maelstrom

Lee "Hoya" Howon // 21 years // Hopeful Entertainer // All-rounder // "One lives in the hope of becoming a memory."

[droppedrkhoya]

let’s say goodbye to hoya (once again) lmao. i’ve got nothing other than the fact that this guy should’ve just been put to rest the second time, but whatever. honestly, the only reason i picked him up was because i was eventually going to leave roleplay entirely and i wanted hoya to be the last muse i had before that happened but i decided to stay with roleplaying so... he’s gotta go. buuut, i still have shownu so plot with him! and i’ll be picking up a second muse so there’s that.

[memorialofrksxngji]

Deja vu Piano | LHW & SJE

[droppedrkhoya]

rksxngji:

[/part of Jieun is still amused about this situation. She just barely resists the urge to mess with him and play pranks on him by telling him things she knows about him and situations they’ve been in. After all she did see him shirtless at one point when coming over with lunch for his roommate and herself. In the end the two of them divulged all of it while crossing chopsticks to fight for the last pieces of chicken. Or that Hoya had helped her get over her initial awkwardness when dancing with a partner- if looked at it from a bystander perspective, she could definitely mess with him but Jieun wasn’t that mean.] Yush! That I know. [/with an easy smile on her lips she walks.] if there is anything you want me to tell you about Seoul or people here, just let me know! I know quite lots of people so I’ll probably able to help you out!

( ` hoya is still contemplating whether or not he wants to know the truth. on one hand, he could be missing important, or even better, happy memories. then on the other hand, he’s been quite content with his life so far. is he willing to risk that? what if jieun tells him something that makes him angry or even sad? well, hoya thinks it’s better than being in the dark. lord knows his friend, seungyeob, isn’t going to bother helping him out with this situation. he’s going to have a talk with him when he sees. as of right now, he’d have jieun tell him everything. ) actually.... now that you mention it. i’d love to know everything about me -- the old me -- if that’s not too much to ask? maybe what was i like? was i nice or no? i hope i was. and since you know me, i’m just gonna go ahead and guess that this isn’t my first time living in seoul. 

[g-y-u]

[rep-lay-ed]

[droppedrkhoya]

losing sight

“august, ninth. weather is relatively clear. i just got out of work. so here we go, lee howon.” 

it’s simply a recording of himself that he keeps for personal use. lately, his mind’s been wandering too much and talking to someone seems useless at this point, so he wants to get his thoughts together in a recording of himself so he can re-watch it over and over and clear his head at the same time. 

“for a few weeks now, i’ve run into people who claim they know me? obviously, they must know me because hoya isn’t even a common name. it’s... a nickname, too. like what?” hoya stares at the camera, a strained expression on his face before sighing heavily. 

he runs a hand through his soft locks in frustration, tugging at his hair. “it’s annoying me that i can’t remember them. it’s makes me think.... what else am i missing in this head of mine?”

“i talked to seungyeob and he said that i shouldn’t worry about it. if i was meant to remember, i would. the fact that i haven’t means i should stop trying any harder than i am, right?” a pout makes its way to hoya’s lips and he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand. 

hoya’s lips set firmly into a line as he furrows his eyebrows in an attempt at thinking of what to do next. he sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose because he felt a headache coming on. 

“all right, lee howon, just don’t focus too much on anybody or anything else. just focus on you, your life, and your dreams. you’re gonna be a huge performer--singer, dancer, everything-- that’s what you’re aiming for, so don’t lose sight of that.” he gives himself some thumbs up as self-motivation and breaks into a smile before shutting off his camera. 

[previously-kimvampgyu-deactivat]

[droppedrkhoya]

inhale O2, spit fire; hoya+joey

[droppedrkhoya]

ljoerk:

Mail is one of those trivial things he always forgets to check, and he’s thankful the people nowadays have turned to more modern forms of communication because if he had to rely on snail mail and check his mailbox everyday, then no one would ever hear from him. He goes to grab it at least once a week if he’s lucky. But thankfully nothing super urgent ever comes for him in the mail– no packages from online shopping or post cards from relatives who’ve gone on vacation or anything like that. 

