just a little update (even if not a lot of you will read it haha), this year is really really busy since it's my last year of study and I haven't been able to write for a loooong time... I hope I will be able to write soon, I still have so many stories I want to write and share with you :)
hiiiiii! it's been a while COUGHasusualimsorryCOUGH. for a while my life has been kind of hectic and it's also my last year of uni so i gotta work hard ;;;;;
still, my will to write stories is there and i have so many scenarios I want to give you guys. i hope i will find the time to write soon and that you will be there :) hope y'all are doing great 🩷
guyyyyyyyys!! nana is like my ultimate shojo manga.. when i saw jisung wearing the sid/ren necklace i SCREAMED and now he's saying that he watched the anime and is currently reading the manga ?? im gonna combust
new bring me the horizon album ?? 🤩 actually listening to it and I looooove it, it was totally worth the wait! the teaser they dropped too ? like the final fantasy/playstation universe was lit
i have too many things to write,,,, tricked pt.3, spider-han story (+ finish one college jisung au), i wanted to drop a jeongin fic today in a certain type of series au (guess which one 👀), another binnie au, felix drabble, seungmin au, mermaid au............. someone give me strength haha
you probably dont know but im a big onlyoneof fan and they're coming in june to paris... thing is im supposed to work on that day..... im really close to call out sick just to see them... what should i dooooo 🥲
Genre: established relationship, a bit of angst at first, smut (mdni!), he’s in love
Warnings: some swearing, induced self consciousness and depreciation, fingering fem receiving
Summary: Another family dinner, another disrespectful remarks from your aunt. You’re trying your best to ignore them, however you’re getting tired of it and it does lower your self-esteem. Changbin can’t bear seeing you like that and intends to make you feel loved and beautiful.
Words: 1.6K
A.N: hello hello! im back with a fic which wasn't planned at all, oopsie 😬 i have several ones on my drafts so, be ready! as always, feedback is much appreciated and i apologize for the possible mistakes — cami, 240423
You were done. So freaking done with all this bullshit. You could never spend one family dinner without any remark from your aunt. In her eyes, you were always too lazy, too fat and she kept asking when you and your boyfriend would have kids even though she already knew the answer. All that pressure felt exhausting. You had been holding back for a while and tried to remain respectful, unlike her. However, she was truly pushing your limits. Your hands were shaking with anger as you stared into the bathroom sink, avoiding your reflection in the mirror facing you. Deep breath. Your eyes were tingling as tears were forming and threatening to fall. Suddenly, you heard a knock.
« What ? » you harshly said. You didn’t want to talk with any family member at the moment. To your surprise, it wasn’t your mom as you expected it to be.
« It’s me, love. » your boyfriend’s voice was a bit muffled by the closed door. « Can I come in ? » he softly inquired. You sighed and quickly wiped your tears away because you didn’t want him to see you like that. You half-opened the door. « I will be there in a sec, ok ? ». You forced a weak smile but your eyes betrayed your true feelings. Changbin’s soft brown eyes looked at you intensely, with a mix of concern and adoration. His heart ached at the sight of you being hurt, especially by words coming from an old hag with three divorces on her record. Before you could close the door again, he put his foot through the partially opened door. « Please ? » he pleaded, his plump lips forming a pout. How could you resist ? You let him in, going back to the sink and turning the water on. He glanced at you with your back turned to him. Closing the door, he then stepped towards you. You could feel his warm hands delicately running on your stomach as he was back hugging you. His broad chest felt like a cocoon and you directly melt into his embrace, your muscles relaxing a little. He gave a tender peck on your cheek and rubbed his nose against it. « You shouldn’t listen to her, Y/N. » he whispered in your ear. You whined. It was easier said than done. You put your hands on his and caressed them with your fingers. « I know, Binnie… I just wish that, once in her life, she would spend a dinner without unnecessarily spitting her venom to my face. » Your voice was a bit hoarse, sobs painfully tightening your throat. Changbin immediately noticed. "You know what ?" he said, his voice steady and reassuring. "You handled it with grace. You were poised and composed, even when she was being unreasonable. You're stronger than you realize. ». You sniffled, kind of skeptical about that. How he wished you could see yourself through his eyes. Then, you would realize how gorgeous and incredible you are. « Love, I can assure you that you’re perfect the way you are. Her words don’t define you.». He left more kisses on your cheek and jawline. You closed your eyes to the sensation of it and hummed. Only him could make you feel like that. Loved and peaceful.
