🚬 Lucky Strike @dymaxiion - Tumblr Blog

World of Refreshment - Nuka World

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#⚙⎡ nothing better than the smoke of a gun and the shine of steel ⎦( aesthetic )#queue

dutylost: DANSE

Part of him – a very large part of himself – wants to reach out for Jamie; to solidify the contact that somehow felt like a chasm between them. A rift that was growing more and more – a pain and a hollowness that had harbored after Jamie’s death –… after River had told him, in distress, what had happened. AND WHAT SHE HAD DONE. Perhaps … perhaps Danse was a more selfish man than he remembered himself to be; because he couldn’t find in himself to reprimand River for being foolish – no, instead, he was relieved. Relieved that she had thought quickly enough to try and save him. He watches Jamie from where he sits – instead of reaching out, as if he was afraid that it wasn’t his place anymore ( anxiety was still a new feeling for the former paladin – one he did not like, one that did not stomach well ). He merely soothes his finger over the raised portions of Jamie’s old and worn dog tag. “ - talk to me, Jamie..” he breaths. It was a request, that sounded close to a plea. Close to one, but still inklings short of being a true plea from the other man. HE HAD BEEN SO AFRAID, even after they were told it would work – even after they transferred over his subconscious. And, he realizes with a start – around the same time he realized his voice shook – he is still afraid.

HE HEARS those words, it’d be impossible not to given the sense of urgency Danse seems to carry around with him as he speaks. It’s unbearable. He’s being SELFISH trying to keep himself quiet, but his mind is still reeling from the moment. WHAT WAS IT supposed to be like for him?

NOW THAT HE WASN’T HIMSELF ANYMORE

He shouldn’t be feeling this way, he remembers all the time and effort he put into trying to pull Danse back from the brink after he was ostracized by the Brotherhood. HE REMEMBERS every detail of it as though it was yesterday. it’s an uncomfortable feeling of karmic justice for him to be paying the price for his years of service to a group with NO sense of remorse. It was times like this that he missed THE LYONS’ BROTHERHOOD most. He lets out a strained breath momentarily before hiding his face, CURLING UP tightly into himself as he desperately attempts to distract himself.

“I...”

HE ATTEMPTS to give Danse what he asks for, it’s unfair for him to COMPLETELY cut the lines of communication simply because he’s feeling impossibly constrained by his current circumstances. THIS ISN’T RIGHT.

He doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

THE BROTHERHOOD bested him, all because he cared more about helping the MINUTEMEN rather than keeping his own head clear of the guillotine. BUT THAT’S WHO HE WAS.

The minutemen deserved better, and he couldn’t in good conscience give HALF OF HIMSELF to a cause so noble.

“I don’t know...”

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#dutylost

wvkong-deactivated20150715

Send ∅ for my muse's opinion about yours.

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#meme

wolf-at-worlds-end: RAS

It had been almost a year since he had last spoken to Jamie, a lifetime in the world’s current state; how quick everything changes and yet how some things remain unwavering with time. Raserei was one of those foolishly stubborn things refusing to move on, stuck always in his suffering. A cage of his own design.

Odin didn’t like the stagnant, but somethings Raserei felt needed to be held onto.

It was good to see Jamie, but it was clear he was not the same and something stirred under, but he does not say anything. Raserei waited for Jamie to speak first and decide from there what should be said, no need to waste time on useless words.

“Adversity, you act like I am at war with something. Am I? Is there something you know that I do not? I would like to know if something is pitted against me.”

The giant grinned, “Besides have not found the death I saw.”

So naturally, everything was bound to fall before him.

“But what of you?”

“Things are PERHAPS as they should be...”

A STRETCH from the truth that he’s not exactly comfortable admitting but he can sympathize with perhaps being used to the way the world works right now, he huffs quietly, crossing his arms A SMALL grin still on his face as he nods a bit taking in the words he says. Admittedly he’s not exactly UNHAPPY at the moment but as of late, his life had been throwing him for a loop ( HE HATED surprises nowadays ).

