Weedboiii Void | 7. Say What You Mean
Summary: Royal is a patient at Eichen House. Colin happens to be, too. But this mysterious boy is more than just fake blonde hair and weed.
He's also the voice in his head.
Lawson makes the first play. Determined and practiced. Grinning at the other two around the table rather proudly as Colin is forced to make his move.
Colin glances at the table suspiciously for a moment before his eyes flick to Royal.
She says nothing. Only stares. Lets him attempt to decipher her true feelings.
She imagines he's quite surprised to see her. Acting rather friendly, given the circumstances. She wonders if Void has talked to him since. Or if he only talks to her now.
She wonders if Colin's intentions align with Void's. If they're on the same team, working in tandem to lure her into their game of trickery.
Something tells her, however, that they're not.
She's not sure if this should worry her or relieve her.
"What happened with Ms. Morrell?" Lawson asks as Colin contemplates his next move.
Colin shrugs, narrowed eyes finding the board. "I don't know. She talked. I ignored her."
Royal feels her expression fall with disappointment as she studies him.
"Did she mention The Cage?" Lawson asks next as he moves his Queen forward.
"Yeah." Another shrug. "Said they can't help me if I don't help myself."
His tone is mocking, and she picks up on the condescension within an instant. "Well, isn't she right?"
He looks to her now, unamused. "Don't think any of it fucking matters, anyway."
He pauses. "Cause I'm already dead."
For a moment, she's not quite sure what he means. Maybe he means Void. Maybe he means his time in Eichen House. Maybe he means his life outside.
Either way, she feels the tinge of anxiety tug at her heart. "Well, isn't that what you wanted?" She forces herself to appear indifferent. Uninterested. "Wanted the voice to kill you?"
He leans back as Lawson flicks his stare between them, clearly caught off-guard. "Doesn't really matter what I want, does it?"
"It does if you have a chance to change it."
"I don't." His volume rises as he places his forearms on the table and leans forward. "You don't know him like I do, Royal."
"I think I do," she corrects, head cocking to the side as she offers a pointed look. "You made sure of that."
The three sit quietly around the table before Lawson clears his throat and thrusts his chin forward. "Col, your turn."
But Colin doesn't move quite yet. He keeps his stare on Royal as a frown finds its way to his lips. Then, he reaches for a pawn and moves it forward, forcing Lawson to groan as his King is knocked off the board.
He clearly doesn't plan to respond, so Royal clears her throat and straightens up. "Maybe there's another way."
"I don't want another way," he says within an instant. "This is it. The end of the fucking line."
"Says everyone." His teeth are gritting as he looks away. "And I wouldn't think you'd care—"
"Well, I do." She surprises herself with how quickly the truth slips out. Surprises him, too. "I don't know why, but...I do. And I think I know how to fix it."
"I don't want to fix it."
"Because I don't fucking deserve it."
Truthfully, she can't quite argue with him, but her arms cross, nonetheless. "Maybe not. But I still think you should try."
"Why?" His icy stare turns to her. "Why would I wanna keep myself alive when death would feel so fucking good?"
Poor Lawson has nearly given up on the game, chin in the palm of his hand, looking between them as if watching a tennis match.
"Because being free would feel so much better," Royal argues with a scoff, as if that should be obvious. "Unless what you're really trying to say is that you don't want to let him go."
His lip turns up in disgust, leaning back as if she'd slapped him. "Is that what you think of me?" His tenor is venomous, nearly causing her confidence to falter. "That I'd be so fucking weak to rely on something as pathetic as that thing to save me?"
The moment the threat leaves his mouth, she feels the dark fog finds its way back into her mind, signaling Void's return.
He's upset with the way he's being spoken about.
But if Colin feels his presence too, he doesn't let on.
"That I'd rely on a fucking virus to bring me some peace? That I'd need him to show me what to do? That I'd listen to a fucking thing he has to say?"
"Didn't you?" She asks the question before she can stop herself. "Didn't you give him exactly what he wanted?"
"He'll never get what he wants," Colin hisses, the cadence in his tone so threatening, she feels her heart drop. "You don't know anything about what I've done to survive."
"You aren't surviving." She swallows the fear before it can make itself known. "You're slipping away. You're dying, Colin, and if you'd just—"
"And you think I should listen to you instead?' A bitter laugh, his head shaking as Lawson's brows raise. "Think you know this fucking thing better than I do?"
They both still at Void's entrance. Colin, although giving little to no reaction, pulls his fingers into a fist in outrage.
"See?" he mumbles viciously, nodding his chin at her. "Never fucking stops."