However, he didn’t stop there. If praising you didn’t seem to be efficient enough, he would go all the way for you to accept yourself. He wanted to convey how your only existence turned his world upside down, in a good way. How he found you exceptional. Not only was he feeling lucky to have the hottest woman as his but also the smartest and kindest soul of them all. So he kept going, his smooches on your skin getting slippery and feverish. You felt his hands lowering towards your thighs and crotch. « That’s all you have to say ? I will not be satisfied by a simple hum, Y/N. » he warned. His hot breath against your neck and his curly locks brushing against it made you shiver, heat building up in your inside.
« Changbin, we should n… » you couldn’t finish your sentence, cut off by the look your boyfriend’s reflection was giving you in the mirror.
« You’re finally looking up. » he breathed, visibly pleased by your astonished face which was betraying your aroused state. The brown haired boy was still staring at you, lips glued to your skin, unbuttoning your pants. « Binnie… they’re going to wonder wh… ». You felt his middle finger brushing against your clothed core. « To wonder about what ? » he teasingly mewled. You bit on your lower lip. « About what is taking us so long. » you faintly exhaled, holding back a moan as his fingers were slowly working on your sensitive spot. He pressed himself closer to you, until you were almost crushed between him and the bathroom counter. The furniture was applying pressure on your lower abdomen, increasing all the sensations. « Oh, don’t worry. I will be quick but you have to play fairly. » he raised a brow, an amused expression adorning his face. You nodded, unconsciously moving your hips back and forth to get some friction on his hand. « Great. All you have to do is to say those three words: I am great. »
Gosh, he was driving you crazy. You were craving to feel his fingers down on you, rid of any bothering fabric. « It’s ridiculous. Come on, Changbin can’t you just… »
As if he had heard your thoughts, he sled his hands into your panties. His digits were welcomed by the warm wetness of your juices. Shit. Maybe the game will be slightly difficult for him too. However, he was a born competitor and wouldn’t admit defeat. His finger was circling your clit, variating pressure on it, going up and down to lubricate your slit. You clenched your fists and watched him pleasuring you. This was probably the hottest view you had ever seen. Any trace of tease had left his face now. He was towering you from behind, his free hand delicately bending you over. « I want to hear it. » he groaned. His eyes weren’t as soft and rounded as earlier and you could tell they were glaring at your soul. Fine. You would comply to his game and its stupid rule. « I am great » you weakly yelped.
Changbin’s heart race was increasing dangerously. How could you look so cunty and adorable at the same time ? And you weren’t even cumming yet ! Furrowing his brow, he put your pants down to your ankles. Using both hands, he grasped your butt and lightly spread it to expose your dripping folds. You gasped and tried to get his palm back on your slit. « Fucking beautiful… » he murmured to himself, his growing boner getting cramped into his boxer. He glanced at your reflection, as you waited like a puppy for its treat. « You’re doing great, love. But that’s still not enough. Say that you’re beautiful.» What ? He told you to play fairly just for him to play you like that ? « Shut up. » you growled and he couldn’t hold back a small laughter.
« Say it. » he dared you, his index playing with your entrance. « I am beauti… Ah! » you loudly moaned as he started to finger you. Changbin hurried to hush you, stuffing two digits into your mouth. You greedily sucked on it, getting totally brain fucked. Seeing you desperately horny turned him on like crazy, his dick lightly twitching in his pants. He wanted to fuck you right here. To feel your warm mouth around his cock, your tits bouncing as he would thrust into you. The idea of it made him drool and work faster on your core. He fingered you with passion, his digits curling into your inside, going back and forth to a high then slow rhythm. You were a panting mess, trying your best to stay as quiet as possible. But the brown haired boy was doing magic on you and you were getting awfully close. « Changbin, I… will not be able… to handle it… any longer. » your legs were wobbly, barely supporting you.
