school at NAJYRC Alexis Murray and My Principle