What gifts Monsta X would give you for Valentines Day!
Happy Valentines Day, Dumbebes!
You were getting ready to leave the house, it was Valentines Day and you had planned to surprise your boyfriend, Hyunwoo. Fool, he’s the leader he’s always going to be one step ahead. You noticed a small piece of crumpled, red paper that had been forcefully shoved under the small space below your door. Picking it up it, you instantly recognized Hyunwoo’s writing. “To my MOST significant other, Your Name x.” Flipping the small card, it read, “I.O.U. for (1) Valentine.” That’s it, that’s the card.
“Are you ready for your Valentine surprise?” Wonho asked you winking. You were sat on your shared bed, nodding your head eagerly, excited to see what he had planned. That’s when he whipped it out....a gym pass? What? This wasn’t what you had expected...at all. In answer to your bewildered gaze, Wonho explained, “You’re always saying we need to spend more time together...and I’m always saying you need to dedicate every waking moment to loving monbebe...” It’s true. Whether he was taking selfies for 45 minutes or exercising 5 times a day, he was always off doing something for monbebe. But when you said you and he needed to spend some time together, you had expected him to maybe set aside some...ahem...alone time. “So I figured, what better way for us to spend time together than molding our bodies into peak physical performance for monbebe!” Speechless, you sat gaping at him. Mistaking your silence for unbridled joy, he ran over and hugged you. “This is going to be so much fun!”
“Close your eyes and put out your hands, babe.” Your boyfriend told you. You excitedly anticipated what he was going to give you, a ring? A necklace? Hah you’re on the wrong blog sweetheart. There was a short pause, and afterwards, you heard a soft “blah” sound as you felt him place something in your hands. Why is it sticky. Unable to feel what it was, you opened your eyes, nervously. There it was. A sticky handful of skittles. I... There’s definitely teeth marks in them... Oh my god did he just...
You had woken up to a text from your perfect boyfriend, Kihyun. “Happy V Day” it read. God, he really knew how to get you going. You replied to him and got on with your day. However, it had been a week and Kihyun still hadn’t replied or answered any of your calls. You assumed he was busy but began to worry. That’s when a pretty, little, neat package with a dainty bow was delivered to your apartment. You smiled, knowing it was from Kihyun. You carefully unwrapped it. There was a little card with Kihyun’s writing on it. It read “Put this on, sexy ;)” You blushed and smiled to yourself as you reached to hold up the contents. It was a T-shirt. It read “Hi, I’m single.”
You ran excitedly into the kitchen to wish your boyfriend, Hyungwon, a happy Valentines Day! He stopped you, however, before you had a chance to say anything, handing you a glossy picture of his face that he had just signed with a sharpie. You looked at it, then back at him, then back at it, then back at him. Then he grabbed your hand and gave you a firm handshake before walking directly out of the room. Omg....you got to touch Chae Hyungwon!!1!1!
"I'm sorry I can't be there for Valentine's Day," Jooheon's voiced crackled over the phone. You knew he was busy being ridiculously talented and handsome in a completely different country, but sometimes it was hard to deal with, especially on commercial holidays. Sigh. "It's okay, Jooheo–," "Joohoney. It's Joohoney now," he reminded you. "Yes...It's okay, Joobert. We'll see each other soon." You heard a sniffle from the other side of the phone before he blurted out, "I need you to go outside right now." Confused, you obliged and went over to your front door. You opened it to find a medium sized gift box, weighing approximately .0015 metric tons. It had been out there for over an hour judging from the the temperature of the box. It was wrapped in pink wrapping paper with a red ribbon. Before you could really analyze the package, though, Jooheon cut in, "I got you something to express how I feel about you." Intrigue piqued, you tore open the wrapping to find....a teddy bear? You could hear him breathing heavily before he whispered, "Do you like it?" Your mouth was dry. "It...it says..." "Shit bitch you is fine! Haha, yeeahuhhh. Joohoney one hunnid...blrrrrrah."
Valentine’s Day: a day that you had been both anticipating and dreading. Why? Well, let’s just say it had something to do with your boyfriend, Changkyun. It all started a couple weeks ago when he began dropping hints that he was getting you something big for Valentine’s Day. As the weeks turned into days, however, you noticed that things seemed to be...shifting. In fact, all of your furniture was moving slightly to the left. When you confronted him about it, Changkyun merely scoffed and said, “I told you, I’m getting you something big.” Fear jingle-jangled your insides for three more days until it was finally The Big Day. In the first blissful moments upon waking, you had forgotten all about your boyfriend’s plans...until you noticed he wasn’t in bed. Jumping out of bed, you blindly ran into the living room. This was your mistake. “Oomffh,” you bellowed as your squiggly human body slammed directly into the back of the couch, limbs flailing helplessly when you tumbled backwards. Since when was the fucking couch in the middle of the hallway? Wait... You winced as you climbed over the couch, turning the corner into the living room. Oh, no. There you were, face to face with Changkyun, as he stood excitedly next to....a leopard print couch. “Ta da! It’s your big thing!” he exclaimed, but you were still disoriented from the previous couch attack. “W....what....I thought...ring..,” you mumbled before grabbing your stomach in pain. “Babe...rings aren’t big. You know that...” he stated, leading you to sit on the couch. You nodded. He was right, you did know that. When you were finally seated, he began smiling again, exclaiming, “So?!” You didn’t know what he was expecting. “Really? Nothing? Don’t notice anything” You shrugged, trying not to heave on the new couch. He was fuming. “You always complain about my spot on the couch and now you don’t even notice when it’s not there!” “What are you ta-” but you cut yourself off. His spot....where he sits his bare ass down on the couch like a mongrel.....His ass print! He got rid of the ass print! You were so happy, you began to sob, “Your ass....your ass is gone....Oh, Changkyun!” You then puked on him and the new couch. Inconsiderate.
