Mike Driver
JVL
The Stonewall Inn
Product Placement
$LAYYYTER
EXPECTATIONS
ellievsbear
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
official daine visual archive
Keni
Not today Justin
taylor price
🪼
tannertan36
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Stranger Things
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Misplaced Lens Cap
roma★
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Palestinian Territories
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@edithravensworth-blog
If we ever meet again in this lifetime, my passion for you will be unchanged, even if you’re not mine anymore, even if you’re married with children. You’ll always be the one I get down on my knees for, whose whole body I will kiss and whose whole being I’ll desire.
Qiu Miaojin, from Last Words from Montmartre (via clonewrites)
The Forced Meeting || Felix & Edith
I am here, I won’t leave, you have me. He found himself unable to voice the words, unable to return the feather-light brushing of her lips against his as she repeated his promise. Did she believe what she was saying? Did she believe him? He could not blame her if she did not. But even though he might leave, he would come back to her. Damn him, he would. His fear was a vice around his throat, but he had lived with fear for a long time now. For Edith’s sake, he would bear it.
When she kissed him again, he returned the kiss with a near-zealous fervor. There was no going back. His betrayals, all of them, were irrevocable. He could feel it - the chains clamping him down, tethering him to her, making him wholly unable to flee. And a part of him didn’t even want to.
The hand that still clutched hers (warm, she was so warm) against his chest tightened its grip, his free hand threaded through her hair. I am hers and she is mine, he thought again, this time with a tinge of hopelessness. He still did not speak. His actions had always spoken louder than his words. If the kiss couldn’t make her believe in him, in never, I’ll never leave you again, no words of his ever would. She used to know him. Perhaps she’d understand.
The knock on the door surprised him; he flinched, breaking the kiss. “Minister?” his assistant’s voice asked through the door. Suddenly, he was desperately glad for the silencing spells that were built into the walls of his office and kept any sound from leaving the room without his permission. “We are waiting for you.”
He did not reply for a few long seconds, instead watching Edith with something akin to regret and the smallest measure of relief, well-hidden. His mouth twisted into a gentle, minuscule smile. The kind of smile reserved only for someone Felix loved. Then he called out: “I apologize, Jasper. I’ll be out momentarily.” He continued holding Edith’s hand; with the other, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then moved it downwards to softly trace the contours of her jaw with his thumb. “They need me. Will you be okay?”
She was surprised, at first, with how deeply he had returned her kiss, but she quickly followed his lead, her lips parting as she welcomed the tenderness, the care, the love in his kiss--she knew she had him. She couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped her lips as she felt his hand tighten around hers, smiling into the kiss at the feel of his hand in her hair. In that moment, she knew he had her too. She’d never be able to give him up now.
When he broke the kiss, she stared at him for a moment, slightly dazed. He was the only person who had ever been able to render her speechless with a kiss, but what a kiss it was. She had missed it--his ability to make everything melt away, to make everything else seem unimportant except the two of them. It was all she had been wanting these last thirty years, and she’d be damned if she was going to let that feeling go.
She leaned her head into his touch as she smiled softly at him, nodding gently against his thumb. “I will,” she said quietly, “Now that I’ve seen you again. Though I wish I did not have to let you go,” she said, laughing to herself. “Please, just--Edmund, don’t hide yourself from me. My heart could not take it.” She gently stroked her thumb against the back of his hand, thankful for even the smallest bit of contact with him.
Don't forget.
What did Edith mean, if he truly wanted information, he should speak with his son? This was the second time she had referred to Arthur during this conversation, and it was too pointed to be a coincidence. What was she playing at? The last thing he wanted was for her to embroil his son into her political plots. Arthur deserved better than to be used as a pawn. (But hadn’t Felix been the one to set him up for that in the first place?) He briefly clenched his jaw before forcing himself to relax again. He would talk to Arthur. If he could get him alone for five minutes. If Arthur would even be willing to talk to him. For now, Felix refused to speak another word on the matter. But he knew it would gnaw at him. He did not want to look at Edith and wonder what intrigue was behind the mask she put on as easily as breathing. He did not want to be wary of her.