He just so happens to remember to pick up the mail today; he stands in their apartment lobby by the stairs to actually open their mailbox to check what’s inside– bills, bills, flyers, and more flyers– he discards about half the pile into the nearby recycling bin, turns to the stairs to make his way up to his apartment– and that’s when he sees him. Re-encounters with Hoya have always been awkward, despite them leaving things on ‘okay’ terms since the last time they met– and speaking of which, it’d also been a while since he’s last seen him. From how he sees this, he has two options: one, ignore him and pretend like he didn’t see him, therefore avoiding the awkwardness, or two– confront him and say hello. 

(But who is he kidding, he’s not the first type of person anyway)

So, he stops, taps the other male on the shoulder and, “Hey Hoya, long time no see! What’ve you been up to?” Was that too casual? Probably too casual.

hoya checks his mailbox and sees a few things inside addressed to him -- a few bills, spam letters, a letter from his family back in busan, some letters from friends in LA, but nothing out of the ordinary, but hoya’s not surprised after all. he did just recently move to seoul anyways. he finished perusing through everything, tossing out junk mail into the recycling bin and starts to head back upstairs only for someone to stop him. 

he takes the earbud out and gives the stranger a curious glance but a smile nonetheless. of course, it has to be another weird encounter for hoya. he really can’t catch a break, can he? it’s almost as if this is karma for him doing something bad in a past life or whatever. hoya switches his music off and shoves his earbuds into his pocket, not caring if they tangle or not, and regardless, they were going to. 

“it’s nice to see you, too?” hoya answers the stranger’s question with a question of his own and he hopes this meeting isn’t awkward, but too late. “uhhh, i guess i’m good? i uhhh, i’m getting settled in seoul, but it’s all good.” he searches the other’s face for a sign of familiarity, but it’s so faint, hoya’s not sure if he even knows this person or it’s just because the guy has a common face. 

“i don’t wanna seem rude or anything, but uhhh, what’s your name again?” yeah, he probably made it awkwrd. 

[memorialofrksxngji]

Deja vu Piano | LHW & SJE

[droppedrkhoya]

rksxngji:

[/and so Jieun walks ahead, confused, still a little lost. She never dealt with friends who suffered from memory loss before. Yet there was no sense in making it more complicated as it was. Leaving Hoya to feel guilty or like he did something wrong was the last thing she wanted. Especially when he apologized to her. Slowing down her step so they were on the same path again, the trainee smiled.] Oh no, please don’t apologize. It’ll be alright somehow. I hope you’ll regain your memories and well- we can always just get to know each other again! [/then she bows her head, dismissing to extend her hand since he was more than occupied at the moment.] Song Jieun. Nice to meet you! [/then she grinned. Even if her intentions were honest, she couldn’t help but feel a little amused about introducing herself to a person she had known for over a year.]

( ` despite her saying he shouldn’t apologize, hoya feels like he owes her that much. if he was in her place, he knows that the feeling of being forgotten would feel much worse to him than death itself. he can’t imagine what it would be like if someone he had known just up and forgot who he was. ) yeah... i’d like that. ( ` he tries to flash her a smile but it’s quite difficult when he feels like he made everything awkward now, but he tries and that’s what matters. ) it’s nice to meet you, song jieun! you already know my name apparently, but uhh.... lee howon at your service, although i go by hoya usually. ( ` maybe just maybe somehow by being around jieun, he’ll regain some form of memory of possibly her or maybe just anybody else he could be forgetting. )

[droppedrkhoya]

forgive & forget; bsj+lhw

[droppedrkhoya]

rkbsuji:

it was for old time’s sake. to get away from the strict training atmosphere, she wanted to go back to her roots where she first had started to properly learn how to dance, or freestyle her dancing at least. she liked to think that she had gotten better at it, but she knew that she still had a long way to go. glancing up at the sign made her feel a little nostalgic, smiling to herself she opened the door and greeted the font desk lady with a smile.