He smirked. « I know, love. Say it and I will let you cum. » He kissed your cheek and licked your neck, leaving a wet trail on its way. You looked at the brown haired boy. Your man was touching you with no mercy, softly rubbing his crotch on your butt. He looked outrageously handsome and lustful. His eyes glistening with love, his plump lips half opened as he was craving for air. Noticing how you were staring at him, he grabbed your chin with his left hand and made you watch yourself. « Look at you. » he moaned. The view made your inside flutter. You seemed so needy. Darting your ass up to feel him deeper, hands gripping on the counter, eyeing your boyfriend in such a sinful, sinful way. Your walls tightened around Changbin’s fingers and he knew you were seconds away from your climax. Despite this kind of degrading position, you found yourself beautiful and sexy. « I am beautiful. » you whispered, looking at yourself. « You truly are, Y/N » and with a few thrusts, you clenched around his digits, a wave of pleasure and relief hitting you hard. Your legs gave up under you and Changbin had to hug you tightly to prevent you from falling. You chuckled and he joined you. « Let me help you. »
He made you turned around and kneeled down. He had already done so much for you. And here he was, dressing you up and worshipping you as if you were a priceless treasure. When he got up, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. « Thank you. »
« Don’t, babe. I hope that, one day, you will love yourself just as much as I love you. » he replied, brushing his nose against yours. You closed the gap between the both of you. Lips crashing onto his, his tongue seeking for a way to enter your mouth, his firm body pressing onto yours. You were both panting and you could feel his hard on against your belly. « Should we go home ? So, I can help you back » you teased him. He took your hand in his. « Please. »
jeongin x reader. best friends to lovers. they think it's unrequited love so a bit of angst. but they're just idiots. happy ending :))
summary : 3 times you saved jeongin's ass and the 1 time he saved yours (and ended up confessing along the way). holidays themed.
winter falls masterlist.
a.n. : i am very happy to finally post my first fic for the winter falls collab with my author xi hehehehhe i hope you'll enjoy this one <333 it's very light and fluffy she's the cute one!! oh and my song rec is i bet on losing dogs by mitski
One.
Jeongin’s thumb hovers over your contact name, his rosy lip pulled tightly between his teeth. He hesitates for a few seconds before finally dialing your number.
“What do you want?” you start which makes an incredulous snort escape his lips, a gust of powdery air materializing before his mouth from the cold.
“How much do I have to pay you for you to come over?”
“Ten thousand dollars. Cash,” you precise as he mouths along to what you say, already guessing what your next words would be.
He's come to know you at an abhorrent speed these past few months; since you sat right next to him in your biology class, head buried in an oversized navy hoodie. Your perfume knocked into him like a gentle breeze— Sicilian lemon and white bouquet notes, nostalgic summer amid an unforgiven autumn. Memories of sticky fingers from molten ice cream and feet soles meeting the warm sand wafted in the air, alluring him to the kindness of a long-gone summer, you.
That is why he talked to you at first, because you smelled nice, incredibly so. He tells you it's because he liked the pair of shoes you were wearing.
“What if I brought you your favorite coffee?”
“Are you outside my dorm?” you squeal and he imagines you must be scrambling to get up, opening the curtains. He knows he's right as your figure materializes behind the window. “Hi,” you wave, a small giggle escaping your lips. He can't help the fond smile that draws upon his lips.
He thinks he likes you a little.
“Hey, please help me wrap my family’s gifts,” he pouts, waving the coffee in the air. Your order that he memorized by heart, not even meaning to, it was just natural for him to order you coffee every day, to remember your preferences as if they were his own.
“Why are you here if we're going to your dorm anyways?” you laugh, leaning against the window.
