The Age Of Not Believing

Saving the world, one chuckle at a time.

[spicymochi]

puppy gromit

[duckling-river]

Mom starts a third brand new treatment next week. Another attempt at helping her survive. Me? I’m entering a scary brainscape where idk how the fuck to survive without her. I wasn’t raised to be independent of her, I’m absolutely fucked when the day comes. The mortality of our parents is intense yall, it’s almost been a year of fighting cancer for us, which in itself is a blessing because a lot of cancer patients don’t live this long, but we really fucking need a breakthrough. I’m processing. I’m about to find god or something I stg.

[duckling-river]

There’s an endlessness within me harbouring all of the weight I’ve been handed this last year. I drag it around like a cloth laundry bag, the laundromat is always “just one more block” away.

[petaltexturedskies]

Juliette Drouet, from a letter to Victor Hugo written c. May 1846

[rosechata]

Fran Mart

[duckling-river]

Hello void

I feel like everything in my life is in shambles and my future is hopeless. I wish I could snap back 10 years and be better with money. I got fat, I have no job, I don’t feel capable of holding one anyways, I’m in debt.. moms battling cancer and I’m her pillar and caregiver.. my hair is nuts most of the time

I really don’t know how to get myself out of this but I also recognize I’m expecting my period so the complete darkness and hopelessness is amplified and surely there’s some positive beliefs in me still that I can indeed lead a life I’m proud of somehow and achieve whatever dreams I may have.

Anyways

See ya later

[duckling-river]

Played a lot of video games today, hopped off at 7 and had a good dinner, went for a walk - it was awesome. Felt really grounded and solid and connected. Got home and decided to try to run to the store to grab some groceries for breakfast time. Felt good until I realized I needed to get gas. Started paying for gas and was suddenly so hot and had to get back in the car and tame my sickly feelings. Almost didn’t get gas, almost went home. Pulled it together and got some gas, and headed to the store. Almost lost control after I parked. Still woozy vibes in the bod. Pulled it together to run in and grab my 4 things and gtfo. I was able to get my stuff and drive home and it seems all good.

But fuck man I’m not loving the way anything out of my house has become such a mountain to climb. How does one rewire neural pathways fast as fuck because I need it NOW.

[duckling-river]

I got fired and for the first week off I was super solid and productive and being okay, and this second week I’ve been worrying and going to bed after 2am and waking up at 8am and struggling and panicking about life and how to be functional etc etc etc and now I’m here so I can offload these overwhelming thoughts because I’m pretty sure it was this space that for me through it the first time. Anxiety has become a big big problem in my life and I’m working hard to recover and regain control, even though it often feels like I have none. Anyways. Hello. Goodnight.

[duckling-river]

Back again lmao

[duckling-river]

Seeking: place to dump info that will not be judged and remain 99% anonymous

Jk I found it. It’s here

Twitter is compromised for this content

[fotogrimsi-deactivated20180915]

[duckling-river]

I am so annoyed by how quickly I hate myself when I look at you. Like what kind of poison do I need to shake from my system wtf.

[like-fairy-tales]

[sheldontinydino]

Some procreate doodles as I try to get the hang of it~

[gay-renae]

[cmykflowers-archived]

Some celestial friends!

[poemswords]