creator of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff B]

An Alpha timeline Dave Strider blog :D

[dstrideroffical]

holy fuck what is this website

hi im d strider the guy who made sbahj

im hells balls to the wall rich and i take care of my two nephews dave and dirk theyre the best ever

idk i mostly joined tumblr because 1. bored 2. to see crackshit theories on whether im dating rosalind or not (im not)

idk ask me things do whatever the etiquette for this website is, throw me a ball for my arrival and show me which utensils to use for what food

OOC STUFF

HI THIS IS AN ASKBLOG FOR ALPHA DAVE STRIDE HEAVILY BASED ON THE FIC HOW TO SUDDENLY ACQUIRE CHILDREN ON Ao3

BASIC PREMISE: D IS RICH AND IS THE OLDER BROTHER OF BRO (DIETRICH) THEY DONT TALK AND BRO WAS HELLA ABUSIVE TO DIRK AND DAVE. ONE CHRISTMAS BRO WAS DRUNK AND ACCIDENTALLY TOLD D ABOUT THE BOYS AND D FUCKING ADOPTED THEM 🔥🔥🔥🔥

This blog is not meant to be cannon to the original fic! Its like. an au. of that fic. kinda sorta not really but definitely

ALSO THERE WILL BE ART SOMETIMES

SORRY IF D IS EVER OUT OF CHARACTER THIS IS AN IMPULSE BLOG

[dstrideroffical]

Who is truly "The Biggest Hater Of All Time"?

is it

A. Mindy from Pokemon Diamond and Pearl

B. Kendrick Lamar, best example on his track 'euphoria'

C. AM from 'I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream'

Kendrik obviously mindy i dont really know and ams hate is too manufactured like i know to some people his hate despite being ai makes it more but it just isn't to me

[dstrideroffical]

Dave turn into a crow? How? Who's Nepeta?

Congrats to other Dave for his new dog bud.

I notice a lack of mention of Dirk though. Is he alright?

oh dirks fine yeah hes doin great, working on some big project or somethin, and nepetas just a friend of daves

[dstrideroffical]

do you know how tylenol works?

not well enough

[dstrideroffical]

are you a pepto bismol guy or an ibuprofen guy

ibuprofen obviously and Tylenol is shit

[dstrideroffical]

How are the boys doing?

oh theyre doing great, dave tamed a crow with nepeta and his name is just crow and i got dave an ems dog

[dstrideroffical]

can i have $20 dollar to see sbahj movie pleasf

yeah sure take a photo of both sides of your credit card

[dstrideroffical]

iambic pentameter

goddammit

[dstrideroffical]

what are your thoughts on motherfuckin miracles dman

i like miracles yeah miracles are cool

[dstrideroffical]

Damn. If I can't be the bitches, can you at least endorse me as being the shit, pretty please? (Singular; "the shits plural" is decidedly "not cool" and not what I'm going for.)

yeah ok youre the shit

[dstrideroffical]

What would you be doing if you hadn't managed to make it in show biz?

i know the answer people expect is like ohhh id be dead in an alley but honestly id probably be like a lawyer or an archeologist or idk something

[dstrideroffical]

It's me. I'm the bitches. Right D? Right?

believe what you wanna believe kid

[dstrideroffical]

Wait who's your bitches did i miss a lore drop

im sorta keeping him out of the public eye but hes like really cool and awesome

[dstrideroffical]

hello again mr strider hows your year been going

i have bitches i have kids my life is beautiful im moisturized and i am thriving

[dstrideroffical]

how does it feel to be the most awesome man on alpha earth, good sir

pretty good ngl

[dstrideroffical]

wait ar you actualy the guy that made swet bro and hell jedf

in the screen yeah

[willgrahamscock]

KILL AI AND REBLOG AND CREATE ART IN 2026