“Because I know I need to bribe you,” he sighs, angling his head to the side. “Are you not going to hang up and come downstairs? The coffee will grow cold.”
“I’m coming!”
An hour later, four gifts are resting beside Jeongin's figure, perfectly wrapped thanks to your skilled hands. He's lying on the warmed tiles, and you're right beside him, so close your knee brushes against his thigh now and then.
He is keeping count, well, more so his heart, constricting in his lungs each time you touch.
He's so aware of you, so much he's sure you’ve crawled into his skin, morphing him into nothing but a shell of you.
Perhaps he likes you a lot.
“You're an insane man. Who leaves gift wrapping to the last minute?”
“You're best friends with said insane man.”
“Remind me how did that happen again?” you ask, propping your head on your elbow, and turning to the side to look at him. Jeongin has to pretend that the sight of you hovering over him doesn't affect him. That his eyes aren't drawn to your lips, heart dissolving at your feet, hoping to brush against your own.
Please fall before I fall, he nearly pleads.
“Why are you so close,” he feigns disgust, pushing your face away with his pointer finger.
“What? Does that fluster you?” you question, amused, bringing your face even closer to his. He scrambles away before a blush sprouts on his face, one he wouldn't be able to justify to your scrutinizing gaze.
“As if. You're ugly,” his eyes squint, lips thinning into that particular smile he knows annoys you. He moves to the side swiftly, anticipating the shoe you throw at him.
“You're literally— remind me to never help you again, asshole.”
“I'm kidding. Thank you for today, seriously. I didn't know wrapping gifts could be this hard.” He falls back to the floor dramatically, banging his head against the tiles in the process.
“Well deserved,” you whisper.
“I heard that.”
“Good,” you giggle, before gently massaging the spot where he has bumped his head. He purses his lips against one another, afraid of what words might escape the confines of his throat, vocal cords moving to the gentle rhythm of your touch.
“Will you keep on being this clumsy, Innie? mm?” you muse, tone quieter.
The nickname makes his insides churn, it is always so tender when it falls from your lips. No one has ever called him this softly before. No one has ever called his heart before you.
He shouldn't be this clumsy with it. It is a fragile organ, akin to glass, easily breakable, so translucent— it'd be easy for anyone to peer inside and find you in it.
“Yeah, I probably will.”
He'll stop liking you next year. He hopes. He'll try.
Two.
Next year has come, familiar frigid winds pulling you to Jeongin’s heart, perhaps even more so than before, cementing your being into the nooks and crannies of his soul, perfectly so, as if it was destined for you alone to fill the emptiness inside him.
Seasons have changed and yet summer remains, its essence stored safely within the notes of your perfume, it tickles his nose as you're seated on the countertop, legs swinging lazily while he scouts through his fridge.
“Remind me why we're doing this again?”
“Because I made a bet with Yoon.”
“Your sixteen years old brother?”
“Yes.”
“You are in college.”
“I know.”
“Why are you taking it to heart?”
“Because I have my pride,” he says solemnly, hand on his heart and you roll your eyes.
“You literally begged at my feet fifteen minutes ago to help you.”
A year later, Jeongin stood beneath your window once again, phone brought up to his ear, hand hidden behind his back. You pick up on the first ring.
“Look out the window,” he quickly says before you can even speak.
“Hello, Y/n, how are you, Y/n, are you surviving with the cold—” you say sarcastically as you pull the curtains, the words dissolving in your tongue as he brings a single flower before him— you recognize its pink petals easily, Camellia, the rose of winter.
“I did not have time for coffee, but I plucked this off the sidewalk,” he offers, an amused grin on his face. “Help me bake cookies, pretty please, I'll be forever indebted to you. Forever and ever and ever and ever—”
“This is such a poor rendition of Romeo and Juliet, I'm afraid Shakespeare is suffering in his grave right now.”
“Do you think he knows of every theater play that was done to his story?” Jeongin muses.
“That's a good question actually. I hope he didn't see mine,” you shudder before your face pales.