You'd do well to listen. She offers a deal I cannot refuse.
A subtle grimace on Colin's face as he glances away, refusing to acknowledge the request.
"Col?" Lawson leans forward now, fingers gently finding his arm as he glances over his friend's profile. "You all right, mate?"
"M'fine," he seethes, jaw clenching as he flinches away from the touch before abruptly standing to his feet.
He reaches out, moving a piece toward the middle of the board as he murmurs, "There. You win."
With that, he turns on his heel and strides for the door.
Startled, confused, and somehow even more agitated than when they started, Royal leaps to her feet and takes off after him, calling a quick apology to Lawson who simply blinks at the game as he struggles to catch up.
The blonde-haired boy has already disappeared into the hallway by the time she manages to catch up, slipping through another doorway as she hisses his name.
"Col—Colin." He won't turn around. Won't even acknowledge her behind him, and this forces her steps to become quicker. "Hey."
She huffs to herself as she follows his trail before suddenly colliding with his chest once they make it into an empty, unused room.
His fingers find her arm as he yanks her all the way inside, using his elbow to thrust the door shut.
"The fuck do you think you're doing?" he seethes, tossing her back as if he can't bear to touch her. "What, you're conspiring with it now?"
Her lashes flutter as she attempts to regain her balance, palming meeting her skin where his touch had been. "No, I just—"
"I leave you alone for one fucking night and you've already planned my fucking execution?" He's outraged, voice coarse and vile.
"Oh, you're a 'we' now, huh?" Another contempt-filled laugh. "I fucking knew it. Slides his way between your legs and suddenly you'll do anything he asks, yeah?"
She can feel her lungs constrict with the rage that follows his demeaning comment, her hands finding his chest as she shoves. "Last time I fucking checked, you were the one doing what he asked, were you not?"
"That's not what he asked." The admittance is hissed as if Colin himself is outraged at the accusation.
Royal leans back, a bit startled by his outburst. "No? Then what is it he needed your cooperation for?"
A beat. The truth appearing behind his eyes but not appearing on his lips.
She waits, hoping he'll finally clue her into his true intentions, once and for all.
His shoulder rolls back as he makes an aggravated noise. "S'not important—"
"It is," she argues instantly, expression hardening. "And you know it."
He's afraid you won't like the answer.
She feels the tremor run down her spine as Colin winces, recoiling away from her.
"I don't care," she tells them both, taking a step closer, her eyes on Colin. "Just tell me what he made you do, Colin."
I hardly see why it matters, Little Fox.
"I'm not talking to you." Her voice is clipped. Short. "I'm talking to him."
Colin's focus remains on the floor before it lifts to find her. "He's right, it doesn't matter now—"
"It matters," she repeats, more forcefully than she had intended, but rather pleased with herself for remaining composed. "It matters because I was starting to trust you and I'd fucking hate to see that go to waste."
He scoffs again. Louder. Turning away as he shakes his head and looks out into the empty room. "Oh, yeah. That'd be fucking tragic, wouldn't it?"
She straightens up. Braces herself. "It would. I think we could both use the company in a place like this."
"I don't need your company. Got enough fucking company already," he retorts, and she's reminded of the fog still ever-present in her mind.
It's almost as if she can feel it bristle. Annoyed with Colin's tone.
"I think you could use someone on your side," she corrects, and she notices him still. "You want to get rid of him, right? Well, I can help you. As long as you help me—"
"Help me? You wanna help me?" He repeats her question as if he can't even fathom such a proposition. Muscles tensing as he turns back to her. "And why the fuck would you wanna do that?"
She doesn't let herself flinch at his aggression, simply taking a step closer to him as his eyes flick up and down her frame suspiciously. "Because you don't have anybody else. And even you don't deserve this."
Don't waste your breath, Little Fox. Our pathetic little sycophant doesn't understand the gift he's been given.
"Oh, yeah?" Colin snorts, head turning away as he speaks to the voice. "What fucking gift?"
A pause. The seconds crawling by just as the eerie feeling crawls along her skin. And then—
She'd likely be flattered if it didn't almost sound like a threat.
And Colin takes notice of this as well, his frown deepening as his lip pulls up in a look of disdain. "Funny. You don't treat her like a gift."
He sneers the word as if it tastes bitter on his tongue, which she doesn't doubt that it does.
But she brushes the comment aside, moving closer to him once more. "Colin. I need you to work with me. I need you to trust me."
He regards her for a moment, his chest rising and falling with the soft breaths he's taking. "Why the fuck are you doing this?"