her feet moved over the floor and towards the same practice room she had used back then, where she had had most of her classes. once she was outside the door she noticed someone else was there, blinking a little she opened the door, curious she glanced inside only to spot a familiar figure. “oh!” was her first reaction as she laid her eyes on the male,, she entered the room silently as she didn’t want to disturb him as he was warming up, getting ready to dance.

hoya goes through different motions of his body and oddly feels as if he’s done it before, in this exact room, in this exact spot. strange, he knows, but maybe it’s just because all dance rooms are practically the same. hoya doesn’t think that’s the case but he didn’t want to argue with himself in his head. instead, he focuses on warming up, loosening up his entire body before he turns his music on. 

in the corner of his eye, he notices a figure standing at the door and he almost stops because the face looks familiar to him. he hasn’t had the chance to dance in awhile though, he pretends to not have seen her presence and he moves to the music, limbs swaying in precision to the beat. 

he feels bad for ignoring the other person in the room, so he stops dancing and turns off his music, bowing his head at the stranger. “sorry, am i using your space or something? i figured i could use this place since nobody else was in, but if it’s yours, go ahead.” he flashes a smile before going over to his bag.

[infinitblaq]

[memorialofrksxngji]

Deja vu Piano | LHW & SJE

[memorialofrksxngji]

[/He really had forgotten her. Shock still freezing her bones and facial features, it was clearly to be seen she was equally as confused as he was for a second. Suddenly this whole situation became a lot more awkward. More so from a dejavu to a horrid twist of fate. Jieun didn’t feel like laughing about this anymore.] Well I uhm… I’m glad you seemed to have recovered well from your accident.  [/She told him with a weak smile, straightening her posture while still looking seemingly lost. How was she to deal with this situation? if not for him gesturing to the instrument he was carrying for her, Jieun would have perhaps remained frozen for good moments longer.] Oh! Yes uhm… You don’t need to- I mean.. you don’t have to I uhm.. [/okay, deep breath and try again Jieun.] This way please. I owe you big time…[/again.]

[droppedrkhoya]

( ` he felt way more guiltier than he should have felt. for one thing, he didn’t know her, at least, that’s what he’s thinking. just from the look on her face, he could tell that he hurt her in some way and it wasn’t like he could just pretend and act like everything was okay and that he knew her because it didn’t work that way. ) no, really, it’s not a problem at all. i’m glad to be of help. ( ` he followed after her, his strained smile still on his face. ) i really am sorry that i can’t seem to remember you... i feel so bad. if i could, i seriously would. as far as i know, i just see these memories played out in my mind but faces are kinda blurred and yeah, i dunno. ( ` he ruffles the front of his hair and laughs. ) sorry.

[memorialofrksxngji]

Deja vu Piano | LHW & SJE

[memorialofrksxngji]

[/the original smile widening her lips dissipated into one of confusion when Hoya seems to be copying his speech from the first time they met, just the same way. While that itself might have been relatively funny, it’s the genuine expression he carries which confuses her. Almost as if he doesn’t know who she is.] I’m… yes uh… [/rendered speechless and caught off guard, she can’t help herself when her brain decides to jump to the closest option within reach. So she laughs, thinking he was trying to fool her.] Ah I see what you’re doing there! It hasn’t been all that long that we’ve met, come on~ [/then she nudges him, hoping it would ease the awkwardness away. Just that it doesn’t.] Don’t tell me you suffer from amnesia or some stuff?! [/that is the option which dawns to her next. It’s a less funny option, a lot less funny. In the end Jieun is confused. Did Hoya really forget her?]