“You did not tell me you ever did that!”
“I'll bake your cookies and you'll never bring this up again.”
“Deal. My Juliet,” he smirks and you throw a middle finger aggressively to his face before hanging up. He shouldn't find it as endearing as he does.
“Because, my dear Y/n, this is my holiday reputation at stake. I kind of raised the bar last year with my gift wrapping.”
“You did?” you raise an eyebrow promptly at his words and he sighs, taking out the butter before leaning against the fridge.
“We did. Which is exactly why I need your help again. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if Yoon wins,” he shudders and a giggle finally escapes your lips.
The kitchen warms up at the sight of your smile.
“It's cute when you need me once in a while,” you say nonchalantly, hopping off the counter and moving to wash your hands. Jeongin freezes in his place.
“I always need you though,” he confesses quickly, swallowing the words, hoping that this way you wouldn't be able to taste the sincerity coating them, sticky honey dripping from his tongue whenever it speaks of you.
“Good thing you'll always have me then,” you beam, your words hanging into the air, oxygen suddenly harder to inhale.
“Gross,” he fakes a shiver, as his heart drops in his chest, breaks, and twists at the weight your words carry.
He'll always have you, but not in the way he wants to, your eyes would never soften at the mere mention of his name, and you won't think that a season blooms into every room he is in. He has you, but just a fragment of you, not how you have him, as a whole, heart, body, and soul.
He's already fallen, a terrible, terrible fall.
“Will you help me or just stare off into the distance?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. He smiles bashfully, rolling his sleeves and sidling by your side to mix in the eggs, one by one, per your instructions.
It smells nice in the kitchen, the caramelized fragrance of browned butter, sweetened by the sugar dissolving into the warm liquid. Tentative sunlight streams through the window, and it falls perfectly on Jeongin's face, highlighting his sharp features.
Not that jeongin needs any additional light, he reminds you of spring, a flower blooming on his face each time he smiles, his dimples two youthful fountains the roots strive from, brightening his face even more.
He tentatively glances at you as he adds the chocolate chips to the mix, only to find you staring forward. He misses the fond look on your face by a few seconds, the tinting of your features with soft hues of pink, of spring, of him. He always misses it, always misses you.
Three.
"I can't believe you have 37 pairs of shoes but not one nice shirt.”
“It's 36, please count correctly,” Jeongin retaliates and you snort, flopping around in bed till you land on your stomach, chin propped up by your hand. Jeongin is still rummaging through his closet, head almost disappearing into the dark void of his wardrobe.
“What do you need this for anyway?” you question, as you scroll through your phone mindlessly. Jeongin’s eerie silence causes you to look up.
“Um. I have a date tonight.”
“Oh.”
His words hang over the room like a heavy cloak soaked with rain, the oxygen sucked out of your lungs and ensnared within that singular gasp.
Jeongin swiftly turns around, before kneeling beside the bed, eyes brimming with a hopeless search— you are too focused on steadying your breathing to notice.
“Should I go?”
“I mean… Why are you asking me?”
“If you don't want me to, I won't,” he speaks in an overflowing sincerity, as though he'd willingly surrender the reins of his life for you to guide, should you only dare to ask.
A breath, a pause, and he adds, “In case you'll be lonely tonight.” Your hope deflates in an instant, akin to a birthday balloon tossed into the careless hands of children.
Pity, that's what he feels for someone who hasn't had a date in a year while he went on ones regularly. Although they never transcended beyond that first meeting, always a first date, never a second. He says none of the people he meets are his type.
“I have a date too.” It was the truth, Suhoo had told you to meet him at the ice rink. You said you'd think about it. You knew deep down that your answer would be no, solely because he isn't Jeongin.
Perhaps it is too late for him to fall for you.
“Really?”
“Yeah, with Suhoo, you know, the guy in our Economics class.”
“He's nice.”
“Mm.”
Could you lose something you never had in the first place?
“You should wear Seungmin’s white shirt.”
“Yeah. That's what I thought too.”
