First off, let me apologize for just kind of disappearing without a word. My internet situation is precarious at best and Tumblr seems to be the one app that can never operate with my one bar of cell signal, so after a while I just kind of gave up trying.Ā
In terms of updates, thereās not much that has changed.Ā
I survived the winter in my trailer with only one or two mishaps. Note to self: have some way to deal with frozen locks BEFORE the locks are frozen. Surprisingly enough I actually got frozen INSIDE my trailer once too. I donāt know if it was condensation or a small amount of water leaking from the top of the door, but the water pooled around the locks I have on the doors that go into the floor and completely froze. I had to beat the crap out of the locks before I could get out.Ā
I went through a really terrible time when it wouldnāt stop raining and where Iām parked turned into a literal mud bog. I was constantly dirty, my trailer was constantly dirty, Stiles was constantly dirty, my car was always at risk of getting stuck in the mud...it was not good. Luckily I made it through that phase as well to get back to the point where I love where I am. The weather is nice and I can spend my free time outside enjoying it all.Ā
My job has turned out to take up much more time than I anticipated and has defeated the purpose of working part time. I now work close to full time hours each week and donāt get off work until 9 each night. I love being able to take Stiles to work with me, but again, Iām stuck in a situation where I canāt have a life because of work.
Being out here has made me realize something though. Itās made me realize some things about friendships and relationships being out of balance and where is really the best place to invest your time. I think I have made the decision to move back to NC.Ā
This is the first time I have been away from home by choice. No school or work obligations forcing me to live one place or the other. Having the choice makes all the difference. You can find a way to be happy and make a life almost anywhere, if you have to. That doesnāt mean itās where you really want to be. My parents are getting older, my mom is sick, my dad is struggling trying to take care of her and work full time....and here I am, in Birmingham, for some reason that is just not good enough. I need to be with them and help them while I have the chance or I will probably never forgive myself. I also want to spend as much time as I can with the people who make me a priority in their world.Ā
I donāt know what Iām going to do when I get there. Iām considering taking an esthetician course at the community college. Who knows. All I know is that I am once again living a life where I work and go home and thatās it. No relationships, no social life, no free time. I have a day off tomorrow and then work 8 days in a row, 8 hour days or longer each day. I donāt even know how I agreed to this. The demands creep in so slowly and you want to try and be accommodating to your employer and before you know it......itās all taken over again. Ā And I donāt even get benefits for it.Ā
Even when you live tiny you have to still make an active effort to keep things in balance. itās still too easy to get sucked into things you donāt want.