“Are we not all at war? The Commonwealth is not exactly what I’d consider a paradise I’m afraid.”

THE BITTERNESS slips out just a little bit through his words as he considers the possibility that maybe he SHOULD be a little more forward with Ras than he currently is. HE WAS a no-nonsense type after all, which was something Jamie always appreciated. Shoulders roll a bit before he glances back into the settlement momentarily before nodding idly.

“As far as I SEE it there is but one threat still left unchecked, and it’s quite a difficult one to deal with I’m afraid. But that’s a conversation for another time. I’d much prefer hearing of your travels since I’ve last seen you. Have you encountered any interesting jobs or has it been something more akin to business as usual?”

IT’S ALMOST ironic for him to say that considering where they were and WHAT life was like these days. ESPECIALLY in the wake of the Institute’s demise.

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#wolf-at-worlds-end

aoimabuchi-deactivated20200301

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#⚙⎡ the last mcleod: lt. jamie mcleod lawson ⎦( visage )

@iinxsearchofxisolde

“...something’s happened.”

HE DOESN’T really have the heart to say it out loud...at least not as of right now. He’s still trying to cope with the change––––more than most perhaps. He hasn’t seen much of anyone for nearly a year and having resurfaced it’s CLEAR things have changed dramatically. He’s not proud of it, but it’s better than pretending that hiding will make everything all better.

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#iinxsearchofxisolde #have some post-synth jamie stuff

@wolf-at-worlds-end

HE ISN’T sure what he should say. TEN MONTHS of solitude had left him torn up inside & out. He hadn’t reached a state of peace yet either thus making his time a lot more difficult. His mind had effectively derailed and now all that mattered was making Maxson PAY for what he’d done. Shoulders slump for a minute before a hand pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes rubbed in the process before he speaks ever so softly.

“I’ve not seen you recently...it’s good to see you’re still up and kicking. I never doubted that you would be though. I’ve always admired your resilience in such...adversity as the Commonwealth.”

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#wolf-at-worlds-end #lets get ready for some post-synth Jamie angst ;)))

@lyoniiisms

“I do not sleep much these days.”

HE DOESN’T SLEEP AT ALL, especially since the forced shift from Man to Synth was so drastically thrust upon him. He knew River was just trying to do the right thing but he was still feeling himself lose his grip with each passing day. Something still felt off and he wasn’t sure HOW MUCH LONGER he’d be able to sustain these feelings of harrowing doubt.

HE SNAPS out of his otherwise distracted state before speaking to her once again.

“You came all the way from the Atom Cat’s garage, is everything alright?”

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#lyoniiisms

So thinking about Jamie as a synth recently, I’ve realized a few important details about who he is and WHY he chooses to keep going despite everything he’s gone through, everything that he’s had to deal with and where he ends ups standing when all is said and done.

First: It’s very very important to understand; Jamie NEVER wanted things to end this way. He may not have hated synths as a human, but he took pride ( however deeply internalized it might have been ) in being a human, and being reduced to a ‘machine’ by the brotherhood is a difficult pill for him to swallow. He had hoped that he would have died and moved on into the afterlife he always claims he ‘doesn’t believe in’.

Second: Jamie doesn’t continue to live because he is made stronger by the experience. Make no mistake, after nearly a year of solitude and near constant silence on his end, he is NOT better. He is merely back to a state where he can be functioning as a man, but he is NOT ok. He is very much different than from when he was a human. Perhaps not in personality, but in general mind set and behavior he has made a shift that will come out in time,

Third: Jamie doesn’t take this second chance at life as a ‘chance to make his life mean more’, no he takes it as an opportunity to boil and burn the fires of his need for vengeance that he once sedated when he was a human. By this point in the story Maxson has pushed him too far, and now instead of being QUIETLY against the brotherhood, he takes a more active & vocal role in advocating for the Brotherhood’s downfall. He ends up forming a small battalion of elite minutemen soldiers who do some of the more intense and difficult missions in the name of the Minutemen to both bring sanctity back to the Commonwealth and prevent the Brotherhood from growing their influence in the Commonwealth.