His hands begin to raise into the air, flailing about as he attempts to verbalize his confusion. "This. Trying to fucking help me and shit. Being nice to me."
She leans back, lashes fluttering. She had debated being honest. But she supposes there really isn't a point in hiding now.
"Because I'm already dying."
His brows pull together as his eyes narrow in suspicion, head tilting slowly as he waits for her to elaborate.
And she does, with a soft bob of her shoulder. "I'm already dying. I'm already in pain. And alone. If I become his host, nothing really changes. And, you know...you don't deserve to die because of him."
She notices a twinge of sadness behind his eyes, but it disappears before she can call it out.
"So, as long as you're honest with me...I want to help," she finishes, voice softening as he seems to mull this over. "And like you said...you have nothing to lose."
More silence as the seconds pass, her heart hammering inside her chest as she waits. For what, she's not quite sure. She supposes she wants his help. Supposes she wants a friend.
His teeth scrape together as he sighs, "I agreed to let him use me to talk to you. Just to talk to you. But he never fucking said that fucking you would let him into your mind."
Her pulse races, her skin growing hot. "Oh."
His head shakes, eyes squeezing shut. "I just...I thought...I thought maybe you'd be able to understand him. It. That if you talked to it, you'd find its weakness, like you said."
"Right," she can't help but agree. Because he's right. She had agreed to talk to Void.
"But...then—" He sucks in a sharp breath, cheeks flushing as if he can't bring himself to reveal the rest, and her stomach flips. "Then it just...he kept goading me. Kept saying a bunch of shit about you and I couldn't...I didn't—"
"What did he say?" She sounds rather desperate, but perhaps she is. Desperate to know what Void thinks of her. What Colin truly thinks of her.
Another beat. He takes in a deep breath. Holds it. Studies her. Looks for any fear or judgment. "He...after you sent him away. The first time, he...he just kept telling me how good you felt. How needy you were."
She swallows the lump in her throat, eyes widening as he looks to the ground.
"And I could...I could feel it," he murmurs. "I could feel what he felt. How you felt. In my hands. Could taste you. Could feel what it felt like when he...when he took your pain. How fucking...good it felt. Taking it. Taking you. Consuming you."
A thickness to his voice forces a blush to her cheeks. A visual in her mind of that night now replaying in her head.
She imagines she should be aghast. Offended and outraged that he went behind her back just because she felt good.
And yet...she steps closer to him. As if she physically needs the proximity to survive.
"Did it?" she whispers as if desperate to hear him say it once more. "Did it feel as good as you wanted it to?"
She's not sure she even knows what she's saying. Or why.
And yet, the moment she's reminded of the blissful pleasure she felt with him on that tattered couch, she can think of nothing else. Can want nothing else.
His breath hitches as he looks down at her. "Yes," he admits, tone so low she nearly misses it.
She nods, taking this in before moving even closer and letting her knuckles brush his. He visibly tenses but doesn't pull away, and she wonders why. Wonders why this feels so right.
"What are you doing?" he murmurs now, a slight edge to his question, but she isn't deterred.
"I don't know." The admission comes easily. Because it's true. She doesn't know what she's doing or why, but she also doesn't plan to fight it. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No." It's whispered into the air so urgently that she feels her knees go weak. The gentle strain of his muscles as he attempts to collect himself doing sinful things to her body and mind. "I just...I don't think you want..."
The air seems to thin the moment that familiar voice invites himself into their tender moment.
And she had assumed it would spook Colin. Force him back into the shadows of his denial, but instead, he reaches out to grab her arm.
He shoves her back against the door, almost violently as he seethes, "Don't."
Her lips part, ready to question him, until she realizes who he's really speaking to.
And surprisingly, Void has no response. No argument for the blonde boy. It's as if he concedes to Colin's request and she can't help but feel a bit shocked.
Colin's forehead dips until it can rest against hers, and the rather delicate gesture has her reeling.
"Do you trust me?" he asks her now, his voice but a gentle whisper, and she exhales a shaky breath at the dangerous undertone slipping through.
She wonders if she should trust him. If Colin is really so different from Void.
Or if it even matters at all.
"I do." The coil in her stomach tightens as he nods once, seemingly pleased. "I do, I trust you."
His hips find hers, keeping her trapped against the door as if he thinks she'd really go anywhere else. "Good."
And maybe she should be concerned at how quickly she slipped into this drunken state of lust and desire.
But maybe she just doesn't give a shit.
And with that thought in mind...
~ Weedboiii Void | 6. Let's Make a Deal