Help Girl I Have Too Many Ideas

I have fallen in the Dream SMP hole and can't get back up. Please don't put discourse in asks or posts. Multiple people run blog

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PSA

Remember that these are real people, even if this is a roleplay. If they say that they are uncomfortable with the content or something along those lines, I will take down the blog without hesitation. 

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AO3 series with all the fanfics Kiwi made

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I don't think I ever asked on here before so for the gremlins at hogwarts au what do you think will happen when eryn comes to visit tommy? I feel like eryn would come and stay at hogwarts with the gremlins to supposedly hang out more with his childhood best friend but secretly be spying on the gremlins for dream

Eryn can be a little evil. As a treat.

He goes through the whole process, too. Getting sorted into a house, learning to play quidditch, all sorts of shit just to keep an eye on tommy and his mates. I mean, he's still spending time with his best friend, so what's the worst that can happen?

But... shit, spending time with their best friend is kinda neat. They learn silly spells and moderately fun games and eventually tommy opens up and eryn can't bring themself to do the same but fucking hell these boys need help.

But they're a spy. For dream, out of all people. That's all they're there to do.

Right?

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Detective au cus it's been awhile. Can you imagine Phil seeing Purpled and is like how? How is he so calm? He loves Tommy but his energy can get a bit much sometimes so he asks Puffy and she blanks. How do you explain that Purpled’s like this through both childhood trauma and natural personality? She does give him a list of what she did when her boys had too much energy when they were younger though.

Phil: how? How is purpled so calm and quiet? He's the same age as tommy, how can two teenagers possibly have such different energies?

Puffy, having various flashbacks of comforting purpled after nightmares, teaching him breathing exercises, watching him silently pour coffee into his cereal after a sleepless night: .......... it's complicated

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the open to the right page of a book one actually sounds very useful would that work on digital fanfic because if so I want that power also does he have to have read the book already and know what to look for or just take a random book from a shelf open it to a random page and see a how to annoy your sister article and think oh something i Didn’t know i needEd ver important side note does loni exist what are tubbo and ranboos families like and how do they feel about there kids future as villains

The book thing was supposed to be a joke but i got carried away sooo these are his powers now!! Lmao

1) yes, it works on digital books/fanfictions too. Techno and ranboo, resident ao3 users, are infuriated by this.

2) he doesn't need to read the book beforehand, but the page he wants does need to be relevant to the book. If he opened up a murder mystery and said "give me the page where the body is discovered", it would work. If he opened a book about baby animals and said "give me the page where the main character's grandma steals the crown jewels," it wouldn't work.

The questions also can't be too vague. If he were trapped in a cell with the right book, it would go something like "give me a useful page " > "a page on how to escape" > "a page on how to use the tools around me" > "a page that tells me how to use a poster, toilet seat, matress or book to escape a prison cell". So unfortunately, no, he would not be able to come across a guide on how to annoy his sister unless he asked the right question to the right book.

3) lani isn't in this au (out of concern for blurring the lines between c! and cc!), but y'know who can be? Crumb cuptoast! Their dad is one captain sparklez who is suspicious but overall oblivious to his son's villainy. Crumb herself is all for it and wants to join in once she's old enough.

Ranboo was established to be a rich bitch and y'know what? Let's slap some trauma onto that! His parents barely know what colour his bedroom walls are, let alone what he does in his free time. All they care is that he keeps his grades high and doesn't ruin their reputation. Oh, ranboo wishes he could tell his parents what he gets up to when he hangs out with tommy and tubbo. That would sure get them to pay attention.

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Healthy villain bench trio dynamic Tommy plans and points them towards the goal the other two execute the plan tubbo builds the equipment and acts super cute ranboo funds the operation and act’s super shy and tommy uses his family’s lessons and connections and acts super dumb

These kids are the BEST actors and psychological manipulators EVER. Tubbo comes in with a cute accent and a bounce in his step and greets the front desk lady with a friendly smile. He points to ranboo who has his sleeves pulled over his hands and a drag to his gait and politely asks "excuse me, sorry to bother but do you have a bathroom nearby?" and then they sneak off to do something nefarious. Meanwhile tommy is distracting guards by coming up with the most stupid and batshit stories he can think of (he goes VERY QUICKLY from "can you help me find my dad?" to "do you think cows can be lesbians?")