Fourth: The final, and perhaps most important part of this is that I’ve finally recognized the change in Jamie’s storyline. If you take Jamie’s first part of canon, pre-synth canon, and try to determine what exactly it is his story is ABOUT, then you’ll come to the conclusion that Jamie’s story is about Justice and redemption. About making up for past injustice and bring back honor that was lost. It seems noble but in my mind pre-synth Jamie is incredibly selfish because the only REAL person he looks out for is Danse. He is willing to do some rather cutthroat things to drag down the people who don’t fit his agenda. However post-synth Jamie sees things differently. He’s by no means perfect. He’s full of anger and bitterness. He hasn’t coped wit any of the things in his past and now he’s forced to tackle another QUITE LARGE change that has polarized the life he’s leading. Much of Jamie’s 10 month hiatus from the Commonwealth’s streets is spent contemplating. Contemplating how he’ll recuperate, how he’ll find himself living the life he once led in this bod that doesn’t even belong to him anymore. HOWEVER he becomes more selfless and far less focused on himself and his goals. Jamie deep down has always wanted to help the people of the Commonwealth no matter how ungrateful or crude they might be because he understands that what these people are dealing with ISN’T FAIR. So after he becomes a synth his story changes from being rather selfish for what HIS ideal Commonwealth is, and shifts to one of FINDING PEACE. After Jamie becomes a synth his exact words to Danse on the subject of his newfound fervor for destroying the brotherhood are these:

“I was killed. The Brotherhood effectively got the victory they wanted. But I am not the same man I was, and I am not going to same the same mistakes HE did. I won’t rest....I CAN’T be laid to rest...until I’ve wiped the Brotherhood’s stain from the Commonwealth. It isn’t right. And I intend on rectifying the things my old self could not.”

So we see a very distinct shift from who he was before everything went down. Previously he was staunch and focused on giving the Commonwealth the best solution in HIS opinion, no matter what the costs were. But after he’s become a synth he recognizes that he can never give the Commonwealth his BEST ending because it’s not his place to decide the fate of an entire land. All he can do is take away the ‘cancers’ that plague the Commonwealth’s shores. So you find that Jamie has almost become a wiser...and more self aware person as a result of his death. And while he might be better as a whole, he still has a long way to go before he finds the peace he’s subconsciously looking for.

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#⚙⎡ actions always speak louder than words; and those who do not listen are fools ⎦( character study )

[ OPEN ]

“...I’m fine.”

HE’S NOT. Visibly by the way he seems slumped over, burdened by the change that has come to pass, and now he stands quietly, eyes shut, donning his uniform again for the first time in nearly a year and it feels foreign to him.

“Truly. I am.”

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#open #this is post-synth jamie bee tee dubs

Here’s a starter call for ya boi, I’ll do these later uvu

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )

dutylost

YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M CONFUSED !!

i’m a machine who thinks like a human who was trained to hunt the very thing i’ve become . DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ?? everything i had , everything i knew is gone. in the span of a few hours, my IDENTITY was ripped from me and my world turned upside down .

indie & mutually exclusive paladin danse from bethesda’s fallout 4. post blind betrayal. spoiler heavy. est 7/17/17. rebooted 04/29/18.