So Felix tried to put his suspicions out of his mind and focus on Gregorovitch instead, who simply took the correction in stride. “Ms. Ravensworth, then.” Gregorovitch gave her a thoughtful look, then turned away from them without another word to look through the stacks while a tape-measure magically flitted around Edith on its own to take her sizes. He had never been one to engage in idle pleasantries.
But when Felix had first come to District Thirteen, Gregorovitch had been kind to him. Had sensed the grief and confusion he was feeling and never lost his patience with him even after Felix had tried out wand after wand without any results and begun to wonder if taking the coward’s road had broken something so fundamental inside of him that no wand would ever choose him for its owner again. Eventually, Gregorovitch had sat him down and brewed him a cup of tea - in those days, a rare treat in a district that was struggling to provide its citizens with more than some paltry scraps of food. And then, once Felix had calmed down a bit, Gregorovitch had found him his wand. They had never become friends, but Gregorovitch had shown Felix kindness when he hadn’t needed to. Felix would never forget that.
Apparently done, the tape-measure floated back to the counter. It took a minute before Gregorovitch returned, several wands hovering behind and above him. “There are several options, Ms. Ravensworth, but…” He plucked one of them from the air, holding it out almost tenderly for Edith to take. “Let us try this one first. Elm and phoenix feather, eleven inches, rigid. Excellent for charms work.”
Edith did not like the way Edmund had fallen silent. This was not the way she had intended to reveal her plans, though she had not revealed that much to him at all. She knew how dangerous it was to say anything to him about Arthur, and she feared he would withdraw from her when he knew what her intentions were. She didn’t want to lose him, but she would not allow Lyra to have the same fate as she did. In the choice between Edmund and Lyra, Lyra had to win.
She cleared her throat when Gregorovitch had returned, the smile sliding back on to her lips. “Thank you,” she said, taking the wand and giving it a wave. Wands exploded from their boxes on the shelf behind him, and she couldn’t help but laugh before replacing the wand in its proper box. “Try this one,” Gregorovitch suggested, holding another wand out to her. “Yew with a unicorn hair core, nine and three quarters inches, pliable.” Edith took the wand he suggested and waved it, causing the lamp on the wall to explode. She sighed softly and returned the wand to him, glancing at Felix, wondering how amused he must be by all of this.
Don't forget.
He loathed that he remained sceptical of her intentions, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was too aware of her political brain, the way she knew to watch for an opening and exploit it. He used to admire that about her, but now it was dangerous. A great political mind like hers? One did not just turn it off. “Of course you want only what’s best for her. But perhaps what you want and what she wants does not align.” Felix tensed, remembering the way Kerri had spat his lies in his face, remembering a wand dropping from his hand and the utter loss of control. Remembering…? He shook his head, pushing it away. “It does concern me.” He lowered his voice once more. “By the very virtue- by the very curse of my birth it concerns me. More than that, it concerns my family. If you are planning something… I need to know, Edith.” But it was already the height of folly to discuss this here. It could not be allowed to go on. “Just- keep that in mind before you proceed with your plans. Please.”
Staying outside for another moment, Felix watched Edith and tried to discern her intentions as she stood silhouetted in the shop’s doorway. But they remained shrouded in shadows, as did she. Finally, he said: “If you’re alright with it.” He was pleased that she had asked him with her. He shouldn’t be, but he was. He entered the shop behind her. Everywhere one cared to look, boxes of wands were stacked either ceiling-high or stuffed atop shelves, some of the stacks wobbling dangerously. Dust-motes swirled through the air. At their entrance, a bell had rung; promptly, Gregorovitch - a short man with graying hair and a bushy beard - rose from behind the counter.
“Minister Aurelius, Countess Montgomery,” Gregorovitch said in greeting. “What can I do for you?” He turned towards Felix. “Not replace your wand, I hope, Minister? I remember it well. Phoenix feather core, twelve and three quarter inches long, unyielding and made of hawthorn wood. Well-suited to both healing and curses. Would be a shame for it to be lost, after all those years you took care of it so well.”
