Earth, Wind and Herpes

Hi! I'm a 20-something city girl who was diagnosed with HSV2 (aka genital herpes) in 2010 but who refuses to give up on the idea of love (and really good sex) despite it. I'm on a journey of self-acceptance, self-love and self-discovery. I have been chronicling my life relating to the virus and social stigma with the hope of creating a support system and hopefully being there for anyone going through the same thing since 2011. I'm no longer actively keeping up with the blog but I pop in once in a while. Feel free to check out the FAQs and the archives! According to the CDC, 1 in every 6 sexually active people ages 12 and up, has HSV2. One in every two will contract an STC (sexually transmitted condition) in their lifetime. Get informed, get educated and always use protection!Please check out the FAQs before submitting questions to make sure they haven't already been answered. :)Note: When asking questions, submitting stories, etc, don't use the word "clean" to refer to people without STDs, as it implies that those who do are "dirty". It's offensive and makes me uncomfortable. I won't answer your question if you use that term. For us to change the narrative and get rid of HSV stigma, we first have to change our own narrative and start by noting how we unconsciously propagate it ourselves. My email is [email protected] if anyone ever wants to email me. :)

[earthwindandherpes]

I’m not responsing to messages

Hi, just wanted to check in. The past 8 years (!!!!!) have been crazy. I started this blog when I had just been diagnosed and was a terrified 21 year old desperate for some reassurance that I’d be okay. I’m now on the edge of 30. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, got engaged, broke that off, started dating women and I’ve had plenty of really good sex in between.

HSV is not something I want to spend a lot of time thinking about because it just isn’t worth the stress and shame associated with it.

Due to this, I’m not really engaging with messages even though I read all of them - everything asked has been answered as-nauseum in the previously published asks. Please look them over.

I know that it might feel like a new diagnosis is the end of the world and you want someone to tell *you* specifically that things will be okay but I just don’t have the spoons to tell everyone the same thing all the time, forever. You won’t be the first to be diagnosed and you won’t be the last.

If you’re new to the HSV world, welcome and get ready for a journey in the less cheesiest way possible. Be ready to learn about yourself, your relationships and use it to launch yourself into a new version of yourself.

This will only limit you if you let it - there nothing wrong with you and you’ll be okay.

I wish you all the best and maybe I’ll see you around the next time I post (eta: ???).

Love and glitter,

EWH

[earthwindandherpes]

I found out I have HSV2 about 2 months ago and ever since I have been so depressed I dropped out of school, I’m on depression meds, i don’t even leave the house anymore. It really bothers me knowing the person I got it from used me, and lied. He told me he was 24 and really he was 32 and the best part was that he had a wife who also has it. I just feel so taken advantage of because I didn’t ask for this and I just feel like my life is ruined I’m scared to date and idk what to do btw I’m only 19

If you can, go see a therapist. Seriously. If your diagnosis causes you to sink so far into a depression that you can’t leave your house, then it’s a little bit bigger than just having trouble dealing with the news.

I can tell you it’s going to be okay until my head falls off, but it doesn’t mean you’ll believe it. You’ll get there, but everyone needs to get there themselves, unfortunately.

Stay strong, buttercup.

[earthwindandherpes]

I've discovered I have what I think are warts IN my vagina. Right at the very opening. The vag been very itchy, swollen, red and it hurts after I shower? For about a week now, but I just discovered the probabl warts tonight. My bf has HPV (from his mom at birth) and he's never been vaccinated. I have had my gardasil and booster shot in the last 4 years. Is it still possible for me to have genital warts, even tho I have my vaccinations? (I'm going to get std/sti tested tomorrow)

What happened?!

[earthwindandherpes]

I was just diagnosed with genital HSV1 yesterday and I am distraught. Im experiencing a HORRIBLE first outbreak. My doctor prescribed me Valtrex, and I was wondering if you would recommend asking for a daily prescription after this clears? I go to dental school, and am almost always in a stressed out state, which I hear can lead to multiple outbreaks. I guess I just dont know much about anything yet and am not sure what will trigger my OBs. Just looking for a little advice :(

Honestly, it just depends. Personally I think it’s common for people to start a daily prescription, even if it’s just for nerves and just to feel like you’re doing something. I took them for a few months when I first found out and it made me feel a lot more in control of the situation. In the long term it’s not that great of an idea unless you need it because you’re having frequent OBs, but you can reconsider once you’re feeling a little more grounded and calm. 

[earthwindandherpes]

I am a 45 year woman, divorced mother and professional. I was recently diagnosed with HSV2 a week ago. I feel bewildered and ashamed. I found a wonderful man and have been in a loving relationship since June of this year. I told him over the weekend about my diagnosis and he responded with love and acceptance.. so why am I depressed and feeling less than? Is it normal to feel like this?

Of course it’s normal. And you feel like that because even though he responded with love and acceptance, you still need that from the most important person: you.

A week is a very short time to expect full acceptance. Shit, it took me at least a year just to start dating again!

