drunkls , previously a writing blog for sugatalks . sideblog . please do not interact if you are under twenty . all replies and starters will now be posted here !
i don't do bad sauce passes
One Nice Bug Per Day
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie
🪼

⁂
sheepfilms

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

blake kathryn

if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n

No title available
Peter Solarz
Xuebing Du

izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle

★

seen from United Kingdom
seen from New Zealand
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from United States
@drunkls
drunkls , previously a writing blog for sugatalks . sideblog . please do not interact if you are under twenty . all replies and starters will now be posted here !
he lingered on every word that tumbled from plump brims . none of it felt like a gamble to him , yes , perhaps a few fans would drift away , but in the vast expanse of his world , it was surely inconsequential . career wasn't sought after for fame or untold wealth , it had blossomed from love . love for the melodies that coursed through veins , for the team that stood beside him through every low and high . everything else was only a byproduct of devotion , and he'd take some losses of it mean he remained the man he was before it all . he can’t help but chuckle at cascade of hypothetical inquires spilling from petals , yet beneath the amusement , he knows the truth , senses the way anxiety coils through petite frame , how the weight of every what if presses upon her . ‘ i come back for you , hannah . ’ his hand rises instinctively , brushing back a stray strand of blonde tresses behind conch . a wide , radiant grin still lingering as if absurdity of her musings had painted it there permanently . ‘ i'm not risking much , i dont think . sure , maybe a few fans , but those people dont know me and i dont know them so … ’ he shrugs with casual ease , his hands weaving together at the small of her back , pulling her close , anchoring her against him . ‘ i dont have everything if im on the road and missing you like crazy , i'm clearly missing something there . and whoever is fine but … none of them would know me , not in the way you do . ’ everything seemed to spiral back to her , if only she could glimpse what he saw . the girl who had stood steadfast before the world knew his name , who had walked beside him through every doubt , whose faith in him had burned brighter than any spotlight . it had always been her , always , undeniably , her . ‘ i come back because i love you . ’ and it is the first time those weighty , fervent syllables have passed brims , each one drenched in truth . his gaze lingers on her , unwavering , alive with a sincerity that leaves no room for doubt . ‘ no matter who i'm with , where i'm at , i always think of you . you're in my heart and i dont see you ever leaving there . ’
it wasn't something that she would ever ignore — and a previous version of her , perhaps one in any other scenario where parker wasn't in , hannah would have already been packed and gone . and the conversation was going to be had . truth was going to come out — but it didn't need to be right now , did it ? decided rather quickly to keep it on the back burner , something to boil down and let it rise later . in her world , in their world , it didn't matter . she was with him . . and nothing was more important than this . flashbacks to their first meetings , the ridiculous butterflies she had gotten when he looked at her , the same ones that had never left when he was in her presence . remembers how much had changed , how much life had passed . there was nothing that was constant — except for one thing . not for a fleeting moment , was there ever doubt in how strong her feelings were for the man in front of her . how much she needed him , desired him in a way that she couldn't put into words . listens to every word that passes males brims as if it was demanded , fingers softly running through the ends of blonde hair as the breath catches in her throat . three words leave his lips and she's in a trance , dreams caught this scenario many times . . wished every goodbye would follow with these , and while it never did , she always kept the hope clinging . had imagined her reaction a million times , and yet nothing compared . ' parker . . ' she breathes out , declaration ringing over and over again as if it was yet another one of her dreams . ' you have no idea how much i love you . ' smiles , bright and wide as she shakes her head gently . ' there's never a time that you're not on my mind . every time you leave , my heart hurts not knowing when i'll see you again . ' moves both hands to either side of his neck , ' i miss you every second you're not here . i never want to be here with anyone else . you're it for me . ' her voice is soft , as if it was terrifying for her to give so much of herself to him , ' i want you . and i can't ever imagine a life where i won't ever want you . '