“And bring them flowers. The rose of winter, maybe.”
You had preserved the plucked flower he gave you in a vase. The pink of the petals liquefying and bleeding into the blush on Jeongin’s cheeks once he noticed.
“That one's just for you.”
Four.
You're alone on the ice rink, the frigid winds assail your form, fingers numb from winter's cruel grasp. Suhoo didn't come after all, perhaps he was offended by you calling him at the last minute to confirm your date.
The chill of disappointment is more biting than the frost— you want to melt off the ice, you want your spring. You want your Jeongin.
But he isn't yours, perhaps he will never be. He is too sought after, too captivated by the fleeting chase of someone new to spare a glance at you.
But in this instant, you need him. You need him to hold your hands in his larger, warmer ones and get you off the ice rink. You need the sight of his familiar dimples and blooming smile.
So, you call him. He picks up on the first ring.
“Are you that bored on your date?” He playfully taunts, and his voice becomes a gentle breeze that stirs the emotions you struggle to contain. Tears cascade down your cheeks in an achingly familiar path.
“I-Innie,” you hiccup, and you’re instantly met with the sound of scraping chairs against the floor, the hastening cadence of footsteps hurrying out into the street.
“Did he do something to you?” He speaks so coldly, a tone so foreign to the warmth of your Jeongin. He shouldn't be tainted with winter too.
“He didn't come. Can you p-please pick me up?”
“I will. I'm coming in a bit, okay?”
He finds you rather quickly on the ice rink, a sore thumb unmoving between the gliding bodies. He skates over to you, almost falling twice in the process.
“You're so clumsy,” you snort as he stands before you, sobs racking through your body once more at the sight of him.
You weren't mad at Suhoo. You were heartbroken over Jeongin.
“I'll beat him up for you. I'll tell Changbin to help me too,” he smiles, hands fidgeting as they land upon your cheeks, trying their best to wipe away your tears.
“Please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry, Y/n, I really can't bear it." The tears only fall harder at his words, as if he's stringing them forth with each touch of his.
“Did he do something to you?” an unknown voice startles you and you turn to your right to find a girl looking at you then at Jeongin, a frown etched on her eyebrows.
“No, I'm her friend I didn't-”
“I wasn't talking to you,” the girl cuts him off and you laugh despite you, as Jeongin’s jaw hangs open, before closing once more.
“It's not him, thank you so much though,” you smile gratefully and she nods, eyes wary as she glares at Jeongin one last time, before skating away.
“I can't believe that just happened,” He exhales, a breath tinged with bewilderment, before he delicately encircles a hand around your back. Gently, he guides your head to rest against the comforting refuge of his chest.
“What are you doing?” you mumble against his navy hoodie, the one he borrowed from you. You can still smell your perfume on him.
“I'm comforting you.”
“You don't like hugs.”
“It's different when it comes to you.”
You close your eyes, allowing the tide of his warmth to envelop you like a cascade of spring petals.
“Where is your date?”
“I didn't go.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I love you. I'm tired of looking for you in other people,” he quickly says and you peel yourself away from him, feeling as if his clothes were suddenly made of fire.
“What?” you whisper, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I love you,” he repeats, each word drawn out, much slower this time, his hands cradling your face, tenderly, as though holding the sun between his delicate fingers. “I'm tired of pretending you're not my summer.”
“Don't say things you don't mean,” your voice wavers.
“I mean it. I've always loved you. You complete me in ways I didn't know were possible, and I know you only see me as a friend but-”
Your lips press against his, a culmination of aching desires that have lingered for two years. Distant laughter echoes in the background, ice cream melting onto your fingers, a soft breeze ruffling your hair, flowers blooming under the soft caress of the sun— two seasons melting sweetly into the kiss.
“You're literally so blind,” you giggle against his lips, and his smile widens, your noses brushing against one another. “I love you too, idiot.”
“You love me?”
“You're my favorite season.”
“Don't steal my lines.”
“Hey—” he kisses you this time, the winter is long forgotten.
