Earningsleep

I am a Canadian English teacher living in the UK. I'm avid reader, and a lover of music, movies, and TV (and the Oxford Comma clearly).  I think sports are amazing, and give people a stage on which to create beautiful narratives in the real world.  I think a good beer and a book is a great way to spend a night, and bad beer with best friends is even better.  I have OCD, and I keep a good handle on it, but even these days I can get a little anxious on a bad day.  I'm getting better at living in the real world, and seeing things for what they are, and not for what I want them to be.  And genuinely, genuinely, I think that you should do what you love the most, try things that make you uncomfortable, and most, most importantly, do not tell people what to do or who they should be.  Too preachy?  It might have gotten too preachy....

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The worst week of my life..

My dad had a stroke, and it’s looking so bad right now. I’m trying so hard to be strong for the rest of my family, but the truth is, right now they might be being strong for me. God I miss you right now dad. And my relationship ending on top of that? Fuck it’s been a long week.

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So much has gone on recently

And I have so much in my mind, and such a blend of emotions. Sometimes I wish people could just unfold into a painting or a map, and people could just see and understand everything you had going on inside. Appreciate the complexity, and all you were trying to be and to avoid.

It would be nice. Maybe that’s why I like tattoos. Little bit of silent expression.

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When you're cleaning your room and find your Van Gogh bookmarks and your ticket to Hogwarts.

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I am so sick of reading articles about presenters’ outfits.

Took 1 day and someone is commenting on the hemline of an olympic commentator’s skirt.  I literally hopes she comes out naked next time wielding a fucking dildo with the olympic rings on it.  I am so genuinely fucking sick of people acting like that is even remotely an issue, that a short skirt which shows fuck all, which basically, what, reminds us that she has legs and thighs and a vagina, is an issue.  It would not have changed my day in the fucking slightest if she wore trousers or a skirt.  It would not have changed my day in the slightest if she had pulled up her skirt and done the can-can while a group of breastfeeding women waved around thongs and bras behind her.  And it certainly would not bother me if a child of mine, because I imagine this must be some idiots argument somewhere, was watching this broadcast with me.  Maybe they can grow up understanding that certain parts of the anatomy don’t need to be shamefully covered, and that women are fucking people, and that we shouldn’t make them fucking uncomfortable just because we can’t fucking control, what, our imaginations?  Like we can’t sit and watch an Olympic broadcast without being distracted by a woman’s legs?  

I literally typed all of that in one fucking breath.  Fuck.

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The best part of working to start getting in shape these last 3 weeks has been the stretching.

The long walks have been fantastic, the first signs of muscle definition these last couple days have been great, but I never realized how criminally I neglected my flexibility.  I was able to actually touch my toes for the first time a couple days ago, and I was way too proud of myself.  I sort of just accepted that I was tall and skinny and was always going to be stiff, but I don’t get nearly as much pain in my knees and hips, and my posture is showing signs of improvement.

I actually look forward to the stretching after a workout now.  Kind of nice.

Still a long way to go, but three weeks, for me, is a decent start.

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All this photo tell me is I need to spend more time at the gym, and less time at the tattoo parlour,

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Any white people who don’t understand how horribly we’ve treated other cultures in Hollywood films..

You need to watch Ip Man 2.  It is genuinely a perfect role reversal.  Also a great movie.  But seriously, closest I’ve ever come to maybe sort of kind of feeling like I could understand how people of other cultures might feel when they are used as a caricature of themselves in our movies.

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I have watched “Make Happy” about 5 times now...

Fuck it’s brilliant.

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I haven't been in the habit of posting my tattoos anywhere, but I'm already quite fond of this one. Love my old school ink.

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Last one. In high school I told my girlfriend this was the best song ever. She still went out with me. Very luckily for me. There is no best song ever. I would never fucking claim that again in my life. Like what you like. There's a world of beautiful songs and art. Enjoy it all. Fuck I don't even think this is the best song they've written. But seeing them reminded me of when my eyes were opened to what music could be. What a beautiful set tonight. I'm a lucky guy.

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I can’t say enough about LCD soundsystem. They’re who I came for. James Murphy is a guy who just gets it. He’s been there. He’s ended up over the hill. Hes turned it into a song. If anyone was a musical hero of mine, it would be him. I love what he stands for, I love how he turned a genre on its head, and I love how he has been so modest about all the success he's had..

Everything he is about is in this song. And maybe “All My Friends”. Go listen to all my friends too

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I’ve been at a festival, and gotten very drunk with all the people I’ve befriended, and so am going to bombard you (you being the 5 people that follow me) with music.

I came for two bands that changed how I looked at music, and more on that in a sec, but fuck, Daughter was amazing. They’re so wonderful, and she was so genuinely grateful to be there.

They said right away that this wasn't a festival song, but it worked so well. The second verse is one of the most lovely bits of lyricism, even if the whole song ends up a bit melodramatic. Beautiful.

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I have been brave

This year I have: Moved to another country and started a new chapter of my life Gotten tattoos and found new means of self expression Travelled alone, been happy doing it Travelled with friends, been happy then too Loved honestly and completely, in a way that was fair to the other person for the first time in.. well a long fucking time Rediscovered my love for reading and writing, and with it, my patience and sense of wonder Been to festivals and tiny coffee shops Gotten high in Amsterdam Found new amazing ales and lagers, and cemented my douchebag status by falling in love with sloe gin Made new and interesting foods Worked the most challenging and rewarding job of my life Developed an honest understanding of what I want I have been brave as shit this year. For one post I'm happy to just remind myself of that. Happy Friday.

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Okay so..

Apartment officially moved.

Parents come and gone.

Good talk had with girlfriend.

Tattoo was.. Actually not until the 24th, so that one solved itself.

Stress levels.... Reduced.

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Things in my life right now..

Parents arriving tomorrow Tattoo appointment next Tuesday Just moved into a new house Girlfriend who clearly wants to stay here next year but is coming back for the sake of the relationship

So pretty boring stuff really.

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We all create our little corners of the world.

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Watching Norman Bates clean up after the shower murder in “Psycho”...

And all I can think of is John Mulaney talking about how easy it used to be to get away with a crime.  “We’ve found a pool of the killer’s blood... Gross.  Now back to my hunch.”