[droppedrkhoya]

( ` hoya tried not to let his smile slip as he laughed nervously when the stranger nudged him. he scratched his cheek with his index finger and looked around, thinking that maybe this was just some prank on him. ) i’m really sorry, miss, but i’m pretty sure we’ve never met before. this is my first time in seoul, so i haven’t really met anybody. ( ` he tilted his head and tried to look apologetic. apparently she knew him, but hoya doesn’t and that made him feel pretty bad. ) i mean i got into an accident back in america, but i’m not sure anything happened. ( ` he flashed her another apologetic smile and bowed his head slightly ) sorry, but i really don’t know you. but uhhh... where to? ( ` he gestured to the instrument. )

[memorialofrksxngji]

Deja vu Piano | LHW & SJE

[/There was a sense of nostalgia how Jieun dragged her new keyboard across the road, trying to somehow get the heavy thing into her apartment without a scratch. While grateful for the gift, the trainee wished it had been delivered to her doorstep rather than requiring for her to carry it all the way towards her one room apartment. With a sigh exhaled past her lips, she left the carton standing on the concrete for a second, wiping some sweat of her brow. And that was when she saw him: Howon! Feeling a sense of deja vu in the way he seemed to be approaching her, she was reminded of their first meeting and how he had helped her back then as well to get her key piano from a to b safe and sound. But wait- since when was he back in Seoul again?]

[droppedrkhoya]

( ` it’s a familiar scene that played in his mind. why was it that every time he walked through the streets of seoul, he was plagued with memories of walking here once before despite this being his first time in seoul. hoya strolled down the sidewalk, breathing in the air when his eyes caught onto a sight that gave him a sense of sympathy. it happened to be a girl trudging along with a keyboard in tow. hoya’s first thought was why in the world didn’t she have it delivered to her house or why didn’t she have any help, his second thought was that he should definitely help her and that he did. ) excuse me, miss, but you seem to be having trouble there, so i thought i’d lend a helping hand if that’s quite all right with you. ( ` he flashed a smile and took hold of the instrument so she wouldn’t have anymore trouble with it. )

[droppedrkhoya]

[23.07.15] verylittlewon posted !

couldn’t help but buy myself some plants! okay world, say hello to hoya jr., hoaegi, and choop!

[droppedrkhoya]

[20.07.15] verylittlewon posted !

maybe not knowing is better than knowing at all.

[droppedrkhoya]

✘ RKDANCEOFF; L E E ‘HOYA’ H O W O N

Overhead, speakers blasting dance music are scattered around the area. Crowds of people are gathered around to watch as another dance battle has concluded. Hoya clapped and cheered for the victor, a smile on his face after witnessing a very close match. He had these dance battles all the time, but after being in the hospital, he hadn’t been allowed to dance until he rested up enough. Then after he was discharged from the hospital, Seungyeob forced him on a plane and flew to Seoul. Something about new beginnings and opportunities or whatever. 

Excitement, Hoya felt in his veins. 

Fingers twitched in anticipation at the announcement of the next battle. Hearing his own name called sent a shot of adrenaline through his body and a grin put upon his face. God, he loved dancing. More than anything really. Since he had lived in Busan, dancing has been his passion. Singing and rapping were fun, too, but nothing beat dancing. 

For Hoya, dancing was something that was personal, something that even regardless of the large crowd around him, it felt like he was the only one in the room. The music blared through speakers and the battle began. Hoya was never the type to go first and he instead let his opponent go first; it let him study the other and maybe even manage to learn something or pick up a thing or two. 

Strong, powerful, hard-hitting, smooth. Those were the kinds of words that people said about his dancing. Even after practicing in the states, he focused in those areas the most. He wanted to leave a lasting impression on those who watched him dance. 

A head boping to the beat, arm movements that matched the bass of the song, swift leg movements that caused him to effortlessly glide across the floor. He even tossed in a move that he seldom did but only for showing off; Hoya flipped his body up and back using just one arm and one leg. The cheers from the crowd said it all. 

Hoya doesn’t remember who won that night in all honesty. He doesn't remember a lot of things, but he didn’t really care actually. He just loved dancing and the thrill that came from it. Maybe Seoul had a place for him, maybe Seoul was the place that could make his dancing dreams come true. For some odd reason, he feels a familiarity with Seoul, but he can’t really place his finger on it. 

[rep-lay-ed]