I don’t know how to explain that it’s not about wanting to die, it’s about wanting things to stop hurting.
like a room that never turns off its lights buzzing, humming, too loud even in silence and my skin is just where the noise lands.
people think it’s an ending I’m looking for but it’s more like a pause button on a life that keeps spilling over its edges.
I am not asking for nothing I am asking for less of everything at once for my thoughts to stop arriving like alarms for my chest to stop feeling like it forgot how to be still.
I carry days that feel too sharp to hold and I keep them anyway because I don’t know where else to put them.
and if I could translate it properly I would say: I don’t want to disappear I just want the hurt to leave the room first so I can finally breathe in it again.
