I got this off of Reddit
link to the original post below. the topic of the thread was “that girl you’re thinking about right now:” http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e67p2/that_girl_the_one_youre_thinking_of_right_now/c15n9tg
Michelle, I’m not sure why you popped into my head. I have dated many girls since that summer we met, and so many years have passed, so it’s interesting that I saw this on Reddit and felt compelled to write about you.
Flashback…. We were in high school then, and it was only one summer. I met you, funny enough, on a Friday night in an AOL chatroom (yeah, I’m old). Those were the days… “a/s/l check!”… You responded, with your friend, and it turned out that you were only down the street from me by a few miles. I had just turned 16 and my parents gave me that ugly Ford Taurus as my first car. We exchanged some pictures, I think, and after a few minutes of chatting, we decided to meet (and I was going to show off my awesome car). I remember it was around midnight, so I had to “sneak” out of the house, which was something I was good at back then. I opened up my bedroom window and made the jump. I put the car in neutral and let it roll down the hill a ways until I was comfortable starting it up, and then I drove to our mutually agreed upon rendezvous point. I believe it was the grocery store parking lot. I remember first seeing you as I “accidentally” drove by for a “sneak peak” at what I was getting myself into. You were so beautiful, and my heart lit up the moment I saw your face.
You know, Michelle, “these days” that sort of behavior would be frowned upon, teens meeting strangers online, at night, in a chatroom, but those were the “good ole’ days” of the Internet, right? That and we didn’t know any better, or didn’t care. Just two teenagers looking for some adventure, I guess. It all worked out though, and we fell for each other. I do have to admit that your friend was kind of goofy. She kept wanting to yap away and all I wanted to do was stare in your eyes and impress you.
It was the summer of 1996, and we created so many memories in such a short period of time. Like when I got off work and came over to spend the better part of a Saturday night with you lying on our backs, staring up at the the sky and counting the stars. The cool, dry desert air made it just enough uncomfortable for you that I got to wrap my arms around you to keep you warm. We shared our thoughts, our fantasies, and even our future ambitions. Conversations well beyond our years, it seemed. It was all so innocent and simple. We kissed, we held hands, we cuddled, but never anything more.
I remember how it seemed like an eternity when I wasn’t with you. The one time you visited me at work, that was so cool, my heart lit up. Unfortunately, I also got nervous because I felt like an idiot wearing my grocery store outfit, and I ended up knocking over the egg cartons I was stocking up. Wow. So humiliating. You laughed, but you didn’t leave. Instead, you helped me clean up the mess! But that’s the kind of person you were, kind hearted, gentle, selfless.
It sucked when you had to move away to live with your Mom in another state. But all good things come to an end, I guess, and when we’re young the “good things” seem to come and go faster.
A new school, a new state, and slowly, a new life….
We kept up for several years by hand written letters, e-mail, and the occasional phone call. But over time the novelty wore off and we lost touch. I remember the last time I tried calling you, your dad answered (sorry, but he was such a prick). He told me that you were unavailable and he said not to call after 10… My bad… For some reason I held off on calling again, I sort of hoped you’d call me instead, but you never did. Surely you got the message? Who knows. I never will.
Fast forward about 10 years since I last spoke with you, and it’s 2008, I had just made the “big leap” and decided I was going to try out Facebook… I had sworn it off, but through a series of events in my own life, and a cross country relocation, I thought it would be the best way to stay connected with my family and friends back home. You were one of the first people I thought of when I started searching for long lost friends. But I couldn’t find you on Facebook, I even tried your old e-mail (which apparently didn’t work anymore). I was sort of surprised you weren’t on there. I could totally see you as the Facebook type. So I searched for you on Google and other places, and that is when I found out that you had died, tragically, years earlier. I was shocked, to say the least. You were such an instrumental part of my life at one point, even if it was brief. I cried as the reality hit me that I would never get a chance to “reconnect” with you, and I never had the opportunity to say goodbye. How could this happen? It seems time had left its mark, and we really had gone our separate ways, with no mutual friends to keep each other in the loop as to what the other was up too.
Tears well up in my eyes even today to think that your smile is no longer gracing this earth. I ponder “what ifs”. If only things could have been different. If only you hadn’t moved. If only we had stayed in touch! If only I could have been there the day of your death, maybe I could have prevented the inevitable… My reason and logic break down here, and my emotion takes over.
I guess the beauty in some relationships is that they aren’t meant to last. It’s what we take from them that matters most. I am a better person to have known Michelle. She was an amazing girl. As I grow older her memory will fade, but her significance will not. This was our song that summer (yeah, I know, it’s pretty cheesy). I believe it hit the Top 10 on the Billboard 100 that year, but for at least 3 months, it belonged to two wild eyed teenagers, finding our way under the hot desert sun and long winded nights. Hands held tight. My first love. Michelle.
