eb

fiction kin stuff. i also just tend to ramble here! sorry. i’m 20!

[ectobiologics]

hi, i'm john or june!

i am 20. i like blue, the sky, video games, drawing, crappy programming, edm, writing, and other bullshit.

anybody is welcome to talk and stuff! it doesn't matter to me who or what you are. i would especially love to see the other beta kids, you guys are my best friends in the whole world. also vriska and karkat and terezi and roxy!! i miss you guys so much. it would be awesome to chat, even if i am not the john you remember. (if that makes sense.)

additional pylons:

hit me up or interact with my stuff whenever, i don't bite. promise!

i like and follow from a different blog, hopefully it is pretty obvious it's me!

i tend to be more chatty in groups! i am giving my official ectobiologist's endorsement to june's server (18+) because i talk there a lot.

i go by john both here and off line, it's my real name! but you can call me whatever. i like june, eb, gt, july, j or jj, ecto, and ghosty. also, anything i use elsewhere is cool too! get as creative as you want, haha.

if i take ages to respond, it is probably because i have adhd and it hates me. i have a really big problem with accidental ghosting (hehe), so feel free to double text.

sometimes i dont adhere perfectly to my typing quirk :p depends on how i feel

i'm still figuring it out, but i consider my canon very close to events as portrayed in the comic and eventually the meat epilogue.

i am not exclusively looking for others from the meat time line, though! and i don't need canon mates to align exactly with my perception of who they were/are. here are some less-abridged thoughts about that.

i am kind of new to fiction folk stuff. i've been like this for ~8 years, but i only learned there was a community for it recently. sorry if i fuck up.

i have like a bajillion other blogs that i use to sort stuff, so sorry if i freak anyone out by accidentally dog piling you with them.

oh yeah also any pronouns are fine. i don’t really care.

i am not a fictive or a system.

tags guide thing. kinda old kin sheet thingy.

fun stuff. :)

[ectobiologics]

they finally gave me my fucking medicine and stuff for this other thing holy shit… i am really excited about this, because this has been a thing that has really impacted my quality of life i think, mostly without me even knowing, so i really really hope this helps me go out and feel a lot more confident in myself!! here’s hoping! even if it takes a few weeks like they say it will it will be like the best thing to ever happen to me. it’s not psychiatric stuff this time so i’m a little more confident haha, since psychiatric meds tend to be a bit wishy washy for me.

[ectobiologics]

pain time again…

[victusinveritas]

[ectobiologics]

hiring someone to side with me in every argument paying one my never ending gratitude per hour.

[ectobiologics]

okay seriously like every day usually after i eat dinner or whatever i get hit with hella strong fatigue!! for like three hours! like my back/spine aches and i gotta lay down and stuff. what does this mean??? what is it trying to tell me... it is so weird...

[ectobiologics]

there was a cool silent hill 2 hoodie, and i kind of was really tempted to get it, but i haven’t played silent hill two. clearly this means i have to play silent hill two, and then return. (like a fetch quest.)

[turntechd]

i'll believe in anything

[ectobiologics]

sky was very blue today! the perfect blue! and the clouds are great. it was also REEAAALLY windy, awesome! also, the back rooms movie was actually pretty good, hehe. i would say more but i’m kind of tired and everyone is irritating me right now… :(

[ectobiologics]

this web site SUCKS!!!!!!!

[ectobiologics]

slightly more sensitive stuff under the cut.

i think the worst part about only having been physically intimate with my ex (pffff this sounds dumb) is that i subconsciously associate romantic actions/intimacy with her. especially in dreams, cause if my dream needs a “template girlfriend character” my brain will often just fill in the blank with what it knows, i guess… and then usually it devolves from there, or even when it doesn’t, it makes me feel sick and freaks me out.

[ectobiologics]

i like to think i am usually pretty like… predictable? i guess? uhhh… regular??? at least outwardly? but i am starting to think i kind of have hella mood swings. which is ridiculous but what ever… they call me moodswingsBiologist. /eyeroll. WAIT POST INTERRUPTED THEY’RE PLAYING AN AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS AD ON THE THEATER SCREEN AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this is so funny.