Be kind to yourself, you’re doing great. Remember that. :)

[earthwindandherpes]

I’m a 20 year old female and I just found out yesterday I tested positive for HSV2. I feel like this is the worst thing that could happen to me. and this is the lowest I’ve ever felt about myself in my life. before yesterday I would say I had very high confidence and now I feel like I can’t even talk to the opposite sex. And I feel like if I were to talk start talking to someone over a couple of weeks it would be deceitful to not tell them and wait for them to catch  feelings for me. and if I tell a person right away I have herpes they’re not going to stick around.  I feel like damaged goods, and that no one will want me. I think I’m still in shock because I can’t stop crying.  if there is anyone out there that can just talk to me about there experience and how they cope I would really appreciate it, 

thank you 

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I was 20 when I was diagnosed and I'm 28 now, with a long-term boyfriend who's proposing soon, a career and my own home, with 2 cats that love me too. I know right now it feels like the end of the world and you're going through hell, so keep going. The easiest way is through. 

I'm here if you want to talk. Also, here's the link to my story. I think you might find it comforting to know you're not alone.

[muppet4muppet]

The past can’t haunt me if I don’t let it Live and learn and never forget it

[earthwindandherpes]

Listen to this song. Seriously. Listen to it. “Had a boogieman under my bed Putting crazy thoughts inside my head Always whispering, "It's all your fault" He was telling me, "No, you're not that strong"

I know I'm always like Telling everybody you don’t gotta be a victim Life ain’t always fair, but hell is living in resentment Choose redemption, your happy ending's up to you

So, I think it’s time to practice what I preach Exorcise the demons inside me Whoa, gotta learn to let it go

The past can't haunt me if I don't let it Live and learn and never forget it Whoa, gotta learn to let it go“

[earthwindandherpes]

Hello! So i got diagnosed with hpv about a year ago and its pretty frustrating. I know I have it because trauma has made me easily manipulated, and I've been coerced into unprotected sex more than I'd like to admit. I know that literally everyone has or will have at least one form of hpv but its frustrating because the vaccine caused my fear of needles (which is not to say people shouldn't get it. I just got it when it was very new). But anyways I can't help but feel like I'm doomed

You’re not doomed, you just haven’t found your way out of the fog yet. You’ll get there, I promise. 

[earthwindandherpes]

Recently Diagnosed With HSV2

Well I just recently found out that I have HSV2. My boyfriend thankfully came back negative. But now he needs time to think. We had exchanged the “L” word, so I am in limbo. I can’t ask him to risk catching it, but I am hoping he stays.

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I hope he stays too. :)

[earthwindandherpes]

Hi, I just wanted to say that reading your blog has really make me feel so much better about having HSV 2 so thank you. I hope you don't mind me asking, but when did you tell your current partner about it? I've recently started seeing someone and unsure how to go about telling them (I think it needs some time, as I'd want to take things slow regardless of HSV). Thank you x

Just saw this! I told him two days after I met him. I wanted him to know upfront before I got attached, but he also studied biology so it wasn’t a big deal to him. Tell your partner when you’re ready but before you have sex or become too emotionally invested.

Have you told them already?

[earthwindandherpes]

I was peeing and I seen a couple bumps looked like it was a spider bite and I squeezed it and too little pimple like blackheads came out so could it be a spider bite because herpes is a liquid or pus I think right

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Wait what? It could just be a pimple. Herpes sores look like blisters filled with liquid.

Also, I really hope a spider didn’t bite your genitals, omg.

[earthwindandherpes]

Mannnn, I haven’t been on here in a long time!

I’m still around, I’m still with J and I still have HSV. Woohoo!

Hope all of you are doing awesome today!

[earthwindandherpes]

Please ignore this AMA if it's too much, but I just need someone to hopefully give me some advice. So on top of losing my job, getting in a car accident, and being completely broke, I just found out I got HSV2. I had to tell my girlfriend (we're in an open relationship), that not only can we not have sex anymore, but since I have a cold sore on my tongue we can't even kiss. We were in a whirlwind romance, so she hasn't even fallen for me yet. I'm so sore, sad, and alone right now.

Fuck, I’m so sorry. Life is really shitty sometimes.

Are things okay now!?

[earthwindandherpes]

Same 22 year old female as the last question. I have vaginismus. Which means my pelvic floor muscles act as a wall to any type of penetration. I can't have internal, vaginal sex. My whole life, I've only had/given oral sex. This is my first OB, as far as I know. So I must've contracted HSV 1, genitally. No one I have ever been intimate with has shown any signs of HSV 1 or 2. I don't know who gave it to me or when. How many sexual partners do I need to tell or ask about the situation??

Hmmmm, I don’t know actually. You could tell your recent (past year or two) partners to just keep a look out in case something comes up? 

[earthwindandherpes]

What city you from?

A city with trees, cars, houses and some other cool shit.

[earthwindandherpes]

I have been unfaithful to my wife and i was diagnosed with herpes yesterday. How do i tell my wife? I am so scared now. I could lose everything but i have seen these bumps before so i might have been a carrier for years

Tell your wife. With your words. (I don’t have much sympathy for cheaters, sry.)

[earthwindandherpes]

I have the confidence to post selfies when my herpes flairs up.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSKE1MDg22p/

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This is so freaking badass, I love it! Thanks for sharing!