Felix forced a polite smile on his face. “No, Gregorovitch. It is Ms. Ravensworth’s” - he put a slight stress on the correction - “wand that requires replacing.”
Edith opened and closed her hands repeatedly, her mind swimming. Where did she even start with this man? "Do not presume to tell me I do not know what is best for my daughter," she said, her voice quiet, but slightly sharp, "Whatever I deem best will be done." She brought her gaze to meet his, using every fiber of her being not to glare at him. She wanted to remind him that Lyra should have been their daughter, not just hers, but his conversation was already sailing perilously close to the wind; she did not wish to make it worse. "The very curse of your birth," she repeated, scoffing at his words. Did he think before he spoke? Did he regret everything in his life before he came to District 13, including loving her? He had said he didn't, but each time she talked to him, it sounded less and less true. "If you truly want information, you should speak with your son. Although, I'm not sure how much you'll get out of him."
She couldn't help but wince at her former title and last name. The last time she heard it, it had been Lestrange to call her that. Funny, he's eht reason I'm here. Her estranged husband's last name only served as a reminder of the bruises that had healed, of the fight that had erupted, of the child she bore. She gave Gregorovitch a nod, a smile sliding onto her lips as if nothing had passed between she and Felix outside. "How are you this fine day, Mr. Gregorovitch?" she began, "I was involved in a duel not that long ago that claimed my wand as a casualty. Minister Aurelius, here, suggested I find a new one from none other than you. My last wand had a dragon heart string core, was made of birch, and was pliable. What do you suggest?"
Don't forget.
[Felix abruptly halted, narrowly avoiding a collision with her. He should have been on his guard, should have been more careful. But Edith had a way of stripping away his caution and his defenses with it even when he should know better, and so he stupidly had not gone into this expecting her to retaliate this badly. Mr. Aurelius? He nearly repeated the words out loud, stopped himself at the last moment. It should not rankle this much; after all, switching from Felix to Mr. Aurelius was to simply swap one lie for another. It did not matter. (Except it did.) He swallowed, then put his hurt aside. This conversation was not about him.]
You’ve got plans for Lyra? [He had told Edith she was not her mother. Edmund did not want her to prove him wrong. And yet-] What kind of political game are you playing? [She must be using Lyra as a pawn for something, and it disgusted him. Felix had a hard time trying to keep it from his voice. Not that he had the right to take the moral high ground with her, which she did not hesitate to obliquely point out. He had resented having his choice taken away from him by his parents as he resented that Edith was now trying to take away Lyra’s. But it had not stopped him from taking away Edith’s choice in turn when he abandoned her.
Feeling surprisingly raw, Felix briefly looked down. Then he merely nodded, moving in front of her to take the lead. It did not take long before they ducked into a sidestreet and ended up in front of Gregorovitch’s, a slightly shabby-looking shop despite the recent influx of clients due to the stream of refugees flowing into the district.] It might not look it, but he makes good wands. Mine has served me well over the years. We got Blanche’s wand here, too. [He couldn’t help a small smile creeping on his face as he remembered; he had been so, so proud of her. He did not say anything else; merely waited, wondering if he should stay or if Edith would send him away now that she no longer had need of him.]
[Internally, she cursed herself. Had she really said that aloud? Not that she owed Edmund an explanation as to what plans she had in store for Lyra, however, she did not like lying to him. She had never lied to him when they were children, but things were so different now...The lies were for his own protection, weren't they? Or were the lies to benefit herself, so Edmund would not try to stop her from putting her plan in motion?] I have plans for my daughter, like every mother has plans for their daughter. Marriage to a good man, children, long, happy life. [She cleared her throat, her gaze wavering.] The game is none of your concern. [She said, her voice losing some of its earlier strength.
She fell into step behind him, the hurt turning to guilt at the look on his face. Why did she insist upon hurting him? She dremt and prayed to the Gods for the ability to see him again, to talk to him again, to hold him in her arms, and now that she had him, all she wanted to do was make him miserable? She rubbed her forehead as she followed him, coming to a stop out front of the store. She saw the light return to his face when he mentioned his daughter, and her guilt turned to hurt turned to anger faster than she even realized. She walked up to the door and yanked it open, then turned to look over her shoulder at Felix.] Aren't you coming in?
