,_/`\_,

from the lowest valley to the highest peak; suggestions of soil and concrete.

[earthensuggestion]

thank you.

[earthensuggestion]

your safety & health is important. i may not post much anymore - but please know that i wish you the best. that someone out here supports you in this time of great need. the earth will always be proud of you - she will always love you. you are her pride and joy. you are an earthen child deserving of respect.

my wishes and prayer go out to those that will be negatively affected by this election. safety to those that need it.

[earthensuggestion]

growth is a continual thing.

[earthensuggestion]

this isn't all you are - nor is it all that you will be.

[tobiltop]

Hey friendos, i got a favor to ask.

I’m chronically ill and lately my pain levels have kept me bedridden, which means i can’t do the things i normally love like drawing and game building, and definitely cannot play Pokemon Go as i can’t currently walk more than a few yards for food before having to lie back down again.

I’m bored out of my mind and can’t get anything done without help, so i would like to humbly ask if anyone has a few spare dollars on hand so I can

1. Buy foods and snacks that are easy to prepare/reach, as I’ve been doing really poorly in actually feeding myself,

2. Have enough money for some kind of hair day or something of the sort for some self care, and

3. Maybe a couple bucks to spend on PoGo lures or incense otherwise I just won’t get to play ever.

I guess the last one isn’t that important, and really only the first one is important for my physical health, but I’d appreciate it none the less.

My email is [email protected]. normally I would try to take commissions but I can’t when i can’t even move from my bed :/ hopefully this is just temporary and I’ll be back on my feet soon, but for now thank you in advance for any donations and signal boosting anyone can do.

[earthensuggestion]

you deserve love. you deserve to be happy. you deserve kindness. you deserve these things no matter how much you wish to deny it.

[earthensuggestion]

you are doing fine.

[earthensuggestion]

take a deep breath as summer rain soaks soil and stone alike. come to appreciate the warm showers that keep gardens alive.

[earthensuggestion]

the burning of your feet on warm concrete in the late afternoon.

[earthensuggestion]

keep holding on. one day you will wake up to the sound of her voice.

[earthensuggestion]

sometimes all you want is closure.

[earthensuggestion]

even if your legs refuse to stand... even if you can’t move... you did what you could. be proud.

[earthensuggestion]

it’s fine. everything will be fine.

[earthensuggestion]

this may be the breaking point.

[earthensuggestion]

growth isn’t something you can force.

[earthensuggestion]

the reception of my “reclaim ugly” post has been wonderful. i love just reading through the tags on bad days & seeing how happy it’s made people. there were a few comments made however that i’d like to reply to - it’s true, doing the things written in that post aren’t possible for everyone for a myriad of reasons. not everyone can afford to wear whatever, look how ever. the post is just like any other post on this blog - a suggestion, and honestly something very personal to me. i’ve never been particularly attractive - i’m poor, i’m mentally ill, i’m just flat out not particularly good looking or charismatic. it’s rough constantly feeling like you aren’t good enough because of things you genuinely have little to no control over, and it’s worse knowing that you have to do things you either can’t or have very little inclination to do in order to be seen differently. i’ve never had the energy for makeup, or the money for nice clothes, or the time for straightening my hair - and we aren’t touching upon the physical characteristics of my body unalterable by conventional means, like my big nose.

there are a lot of other people who have clearly dealt with the same thing. in all honesty, i’ve had it better than a lot of other people. but we shouldn’t have to feel guilty for being considered ugly - it’s something we should revel in, at least occasionally. there’s no reason to feel bad for days where you don’t do your makeup, where you don’t put up your hair. you should be able to wear the clothes that make you happy without feeling like you’ve done something wrong. if the only jacket you have is a hand-me-down with patches and a hole in the pocket, why should you feel bad about wearing it? you don’t have to be skinny or white or have perfect, straight blonde hair to feel good about yourself.

and as much as i personally enjoy posts about how beautiful the above things are, it’s also nice to hear that it’s okay - great, even! - to simply... not be beautiful at all. to be plain. to be ugly.

it’s a silly thing, but i’m glad i wrote it, and i’m glad it’s helped people. even if you can’t afford to reclaim ugly, i hope on days you spend at home in your sweatpants with your hair in a big, messy bun, you’re happy. i hope you get to have days when you don’t have to do the things you don’t want to. i hope you get to relax and enjoy yourself as authentically as possible, and that you never feel guilty for it.

[earthensuggestion]

your friends are the forest you’ve grown in - their roots interlocking with yours. the most precious support you could ask for. help them grow as they help you.