Vent
School was the reason I was mainly depressed and constantly stressed. And now my mom just haunts me, lwk i hate how everything goes back to her. How all my problems are because of her. But i want her to be my mom still. I want her to care for me like actually care not just say she does. I want her to not lie to me constantly. I want her to like me. Not just love me, because you can love someone and not like them. She wants to be my best friend but i want my mom, i wish we could be best friends but she tells everyone everything. She used everything against me. I just wish all the happy moments could last, like going to the movies with her. There were good things that happened and thats what made me forgive her and forget about what she has done to me. Then it’d repeat. She’d get really mad at me or something and it would all crumble. Then she’d be nice to me for a bit. I realize the reason i flinch so much is because of her empty threats that shes gonna hit me and her actually doing it sometimes. And the moments she actually threw things at me. I just wish she would get therapy and get more mature emotionally. Find someone that was actually good for her. Because shes beautiful and she can find anyone she wants. She doesn’t need that man child. I get he has money mom but please.
Id get upset, her husband would get upset at that and take it out on her then she’d take it out on me. And the cycle would repeat. She seemed happier when adam isnt around. She acts like hes my parent. Hes not. He shouldnt make all the decisions for her. I wish all my parents would get their shit together. My dad should be more woke and actually realize everything that hes supporting isnt good. That my step-mom would actually support me and not act like she does, and be so close minded; and not yk talk shit about her kids infront of them, or where they can hear. That my step-dad would yk not have changed? Because he wasnt all bad, at the beginning he was good. I almost saw him as a dad, but i always kept distance.
Genuinely all of the woke kids should live together and just be happy away from their parents. Me, Kaylea, Riley, Sage, Kenzie.
Man i wish kenzie was more woke, i wish she wasnt so ignorant. I love her but the things she says hurts and she doesnt even realize it. I wish she escaped from that house rather then going back to it because she moved in with kay, then went back because she missed her mom. But her moms the problem.
Im glad i stayed away because i wanted to go back but i knew i couldn’t. It would of been bad. Even though i had to move away from my friends. And no one here at this place i live now feels real. I basically still have no friends even at work. Like sure they’re nice people.
Oh and my dad said he knew id get like that; that id want to go back. And said that i would probably go back or something so that pushed me to stay. But it hurt. Oh also dad said that my brother would be a better driver then me, and told him not to tell me. But my brother told me anyways. Like its probably true im not the best driver.
I just want to live with Kay, but i dont want to burden her. Everytime i go over there i feel like a leach.