he was right . no matter how much she tried to shift blame , no matter how fiercely she pressed her gaze away from the truth , weight of it circled back to her alone . it was her burden to carry , her duty to act when it came to her father . his eyes like a constant shadow , cutting across tender spaces she tried to preserve with the man at her side . and when moments dwindled down to just her and the old man , his tongue became the blade , each little remark of disdain slicing her thin defenses until it felt like an unceasing storm she could not outrun . ‘ yeah . he'd kill me then he'd kill you . ’ no longer fought him , her rebellion dulling into a nervous gnaw of pearls against nail beds as she wrestled with the weight of her next words . had faced elder before , voice trembling for mercy , begging him not to step beyond the line he seemed so eager to cross , only to be brushed aside , ignored as though carried off by the wind . yet she would weather that humiliation again , so long as it meant colin remained within her grasp . ‘ i'll talk to him . but … ’ tone gentled to a hush as fawn irises lifted to him , step by measured step she prowled closer , closing the aching distance with a grace both hesitant and deliberate . manicured digits find the hem of his shirt , toying with it absently . ‘ you dont believe the things he says , do you ? ’ gazes up at him with wide , unguarded doe hue , as though he had strung every star across the heavens with his own hands . she didn’t date , not with her career erupting into brilliance overnight , not with the world demanding every piece of her . and yet , he had slipped past her carefully built walls , seeped through the cracks she thought were sealed tight . no matter how fiercely she tried to scrub him from beating vessel , he lingered there . ‘ because no matter what he says , i dont care , for any of his opinions . all i know is … i love you , and i - i wanna be with you . he can say we're on different paths , he can say whatever he wants , but my path is you , colin . ’
and it was a silly concept — to all but tip toe around someone who truly couldn't have a say in his daughters relationships . she was an adult , and while she respected her father , the line of helpful and controlling always managed to blur in the mans eyes when it came to autumns dating life . and he wanted her — god , how colin wanted her . a fire that burned bright , couldnt dim no matter how much time passed , how many comments were made . . . threats given . he tells himself he could give it up . he could move on , find someone who didn't come with a more than frustrating man that tracked her personal life like the daily newspaper . he could convince himself , try to push down the desire . but no matter how long time passed , no matter how many times he told himself he could let go , he was a fool to even speak the words . the moment she was in his vicinity , moment the scent captured . . . he was a goner . she had him wrapped around her finger without even knowing it . ' he doesn't just say we're on different paths , autumn , he — ' and his voice is soft , frustration quickly leaving system as he meets her gaze , heartstrings tugging as his heart begs him to drop reality . to just be with her . say fuck everyone , and everything else . ' he says we're different people . and i mean , fuck — he's not wrong . ' pushes out a breath , taking a step closer , praying that she doesn't push him away . ' look at you . look at what you're doing . you're successful , smart , you're — perfect . ' decides to take a risk , stepping one big step forward as a hand reaches to cup immaculate features , thumb softly brushing against cheek . ' and i love you . you have no idea how much i do . but what kind of person would i be if i held you from reaching your full potential ? ' eyes squint , ' you can talk to him all you want . he is never going to change his mind about me . i am always going to be the one thing in your life that disappoints him . '
line she traced across dermis ignited him from within . he fought to keep his reaction hidden , but the way his gaze followed movement of her fingers betrayed him , anyone witnessing the pair could see he was utterly captivated by her he was . it was only natural , she had been the first and only girl he had ever truly loved . after pouring himself into his sport , no one else had come close to claiming beating vessel , and he had preferred it that way . he could do nothing then , not with his brother there , and so he quietly yearned for her in secret . every fleeting moment he shared with her became a treasure , far more precious than having nothing at all . ‘ no , i think you'll always have a chance with me . ’ honesty spilled brims , his gaze drifting from her touch to settle on fawn irises . he smiled softly , each word carrying the full weight of his sincerity . though the mention of other girls made cranium dip , melodious laughter filling the bar at her claim . she wasn’t wrong , yet he had never given those girls much thought . ‘ some girls , not a lot . but i dont pay attention to them . none of them really … catch my eye . ’ none had ever captivated him like she did . had begun to believe his type was singularly her , no one else ever stirred his interest or drew his attention the way she did . gaze drifting from her to group of friends in the distance , glance only cementing the thought further in his mind . ‘ hey , your friends wouldnt mind if i stole you from them , would they ? i'm down the street … you should come over , let me show you around . ’