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I think powers in healthy villains au is funny because its a funny au not serious yet like imagine ranboo having this awesome moment where his eyes glow and he’s charging up to cast a powerful spell with mentor techno being proud but then he get a stapler to the face and just rag dolls or tubbo and Tommy are under siege and Tommy is begging tubbo to use his power and tubbo just goes nope grabs some near by dental floss and miraculously gets them out of it driving Tommy up a wall in the process

THE IMAGE OF RANBOO RADGOLLING IS SO FUNNY FHSKSHJKD

But YES these kids are idiots with their powers. Ranboo's only works when it's something mundane like trying to scare away a spider. Tommy doesn't have any powers so he has to improvise with absolutely everything at his disposal, including but not limited to: a paintbrush, a box cutter, an office chair, a guitar capo and a crochet hook.

Tubbo's powers are secret. He claims that if he tells ANYONE then he is under immediate threat and the government will be after him and he'll be taken to a lab and all sorts of shit. Tommy doesn't believe any bit of it but he eventually drops the question.

And then his power ends up being smthn stupid like "he always turns to the right page when opening a book" or "he always knows the perfect amount of salt to add to a dish"

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Healthy villain tommy didn’t know his fam was evil at first did Wilbur and techno not know to if so how old where they when they found out and how did they and how’d they react techno is smart maybe he found out on his own or Wilbur didn’t want to be evil or was mad phil didn’t tell him sooner because techno already knew at the time so they had this long period where they had a big fight maybe tommy got kidnapped and held ransom or he got hurt because someone wanted revenge on his dad and bros

Oh funky fresh angst. I think phil told the twins when they were both 18, but by then they'd already figured it out and were pretty chill about it. If anything wilbur was just happy he could finally get his grubby hands on some dynamite.

Tommy probably isn't quite 18 yet but is slowly starting to catch on (emphasis on SLOWLY) to the whole villain thing. He gets kidnapped for ransom and his family shows up with a fucking tank and then he's just like "...well shit ig this is my life now"

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Tommy mentioning to Techno that he's being bullied in the healthy villians au and Techno taking actions into his own hands...

"Hey tommy so y'know those kids that were bothering you–" "oh jesus christ what have you done" "what?" "Did you kill them? Because i fucking swear, techno if you've killed them–" "no jfc i talked to the principal and made him suspend them via death threats" "oh" "tommy they're absolute devils but they're still kids, gotta give them a chance" "oh well that was... unexpected" "..." "..." "..." "..." "also i put poison ivy on their eyelids while slept" "TECHNO"

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Healthy Villains Tommy has oblivious main character vibes.

Honestly, yeah. If this were a show then there would be a running gag of tommy wearing headphones/being distracted while absolutely calamity happens behind him. Yknow in the amazing spiderman when he's fighting the lizard guy and stan lee is completely oblivious? Yeah. That.

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Eret in real life studies languages and different cultures so maybe C!Eret can to...?

That checks out. We can even go one step further and say that they're into etymology and word origins (because FUCK you that shit is legitimately interesting).

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In the healthy villain au tommy has tubbo and ranboo do techno and Wilbur have friends Nikki could be a friend her family owns a bakery or she does it depends on how old she is and while she works in the kitchen jack man’s the cash register Nikki has close ties to all the members of the family she already knows what they do and jack doesn’t but he is very suspicious he’s a wannabe detective he’s actually good at piecing together clues but can’t get them due to bad luck ruining the plans he makes

Ah yes yes yes!! Niki is fully aware of everything they do but honestly doesn't mind it all that much since they don't tend to hurt innocent people, at least not on purpose.