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#⚙⎡ the brotherhood is gone: we are minutemen: a militia: now ⎦( promotion )#bless #the apocalypse husbands are back

dutylost: DANSE

@dymaxiion

He felt exhausted – and he probably looked it as well. River had come to him once or twice and tried to demand him to rest; they didn’t know how long it would take Jamie to wake up – but, he had waved her off several times mutely. He felt GUILTY, even if he knew logically there was no blame on his shoulders. He hadn’t been with Jamie when it happened, and he hadn’t even known about it until it was too late. There was a sharp twist in his gut whenever he thought about it ; a nausea that made him feel ill –… A thumb ran across the silver of one Jamie’s aged dogtags from the Brotherhood ; merely something to keep him busy – something to keep his hands occupied in the hours that drug on into the night ; into the early morning. Until his eyelids were burning and his body was heavy with weariness. He felt like drifting – he felt like giving in – until there was a shift, a stir, from the bed and his eyes were snapping up ; aware and awake once again, “Jamie?”

HE’D BEEN curled in a ball. Restless and incapable of thinking...speaking...listening.

HE HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN.

He doesn’t even know what to say. He’d been up all night and the moment Danse left the room, EVEN FOR a split second he’d found himself hiding in the corner of his bed, curled into a ball, EYES basically glazed over from the concept of having to discuss the night’s recent events. River had been in tears...and then it was COLD. Lo and behold he woke up to find he wasn’t...HIMSELF anymore. He was doomed for eternity and there’s not hope for him in this brave new world.

SOFT WHISPERS pass his lips, SIGHS really, nothing more. He knows Danse is there but he can’t bring himself to speak so instead he tightens his grip on the pillow and TENSES up, curling into himself tighter. Danse is there...

HIS GROUNDING force is there.

“...I’m here.”

DANSE deserved better than this. BETTER THAN HIM. Just a SHELL of who he used to be.

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ a brotherhood protects their own; but that is a promise that was forged in lies and broken in stone ⎦( main verse I: FALLOUT 4 )#dutylost

soft reboot imminent

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#me: awkwardly waves at u guys #hey so I might be booting Jamie back up #idk #Lucy is back soooo

synthmama: QUINN

“You have a system.” She repeats back flatly. “Meaning, that it’s happened before.”

The implication forces a smile out of her, if only to push aside the unease. Still, Quinn continues working. Oddly enough, the cover of a bartender is a good one, and one that still allows her to continue working her contacts and old feeds to leverage new information.

It doesn’t help that Jamie, too, is one of those contacts. Her response is nonverbal for a second, nothing more than a bended brow, before she lines up another row of glasses along the shelf.

“I’m almost done, actually. You sure it’s safe enough to talk out here?”

“Have I given you any reason to doubt that I can take care of business thus far?”

She’s STRESSED, that worry is something he can understand but it was exactly what’d cause more problems. There was so much to handle already he figured perhaps it’d behoove her to relax just a little bit and let herself take a breath. If nothing else it’d give him the time he needed to handle the situation before it even BECAME a situation.

“I promise you, this isn’t a problem. And even if it were, it’s not something you need to worry yourself over. You have more pressing matters to attend to do you not? Let me handle this.”

He’s NOT stern really, it’s more of a relaxed tone he takes. NIRVANA was his home turf so he was naturally more at ease here than anywhere else.

#⚙⎡ we’ll reclaim out destiny and set out future free ⎦( ic )#█◢◣⎡ i burn with the fires of spirits and souls lost to the hearth of legend ⎦( MODERN FANTASY )#synthmama #@quinn: pls breath

blue-eyed-devils-deactivated202

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#⚙⎡ the last mcleod: lt. jamie mcleod lawson ⎦( visage )

dymaxiion

I’m waking UP, I feel it in my BONES Enough to make my SYSTEMS blow Welcome to the new age, to the new age Welcome to the new age, to the new age Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive

I raise my FLAGS, don my CLOTHES It’s a revolution, I suppose We’ll paint it RED to fit right in Whoa

I’m breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the PRISON BUS

This is it, the APOCALYPSE

[ IND. PRI. HIGHLY SEL. FALLOUT OC ] [ Written by Joey ]

#⚙⎡ this is the civilian speaking ⎦( ooc )#⚙⎡ propaganda for a good cause and a brave soul ⎦( self promotion )

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

🚬 Lucky Strike