and she watched him , waited for some sort of hint that what she was doing wasn't in vain . the moment eyes traced gentle touch , suddenly all was in perspective . the tension from years built up , and perhaps it was always there . . rather it be stronger than she imagined . all she knew , was in this moment , there was never a time where her heart beat so fast . her whole body ignited , as if years of desire had come rushing to the surface , all at one time . eyes widened at statement , smile lingering across brims , and couldn't help the rush of red coming to heat up cheeks . ' you think ? ' teases , raising brow slightly upward , ' challenge accepted . ' and a smirk dances against brims , taking another sip from the glass bottle before setting it down . had realized this scene with him had been the first time in a long time she was truly immersed — had spent so much time with work , didn't care too much to go out and mingle . and now , femme didn't realize just how much she missed this , missed him , until this moment , and she truly didn't know if she could go without it again . ' oh , no ? for a minute there i pictured you a real ladies man . ' laughs , glancing over to the group of girls across the room , who were very obviously paying too much attention to the two . looks back at him and smiles , a soft nod , ' i don't think they'd miss me too much . sounds like fun . ' she leans down from the bar top , before vision blinks towards him . idea fills her mind — a risky one , but she was never the type to wait for a moment to fall in her lap . ' but first — ' she mumbles softly , just loud enough for him to hear . she dares a movement , finger placed on further side of his cheek , motioning him closer to her before the distance is closed between them . lips softly place themselves on top his , soft , slow — the sounds of yelling from what was clearly her friends cheering muffled in her ears . . but she pays no mind . instead , danced her lips against his , slowly , savoring , just incase this was one and done . pulls away , a grin plastered as she did . ' had to turn that maybe into a definitely . ' voice is soft , grin widening with ease , ' m'kay — i'm ready now . '
would she be . . . entirely embarrassing herself right now to walk up un - announced to a place she knew he would be , just to give him a jacket ? most definitely . practically had to pull herself from the car , feet dragging her towards the building as eyes searched for the familiar face , before waving him down , jacket hanging from petite fingers , ' hey — uh , not a stalker or anything , swear . i just thought you'd be here and i — wanted to give you this back . you probably need it more than i do . ' chuckle passes brims as she reaches over , handing the jacket over before looking at other familiar faces , ones that she could go the rest of her life without seeing . ' tell those other boys to kiss my ass for me , alright ? '
' you can't be here — if he sees you , you know what'll happen . just , for once . . listen to me . go home . '
' damn , never thought i would see your face again . . especially here . all of a sudden a fan of lucy's music ? '
' maybe it's easier to do it this way , y'know ? cut ties . . move on , like nothing ever happened . you don't wanna get tangled in my — very publicized life , anyway . '
' you can stand here and spit out the bullshit all you want , darlin' . you got everyone in that big fancy city fooled , but you forget how well i know you . '
' you never said i wasn't allowed to go out — and even if you did , what makes you think i'm gonna listen to you ? '
' i ain't got time for this right now , alright ? we're slammed — not to mention i made it pretty clear i didn't wanna see you again . '
he never attended these things ––– not even when he was younger and played more of a part on their community's reality show and that was truly saying something because oliver loved a party. but just like the show, it was all fake, he was still playing a fictionalised version of himself, evidenced by his arm wrapped around the girl he was meant to be dating. the daughter of his mom's business partner. apparently viewers had noticed their chemistry ( whatever that meant ) and producers decided to push it. hues search the crowd for her. the one he hasn't stopped thinking about since their one night together. gazes lock when he finds her, pulling arm away from fem beside him before mumbling a goodbye in her ear as feet take him to penelope. 〝 hi, i'm sorry i haven't called . . i wanted to. 〞
the last thing she expected was to see him walk over , heart suddenly pounding a million miles as he inched closer to her . she knew that night was a one time thing — there was no universe where it couldn't be . however , the reality didn't make it sting any less . ' it's fine — you aren't obligated to call me . ' shrugs , hugging her arms as she looks around , noticing leahs face and the annoyance on her features . he was playing with fire , talking to her in such a public place . they were friends , everyone knew that — but when his girlfriend was in the same room , it was an unspoken rule that he needed to be glued to her hip . not to mention , her father was expected to arrive any moment . ' 'm not staying long anyway . i just needed to make an appearance . ' gives a small smile , pain tugging at her heartstrings . ' it was good to see you . '
it was yet another one of the show's release parties , the show never really ended , but every now and then the writers and producers loved to make a big deal about the cast and crew . she had stood across the room , fighting to turn her head to see him . . . anxiety racing through her just knowing he was arm and arm with his on screen girlfriend . flashbacks of the other night rang through her mind , slow touches and vocal reactions , and it stings knowing it could never happen again . she finally looks over , eyes locking with his and sure enough the instinct was right — there she was , with him , and her heart sank .