Don't forget.
[Felix’s jaw set.] You will not “allow” Mr. Black to do anything. He is a free citizen of this district and you cannot go around threatening him just because he might do something you dislike. [Conscious of the people milling around them on this street, he lowered his voice.] You knew what you wanted when you were ten years younger than Lyra is now. She- [He abruptly fell silent; they were heading for dangerous territory now, and Felix was not ready to cross that line.
His expression did not change, but at her next comment he suddenly felt disconcerted. Was Edith referring to his difficult relationship with Arthur? How could she know? He wasn’t even certain he had told her about Arthur, aside from a brief mention when Felix had helped her move in. But if Edith knew, that knowledge was a weapon in her hands, and after the last night they shared together, she might actually use it. He did not want that. Arthur deserved better than to be used as ammunition in a vindictive fight that Felix and Edith should not even be having. Better not to engage.
He followed her, slightly amused by her decisive pace even though she wasn’t sure where to go. Edith had always been like that. Forging ahead. He softly said:] I hated it, too. Having to replace my wand when I came here. [Clearing his throat, he added:] It’s two streets down. I can show you; it’s easy to overlook.
[Edith stopped dead in her tracks. She turned on her heel to face him, eyes narrowed in his direction.] Forgive me if my diction is off, Mr. Aurelius. [She said sharply.] The threats will not be made against Black, if that is your concern. My daughter may be of age, but she is still my responsibility. I have plans for her, and they do not involve Black. Does that calm your nerves? [She knew it wouldn't--it might even make things worse. However, she did not want him to think she was going to have some pureblood witch power trip in the middle of District 13. It had nothing to do with that--she had never bought into any of that blood status suppression. Sirius Black was a pureblood as well, and a decent man, but he was not what Edith had planned for her daughter, simple as that. Lyra was to marry Arthur and become Queen of Panem, and no one was going to derail her plan, least of all Sirius Black with his forked tongue and blue eyes.
She felt her jaw tighten when he tried to defend Lyra, and she felt the anger stir within her chest.] My parents had plans for me when I was ten years younger than Lyra. We all know how well those worked out. [There was so much more she could have said, so much more she wished she could have said, but she could not utter another word in public without jeopardizing his safety. No matter how angry she was at him, she would never, ever do anything to risk his life, or Arthur's, for that matter. This was not an argument they should be having in public; perhaps she could bring him back to her place and really have it out with him.
She resumed walking, slowing down a little so he could catch up.] Lead the way. [She said, gesturing in front of her. He couldn't very well lead if he was behind her. She felt her lips purse when he spoke of getting a new wand. And what did you do about your sword? she wanted to ask, but, once again, this was neither the time nor the place. The anger in her chest turned to hurt the longer she lingered on his words. You replaced me, too, she thought, And our son. While yours walks free, ours resides in the tomb beside the man I thought was you.]
The Lessing family tree that gave rise to the Belcourt-Ravensworth-Montgomery-De Winter-Aurelius families.
Don't forget.
That better merely be an idle threat, Edith. I understand why you would be protective of your daughter, but that does not give you the prerogative to act outside of the law. [Perhaps she had said it in jest, but Felix had no doubt that she was capable of carrying out that threat if she so desired.] And ultimately, is it not up to her? [He shut his mouth. If there was anyone who should refrain from giving out parenting advice, it was him. Arthur had been avoiding him for weeks; he was strained and terse on the rare occasions that they did speak. Felix must have done something wrong, he just… could not figure out what exactly, and he was not sure how to broach the subject. He had never found it easy to speak to his children about the things that mattered most.
He watched with concern how she rubbed her forehead. Had she gone on that bad of a bender? If Felix stepped closer, would he be able to smell the alcohol on her? Too risky on too many levels; he remained at a distance. The worry crept up on him nonetheless, while the reminder of that night which had began at the bar and ended at her house only added to the tension between his shoulder blades.] You did not tell me, only that- [you thought she didn’t need you, he could not say. Nor would he ask what had upset Lyra; it shouldn’t be any of his business. Instead, he settled for a polite but almost indifferent:] I hope you two solve your difficulties.
