lily

21yo | public diary. may talk abt ed. i'm sorry | pls block don't report

[nicollekidman]

*likes your personal post that i don’t fully understand or have context for just so you know i’m listening and i care about you*

[dumb-k1tten]

i wanna make a decision that's sooo stupid like

[dumb-k1tten]

i really do not believe he gets jealous of me because i'm not even close to how he feels about them i just can't believe we are the same like he says because that's just untrue

[dumb-k1tten]

tbh i'm kinda pissed off at myself for letting this affect me this much when it was something that i knew already

[dumb-k1tten]

stop acting like that when you don't mean it

[dumb-k1tten]

you wanted to know what you could do to help here it is

[dumb-k1tten]

i wanna throw up

[dumb-k1tten]

stop acting like that when you don't mean it

[dumb-k1tten]

and it's about to happen all over again

[dumb-k1tten]

and it's about to happen all over again

[dumb-k1tten]

not really tho and that's the worst part he doesn't miss me or needed me at all

[dumb-k1tten]

at times like this i miss him more than i hate him

[dumb-k1tten]

nvm i need him dead like now

[dumb-k1tten]

idk what to do so i guess i'll just take this to my grave or wait until i can't take it anymore because i know myself and i know it'll explode at some point

[dumb-k1tten]

i wish i could just ask him to watch some sxf or mob psycho and i could go sleep over and forget about this for a little bit

[dumb-k1tten]

at times like this i miss him more than i hate him

[dumb-k1tten]

but i do wish i could just comfort him normally and that he would rely on me more... but he already has someone he likes more and is his emotional support in that way so i'll just do what i can which is sex

[dumb-k1tten]

i think i need a real partner because being like this makes me feel bad tbh but i don't wanna stop talking to him and i don't want him to grow any distant so if all i can do to help him is sex let's do this idk

[dumb-k1tten]

idk how to deal with that tbh