Dr. PettySILF

Peer-Reviewed Pettiness, A Scholar of Questionable Intentions.

[drpettysilf]

To Whom It May Concern

Historian (still under self-doubt, but academically doctored). Writer (jury is still out). Certified academic nuisance (peer-reviewed).

I write enemies to lovers, slow burn, and academic AUs for people who flirt via citations, committees, applications, and emotional repression.

This blog exists because therapy is expensive and fanfiction is free. And I have so much academic trauma and love for Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.

Yours sincerely, Dr. PettySILF

[drpettysilf]

Okay, so I had a dream. (No weirdness so far, I know.)

But in this dream, Hermione politely asked Draco whether she might be permitted to use his library. This question completely broke Draco's brain. Not because he disliked Hermione. Quite the opposite, unfortunately. The man had absolutely no idea what to do with her. A yearning idiot wandering blindly toward his own emotional destruction.

No, the problem was that he genuinely could not understand why an intelligent person would need permission to enter a library.

The difficulty, of course, being that absolutely no one—not a single living soul—was permitted inside his library. Ever. The hypocrisy did not occur to him.

(I do love a fanon Draco who is face-first in denial.)

I woke up and immediately started writing.

Do I have urgent tasks to complete?

Yes.

Do I have a contract requiring me to write a serious academic monograph on an emperor?

Also yes.

Do I care?

Apparently not.

They were Victorians in my dream.

Fucking Victorians.

The Matter of Miss Granger

Years of obsessing over Mr Rochester, Mr Darcy, Sherlock Holmes, and Colin Bridgerton have finally produced their inevitable consequence:

Victorian Draco Malfoy.

And unfortunately for my career, my deadlines, and the very serious book I am supposed to be writing, I appear to be taking him extremely seriously.

Thank you Bronte, Austen, Quinn or even Doyle.

[drpettysilf]

It feels so strange to have a new Harry Potter trailer after all these years and it has again the power of making me cry for hours. I was 5 when i read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for the first time now I am 32 and it seems nothing changed even tho I dislike Rowling, Harry Potter holds me in chokehold.

[drpettysilf]

Draco Malfoy: I am perfectly in control.

His subconscious: Granger. Straddling him. Gasping for air.

Draco Malfoy: This is clearly sabotage. Possibly dark magic. Definitely illegal.

His subconscious: Makes him enjoy it.

Draco Malfoy: …I would like to file a formal complaint and also never speak of this again.

Against His Better Judgment

[drpettysilf]

Draco Malfoy, discovers that proximity is, in fact, a weapon. (To his dismay, not in his favour)

Draco adjusted his grip, lifting Granger's hand onto his arm and guiding her around himself while casting spells at the witches and wizards closing in.

He would never admit it, but Granger dueled with precise, ruthless beauty.

Watching her move was almost pleasant.

And unsettlingly, their spellwork aligned with alarming ease.

She caught his arm. Just for balance.

It lasted no more than a second.

Draco did not let go.

He told himself it was tactical. He told himself it was necessary. He did not tell himself why his pulse jumped like he’d been struck. *****

write a dramione fanfiction, they said. it’ll be fun, they said. no one warned me about draco malfoy would become a hostile working condition.

[drpettysilf]

Against His Better Judgment: A Study in Hermione Granger

(Dramione | Academic AU | Slow Burn)

Dearest Reader,

Draco Malfoy holds secrets powerful enough to ruin lives as the Head of the Department of Mysteries— and yet, without a doctorate, he cannot keep his position.

Hermione Granger has a doctorate, a post as an Assistant Professor at Magical Cambridge, an intellect that terrifies committees, and absolutely no intention of working with him.

The Secret Order of the Violet Flame disagrees.

Forced into collaboration by academic blackmail, they must survive Magical Cambridge, forbidden libraries, and—most perilously—each other.

One can only speculate which will prove more dangerous: the knowledge they seek… or the proximity required to seek it.

Yours most sincerely, A Concerned Observer

🔗 Read on AO3: Against His Better Judgment: A Study in Hermione Granger

[drpettysilf]

Important (Unfortunately)

Syllabus

This blog contains:

– Dramione – Academic AUs (Potions, Alchemy, committees, grants, institutional misery) – Enemies to lovers – Slow burn (the kind that should come with a fire permit) – People who flirt via footnotes, evaluations, bibliographies, and passive-aggressive charms. – Emotional repression as a narrative device – Competence kink (I said what I said) – Yearning. Excessive yearning. Possibly hazardous levels

This blog does not contain:

– Instant gratification – One-chapter emotional resolution – Characters who communicate efficiently – Respect for committees – Apologies for being pedantic

Warnings:

– Sarcasm is the primary coping mechanism – Romance develops at an academically irresponsible pace – Mutual intellectual destruction may occur – Grants are mentioned (derogatory)

If you are here for:

✔ slow burn ✔ academic rivals ✔ five-year-old flirting skills in adult bodies ✔ hot brains, hotter blondes ✔ “we could destroy each other but choose not to (yet)” energy

Welcome. You are safe here.

If not— Committee meetings are down the hall.

Yours sincerely, Dr. PettySILF