[Felix raised an eyebrow in surprise, then gave her a minuscule smile - although he did step aside to avoid her touching him as she moved past him.] You’ll go now? Excellent.
[Her comment about forgetting what she came to the store for didn’t do anything to alleviate his concern. It was not like her to be so absent-minded. Better to accompany her. Besides, Gregorovitch’s shop - secreted away in the alley behind the Justice Building - was easy to miss for someone who didn’t know where it was.]
She is my child. [Edith nearly snapped.] And I will not allow Black to put his womanizing hands all over her. [We've come too far for that, she thought. Though she didn't expect Arthur to be the type to turn away a woman for not being a virgin, perhaps the future King of Panem would surprise her. She suppressed a scoff.] Of course it isn't her choice. She's only twenty-four; she's far too young to know what she wants.
[She lifted a brow at his words, casting a glance over her shoulder at him.] I think I could say the same to you. [She knew, from first-hand experience, that Arthur and Felix did not get along well. Lyra was upset over a few months' worth of lies; Arthur had decades on his side, on top of an already uncomfortable relationship with Felix. The new information that had come to light certainly would not help their relationship.
She glanced around, looking up and down the streets for the wand shop.] You know, I had that wand ever since I was a child. I could kill Lestrange for breaking it. [She glanced at him again.] Where is Gregorovitch's shop? I've never had a need to go there before.
Don't forget.
[He looked directly at her even as she dropped her eyes, a bland expression on his face - for all intents and purposes the picture of professionalism, just someone inquiring after his co-worker. Felix had been wearing a mask for the last thirty years, but never more than in the last few months. He had to keep it up. He would.
So he could not think about how he had practically fled from her with his tail between his legs a few days ago. By this point it was foolish to expect himself to be capable of being anything better than a coward, but it never began stinging any less. He wished he could blame Edith for how he had run, how he could barely face Dahlia anymore, how her revelation about Ariston’s children had made an almost primal fear rise up in him that made it hard to think. But it wasn’t her fault. The cowardice was just something that had always been inside of him, a rotten core that was now poisoning what little remained of him. But he did not think about that. He could not think about that.]
Lyra’s staying with Mr. Black? Why? [He almost asked whether she was alright, but stopped himself just in time; he should not care so much for a girl he barely knew. (Even if, or maybe exactly because, she was Edith’s daughter.)] Mr. Black does have a certain… reputation, but he is a good soldier. [And although he also was a bit of a brat, his loyalty towards his friends was commendable.] His heart is in the right place. Lyra will be safe with him. [He paused, his heartbeat speeding up when she raised her head and met his gaze head-on. But he said plainly:] I am concerned for your safety. Gregorovitch’s shop is nearby. It is unnecessary to leave you at risk when a short visit could resolve the situation.
And when men get those kinds of reputations, young ladies should not be spending so much time with them, let alone living with them. [She wished she could go to Black's house and drag Lyra out by her long, blonde hair, but Edith respected Black's property too much to do that. She had little respect for him, but his house was his house, and she would not violate his privacy to retrieve her fully-grown daughter (in the eyes of the law, anyway).] If he so much as touches a hair on her perfect little head, I'll kill him. [His question registered in her head later than it should have, and she lifted a brow at him, stepping down from the store's steps so she was on even ground with him. In her heels, she could almost meet his eye.] Did I not tell you that night at the bar? [She asked as she rubbed her forehead, trying to remember. All she could remember was him leaving that night; she could see his back retreating into the darkness as she wrapped herself in her sheets, trying to build a shield to cover her vulnerability.] She is upset with me over...Recent information that's come to light. She claims I lied to her and used her, and she's left our house until she gets over it. [She said it so matter-of-factly, so nonchalantly, but not seeing Lyra everyday was starting to drive her up the wall.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Concerned for my safety my ass, she thought, letting her arms drop to her sides.] You're that concerned? Fine. I'll go now, then. I already forgot what I came to the store for, anyway. [She moved to brush past him; it didn't matter to her if he came with her or left. If he left, she'd simply return to the store and wander the aisles until she remembered what it was she needed.]
