Claire Keane

@theartofmadeline
DEAR READER
RMH
Xuebing Du
Jules of Nature
Today's Document
Monterey Bay Aquarium
No title available

Janaina Medeiros
hello vonnie
ojovivo
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
almost home

Product Placement
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
No title available

Kiana Khansmith
i don't do bad sauce passes
seen from United Kingdom
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@nottakenseriously
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????
when u see it u turn 360 degrees and walk away
turning 360 degrees would face you right back to the xbox you dipshit
this post somehow still in circulation despite everyone involved being deactivated
even you
Even me
what’s wrong with les mis
victor hugo failed in his duty to visit a psychic before writing it who would have warned him that 150 years in the future his decision to include nine shippable twinks as minor characters in his magnum opus would lead to the development of one of the most insufferable fandoms of the twenty first century
As soon as the pearly gates close he'll come back and ask them to be open again
PATREON
Yep, I made a frutiger aero soft soap alien… 💧🐠🤍🫧🧼
The cleanomorph
saw fans, on their hands and knees: please please please focus on the established beloved characters of this franchise
saw: The year is 1910 anf youve been invited to the lab of Dr. Bartholomew Crazy
british money’s called “quid”, short for liquid, which used to be the official currency. any liquid. “as long as it splash we use it for cash”- old british saying
The term “bank” comes from this too, as people would go down to the river banks to collect more quid
The wealthy would store their quid in large tanks, and they would place sharks (which are smooth) in there to guard it
Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce
tweet sequence of a not-quite-friend and artist i admire that i find myself thinking of constantly
do you think the people who would build a rent reducer 9000 are the same people who are building houses
you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?
can i fucking help you?
This shit reads like a tumblr post
the beach that. makes you dead