Maybe jack takes a detective apprenticeship of sorts? He's So Unbelievably Close to figuring out the truth but bad luck and a bit of psychology tends to thwart his plans. "What do you mean wilbur is a villain? Wilbur soot? Bean pole who plays guitar and has fucked-up tastebuds and once put sand grains in his cake instead of cookie crumbs because he liked them better? THAT wilbur?"

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Healthy villain ranboo is a spoiled manipulative brat he knows how to get what he wants not by demanding but by subtle suggestions and reverse psychology along with bribing or as he likes to call them gifts he’s a secret gaslighting gatekeeping male girl boss but he can’t help the sarcasm that sometimes slips past his near constant filter he just can’t help it if he’s funny

Ranboo's a manipulator, good for him!! He's literally SO good at lying and acting but his only detriment is himself. Man tells the most convincing story you've ever heard and is just about to get away with it and then the person overhears him mutter "wow i can't believe that actually worked" and he's busted.

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healthy villain tommy goes to school he hated school until he met an weird smart and psycho kid that builds bombs tommy gravitated to him they were inseparable trouble makers years later ranboo transfers to the school he’s in the same ap smart classes with tubbo they hit it off tommy is jealous and try’s to kill ranboo multiple times but techno intervenes because he got attached to him or ranboo is rich and tommy uses him for his money or he has another skill tommy and tubbo don’t have already

Oh hell yeah, tommy and tubbo are absolutely bad news. They're completely attached at the hip and could take over the world if they wanted, with tubbo's intelligence and fake innocence and tommy's confidence and impulse. But that would take too much effort.

Ranboo's family is probably rich as hell, or at least enough to keep him in school without getting expelled. He puts on an act of Anxiety Personified™️ but soon enough his sarcasm and hatred for the system shine through and tubbo drags him to their lunch table going "can we keep him pls". Tommy wants to stab him.

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Healthy Villains

imagine Tommy accidentally drags Tubbo and Ranboo into the crime

"Tommy accidentally drags–" are you kidding? Tubbo 'Big Crime' Underscore and Ran 'I Used To Bully People Just Because I Felt Like It' Boo? Those two are 100% in on it and they LOVE it. They play major intimidation factor whenever Tommy's trying to get something.

(Ranboo, walking ominously behind Tommy: Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way–

Tubbo, jumping down from the ceiling: TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL VIVISECT YOUR LEFT LUNG)

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Wait can we imagine the scene where they threatened Sam for Michael with the chicken au??

Y'know that part in the stream where they were all just deepening their voices to sound more intimidating? Yeah. That but chicken.

Techno: WHERE'S MICHAEL

Eret: Where did you– where did you take michael

Tubbo:

BA KAWWWK--

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For the tubbo chicken au, Im very concerted why Ranboo would confess to a fricking chiken but...

•Ranboo: Tubbo...I-I been waiting for the right moment to tell you and you changed my life for the best....Tubbo will you marry me?

•Tubbo: *chiken noises*

•Ranboo: *crying* I will make the happiest chiken alive

Ranboo: tubbo, my beloved... will you marry me?

Tubbo: 🐔

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College AU: Tubbo has a double major of Nuclear Engineering and pre-law (that honestly would sound painful IRL but I wanted to acknowledge his Big Law bit on the DSMP) and Eret has a double major of history and I was gonna say something like library science (Apparently there is such a thing as Museum Science as a major, but it's not offered by many colleges) -RentFree

Tubbo's a smart cookie, good for him! He gets SO little sleep and has SO little energy during exams but his grades are brilliant so it's fine.

Didn't know library science was a thing, but it sounds in character! Eret and karl share their history classes. Eret loves looking more on the factual side of things, what really happened during the war, who really killed the king. Karl probably prefers the more whimsical side of history, the petty conflicts, the outfits, etc. etc. They have a library of notebooks and doodles together and add to it during lectures or detentions.