Don't forget.
[He noted her hesitation, then inwardly cursed at himself because of the relief he felt when she did turn around to face him. He tried not to read too much into the way she folded her arms around her stomach - but a son a son our son played in his mind anyway, an endless refrain he seemed incapable of cutting short.]
No. President Coin did not send me. [Although perhaps she should have. His brow furrowed. What they were doing in Thirteen… the rebellion… it was bigger than either of them, more important than any of their squabbles. She should not have blown off work like she had. But he kept himself from speaking out - after all, wasn’t it because of him that she had even felt the need to? What right did he have to admonish her?] I wanted to speak to you about the wand that Lestrange destroyed. Have you replaced it yet?
[Her arms involuntarily tightened over her stomach as she looked at him. She tried not to stare too hard--that often got her in trouble, and they were in public. She had no desire to reveal Edmund's true identity in the middle of town. She cleared her throat and shook her head, her gaze falling to his shoes.] No, I haven't had the time. I've been searching for my daughter. She's been staying with Black, and I want to make sure the little rat isn't defiling her. [That job is saved for your son, she almost added, but thought better of it. Edmund did not need to know the full reason for Edith's sudden appearance in District 13. Not right now, anyway. Swinging her bangs out of her face, Edith decided to look at him, head on. Face your fears, she thought.] Why are you so concerned about my lack of a wand, Felix?
Don't forget.
[Although his entire world had been thrown off-kilter when Edith arrived in the district, Felix had felt especially unbalanced since his last… encounter with her, as if the ground were continually shifting beneath his feet. Not discussing it - being unable to discuss it with Dahlia made it even worse, his last support crumbling away even as he knew that the only one he could blame for it was himself.
It seemed Edith had been unsettled too. Although normally Felix would have frowned at her forsaking her duties like she had the past few days, he found that he could not blame her for it. She needed the space… and so did he.
So when he crossed paths with her on his way to a shift at the library, he almost turned away to let her enter the store unimpeded. Almost. There was much of the last time he saw her that he couldn’t get out of his mind, too much - but the only thing he wanted to think about now was the loss of her wand. She’d seemed dangerously careless about it, reckless too, and if something happened to her- she needed a wand.
Felix cut her off at the store’s door, his face serious and formal, his apprehension well-hidden. He did not know if her anger would flare up again. If it did, he deserved it. But he hoped it wouldn’t; he was so tired of fighting her.] Edith. [He had almost used her title, but as in his office, he found himself unable to. She was not Countess Ravensworth to him and would never be - to pretend otherwise stung too much, was too close to yet another lie, and he was just as tired of lying as he was of fighting.] A word, please.
[Edith's foot paused just above the concrete step. She held the doorhandle tightly in her hand, the door slightly ajar; she was about to go through it when she heard his voice. She closed her eyes and contemplated her options, briefly. She could walk into the store and pretend like she never heard him. She could ignore him and continue on her day, her life, pretending as if Felix Aurelius did not exist. He didn't; he was a fiction, but the man he used to be did not exist either.
Or she could turn around, like an adult, and see what he wanted. It was daylight, there were people around, whatever he wanted could not take that long. Surely he had to be on his way to his wife or work, and it would be just a quick 'hello, how are you?' and she could be on her way to collect--what was it she needed again? She sighed, frustrated she had already forgotten.
She closed the store's door and slowly turned around, her piercing blue eyes narrowed slightly in his direction. She folded her arms over her stomach and lifted an eyebrow at him expectantly.] Felix. [She said sharply.] Did Alma send you after me? I'm not coming in to work; I've already missed a great deal of it today. But I will be in tomorrow.
It’s still you. It’s still you.
Margaret Atwood, from Shapechangers In Winter (via icarus-writes)
FCHELPERS’ FAMILY SUGGESTIONS: sisters
Charlize Theron (28-37) and AnnaLynne McCord (20-26)