[ectobiologics]

i love movie theaters!!!!!!!! they make me feel so good. also they look cool. also i LOVE POP CORN!

[ectobiologics]

i am out again today but i am having insane random self confidence issues due to a really annoying THING that should have been RESOLVED already UGHHH. i need to call a place back but they have my mom’s phone number and my mom is dragging her feet, sort of, but it’s also my fault, sort of. also my mom needs to let me use the freaking car. >:(

i just kind of wish i could DO THIS! MAN! anyway regarding the other thing i guess i sort of feel more motivated and stuff but i’m still anxious as fuck, maybe i need to ask about raising the dose of that? i really want to get this thing and i want to work on this and that and whatever ugh i am going to tear my hair out. i need to call that place back!!!!!!!!!! really bad! and get blood work done. and whatever.

this thing is genuinely making my life kind of hellish and most of it is my fault because i really shouldn’t be THIS self conscious about it but COME ON! it also just sucks. GRUMBLE.

bluh. anyway watching a movie soon.

[ectobiologics]

more medicine drugs today. ideally i would have wanted to be on stimulants for my adhd again by now, but my mood is still not stable enough, oops. which i guess makes it good that we’re waiting and going really slow with it. i feel a lot more capable of actually being able to tell what’s going on with the stupid pills now. last time i was on like eight things and had no idea what they were doing. bluhhh. anyway, they upped my dose of uhh, the blue one. which i’m writing for myself so i don’t forget. so yeah! pay attention to that, future john! yay medicine!

i’m still really bad at introspection when it comes to meds so i’m kind of relying on all the time he is giving me to figure it out. hopefully i don’t have to go in person again before i get prescribed adhd meds, the commute is loooooooong.

i think i might try self medicating a little with caffeine? but we’ll see. it just really helps me get stuff done, which i REALLY need to do, like a lot.

[ectobiologics]

this might be a random ask but as a troll, i always wonder how you humans felt when you realised we were actually real life aliens and not just liars on the internet. if youd feel comfy talking about it, how did you feel?

this is a super interesting question, i love answering stuff like this!

to be honest, i don’t think i ever would have believed it without the exact circumstances we were in. like, in my time line you guys pestered us a few times throughout our lives before the game, (especially jade!), out of boredom i guess, and i never really thought twice about it. i didn’t even really memorize the chum handles, or anything. just lumped you guys in with other people punching random things into pesterchum to mess with people.

but i guess for me personally, after entering the medium and bashing the skulls of a bunch of imps in and everything, there was not a lot to be skeptical of anymore. also, we did kind of blow up earth! so it was either you really were aliens or the underlings learned how to use pesterchum, hehe. i guess i kind of just took it in stride, because there was not much else i could do at the time, and what was there to lose? (besides my life, that one time.)

when i had a bit more time to think about it though, man, it’s super neat! technically we made first contact, hehe. it is like in e.t., or arrival, or phm. i was kinda stoked! i’m still kinda stoked! i will say that you guys do not look how i thought you would. you use so many weird words, i thought you’d be like, more different! i mean i guess i kind of got the idea that you were at least humanoid after a while, but for a bit i really wasn’t sure!

as for my friends… we didn’t talk about it too much until we were on the ship, but after jade got over her annoyance at the whole thing she was pretty stoked too! in a more nerd-y science-y way. i think the people who were most disconcerted were actually dave and rose, hehe, (mostly dave), but they spent time with you guys on the meteor so they must’ve gotten over it too. i have no idea how that went, i wasn’t there, but now i’m kinda curious!

uh yeah! sorry if that’s not exactly what you wanted! the truth is i never really got a ton of time to process it, and then i was going through my own stuff, so bluh. but lately i’ve been realizing i don’t know much about alternia at all, and i’m really curious about it!

how about you guys? i know it was less of a shock, but did we look weird to you? are you proud of your awesome creations? hehe.

[ectobiologics]

harry anderSON?

no freaking way…

(i love harry anderson! he’s not exactly MY son per se, since i am closer to meat john, but like, he’s still my son! he’s a little gay looking though.)