it was late at night -- dark outside , but she couldn't care less . . . she finds herself on his doorstep ; glancing around to see if anyone followed her before knocking . after months without seeing him -- her fault, of course -- how she sort of just vanished without good reason . yet it wasn't her choice . please be home , please be home. . . mind kept repeating as she moves to knock the door again . when the door does eventually open , a gasp falls from her lips ; his swollen cheek catching her off guard and instead of focusing on her needs -- which was to beg for his help . . . she focuses her attention upon bruised features. " hi , " soft voice falls , " do you need help with that ? "
shock was an understatement , to see the girl on the other end of the door frame after so long . could've sworn he would never lay eyes again , considering she had vanished without a simple goodbye . and he usually never allowed himself to dwell on such things , pick it up and move on to whoever was next in line . and yet — was never able to hide the sting in his chest when he realized she wasn't coming back . blinks a few times , looking down for a moment , ' uh — i got it . thanks , though . ' takes a beat , taking his hand to motion her inside , before shutting the door behind him , ' what are you doing here ? '
one second everything was fine , the next she was pushing past people -- out the door . maybe , he shouldn't of followed -- should've just left her to allow the realities of his words to sink in . . . that they would never be nothing more than casual hook ups . chad didn't do relationships , it was the very first thing he told her when they started this . . . though , they still spent day and night together ; as if it were a relationship . . . up until this point where his hand was around a different girl who's been giving him attention all night long . " if you know what this is then why are you acting like this ? " brow quirks , hand shoved in his pockets ; while a sigh escapes . this is why he didn't fucking do relationships , " not do what ? you act like i was shoving my tongue down her throat . "
she wasn't a stranger to relationships like this . . in fact , would much rather have a no strings situation rather than worry about the emotions that came with something real . but somehow , she had found herself doing just that , even if the other party didn't exactly want it . ' oh — i'm sorry . i can't just turn off my feelings like a fuckin' robot like some people . ' laughs , cold and bitter , wind pushing hair before her hand moves it . it would be so much easier if she could , turn off the feelings . . and normal taegen would without a care . but for some reason , as her luck would find it — it was impossible to do so with him . and look where it's gotten her . ' i don't fuckin' know , chad i guess i assumed you would at least keep your bitches separate . but clearly . . you still feel the same as you did when we started . it's good to get a reminder . '
❝ jealous ? ❞ noel almost laughed, though the sound caught in his throat instead, more of a scoff than anything else. his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, like if he didn’t, they’d betray him. reaching for her, reaching for the truth. ❝ taegen, c’mon. you really think i’d bring someone just to get a rise out of you ? ❞ he shifted his weight, eyes skimming past her like the walls, the ceiling, the air were suddenly more interesting. it was easier than facing the storm in her gaze, easier than admitting she wasn’t wrong. because yeah, he had noticed the way her expression hardened the second he walked in with someone else on his arm. he always noticed her.
and she was the reasoning behind it all — the fights , the break up , the sole purpose for him bringing another on his arm . she had no right to be the slightest bit upset . . . and yet , couldn't help but become nauseous at the sight . ' why don't you try that again while and look at me while you say it ? ' stands her ground even if it wasn't much of her business ( or even at all ) . looks to the side , pushing out a cold breath and shakes her head , ' y'know what — it honestly doesn't matter . we're not together . . . you can do whatever you want . ' looks back and meets his eyes , and the memories rush back . the happiness , the moments where she could block out the world and just be herself . and that was all gone — because of her . ' i'm goin' home anyway . i'll see you . ' and she turns , leaving near full bottle on the counter as she pushes through the crowd .
mouth agape slightly , as she tried to merge together what was yet scattered around the two of them . clueless , at best . “ you , uh . . . are you talking to me ? ” yumi kept her voice low . “ are you feeling alright over there , buddy ? ” a frown of genuine concern outstretched across her forehead with the back of her hand pressed against his own . “ you're starting to worry me , can you see these ? c'mon , cooper . tell me how many fingers i'm holdin' up “ dismay snuffing out the light of any conducive thought before it could flicker to life - two fingers wave afront aaron's face . possibly too close to decipher , possibly too hasty to matter .
and he knew what would happen if he finally spoke the truth . . . sudden words that he honestly never thought he would ever say would bring confusion . and yet he knew — they always looked at each other a bit too long , always was the other that the phone rang to when anything was going on , day or night . it was clear . . . and yet neither decided to speak on it . decided tonight was the time to let words spill from brims , and it was obvious she wanted to still keep the unspoken — unspoken . ' will you cut it out ? ' shakes head , leaning against wall as he pushes off , hand coming up to wipe down features , ' so . . i'm wrong here ? ' pushes a breath , ' all of this shit . . . it's in my head ? '