Don't stop beating → Self Para
Tagged:Â Blaine AndersonÂ
Location:Â Anderson Media Corporation, Hospital
Notes: Everything builds up and becomes too much for Blaine (tw: heart attack)
Everything seemed to have gone wrong recently. There wasn’t one single thing that was working out in his life and throwing a tantrum was looking pretty tempting! Why couldn’t there just be one thing that went right? What had he done that was so absolutely terrible that his whole life had to be turned upside down like this? What had he done to deserve this amount of crap to be piled on him?
Nothing. Nada! Zilch!
It had started with that morning – waking up in his bed, the sheets rumpled, the sunlight slipping through the blinds and he’d rolled onto his side to be greeted by the sight of another man in his bed. It had taken a moment for the events of the previous night to come back to him and for most of the day he’d only been able to review highlights, the rest was a mostly drunken blur but the worst parts were the first to come back. He’d slept with Kurt – he’d had sex with an intern at his company and now said intern was stretched out and still naked in his bed. In his bed.
Needless to say he hadn’t handled the situation well. He’d freaked out, pushing the covers off himself quickly and hurrying to the shower. He’d tried to scrub the previous night off of himself and come up with a plan. He couldn’t let anyone find out about this. Not only was this intern still basically a child, but he worked for the company. It couldn’t get out that he’d slept with the boss and if Blaine’s father found out…oh God, his life wouldn’t be worth living. His father accepted the fact that he was gay (he hadn’t really had much of a choice) but he wasn’t exactly happy about it. As long as Blaine didn’t flaunt it then they got along just fine, but he had a feeling this wouldn’t go down well. He’d be accused of letting the family down, of letting his father down. He’d be questioned about his integrity…about everything.
He’d spent far longer than necessary under the water, letting it hit his back and the steam mist up all the mirrors. Eventually he’d turned the faucet off, clambering out of the shower and towelling himself off as he made up his mind. He needed to get the kid out of his apartment and then they could just forget this ever happened. Once he’d come to that decision he dressed swiftly and made his way back into the bedroom; the next few moments seemed to blend into together. He’d woken Kurt up, thrown his clothes at him and ordered him to get dressed and then…well, it felt like the next time Blaine blinked his apartment was empty and the door had slammed shut behind the kid.
It had been naïve of him to think that things would be able to go back to normal after that. How could he think that work would be simple once he’d slept with his intern?! They’d still had to work together for a day or two, before Blaine had managed to get him switched to another department claiming that he had simply too much work to be getting on with and he didn’t have time to babysit an intern. Laura had raised an eyebrow, her lips pursing but she’d done as instructed. From that moment on it had felt as though she was keeping a closer eye on him and he hated it.
He was being watched from every freaking angle. His father was making more and more phone calls as more rumours of his retirement started to circulate. He wanted to be sure that both Blaine and Cooper could cope with the responsibility once he did leave the company, but after every phone call Blaine was left feeling drained. He knew he wasn’t being a good boss either. He was letting everything get on top of him, snapping when Laura was two minutes late with his coffee, slamming the phone down on his brother when Coop wanted to talk about the upcoming family dinner. He needed a break but the work was piling up.
Soon enough he was in work before the sun came up every morning and he didn’t leave until it had long past set, napping on his couch before he had to run through more reports ready for the next morning’s meeting. His eating habits changed as well – takeout containers littered his apartment and he didn’t have the time to throw most of them away. During the day he was living off coffee and the occasional bagel (although the number of those increased once Laura noticed how he was skipping out on lunch in favour of staying in his office to work).
Keeping that up was never going to work.
A month went by and there really didn’t seem like any sort of end in sight. He barely saw Kurt nowadays and when they were forced together the most they would do was nod at one another. If they had to have a conversation it was polite, but both wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. Blaine hated it. He wanted their carefree banter back. He missed having someone he could laugh with, but he’d chosen to push Kurt away and he had to stick to that decision. He couldn’t go back on this.
Because of that he tried not to take too much notice of where Kurt was working in the building, or which department he was with. If he didn’t know then he could almost pretend that the kid didn’t exist and that was easier than focusing on missing him – god he missed him. A lot. Which was so stupid. So, so stupid.
Blaine groaned loudly, rubbing at his temples as he stared down at yet another report. The company was facing some problems and it was down to him to try and find a way out. Cooper was busy with trying to increase profits and his father…well, he wanted to see if Blaine could cope. He wasn’t going to let him down. He was going to sort this out, get them through this and then they’d be fine. Everything would be fine.
The door opened at 7:01 on the dot but he barely looked up; he knew it would be Laura with his coffee. He gave a small word of thanks as she placed it on the desk next to his elbow and then left. He reached out and grasped it, lifting it to his lips and taking a long sip. It was a tad too warm but he needed the caffeine if he was going to get through this meeting.
It didn’t take long for him to finish off the cup and he threw it into the bin beneath his desk, wincing when the familiar burning in his chest started up. He’d started drinking his coffee way too quickly, meaning that heartburn was becoming a regular occurrence for him now. Once things were better he’d slow down, but he couldn’t afford to now. He only had an hour until the meeting started and he still needed to get through thirty pages.
The minutes ticked by and with ten minutes to go he closed the report, scrubbing his face with his hand before he pushed his chair back from his desk. His stomach was still protesting at his earlier coffee but he ignored it. Instead he grabbed his emergency gel stash from his desk drawer, got his hair under control once again, straightened his bow tie and brushed the creases from his suit. The bags under his eyes were pretty obvious and his skin was a little bit paler than it should have been, but apart from that he thought he looked rather presentable.
He picked up the report, placed it under his arm and left his office. Laura presented him with another coffee on his way out and with a list of the people attending the meeting, which was always useful to scan beforehand. He stepped into the elevator, glancing at the list and releasing a long sigh when he saw one particular name. Kurt Hummel was going to be there. He was going to be sat in the corner, scribbling away on some notepad and completely distracting Blaine by just being there.
Seriously what had he done to deserve this?
The doors pinged open and he stepped out into the corridor, offering a smile to the few people looking to enter the lift. He set off towards the meeting room at a brisk pace, taking a swig of coffee in the hopes that it might help his stomach out. It didn’t, but at least the feeling didn’t get worse.
He pushed open the door, taking in the sight of an already full boardroom and offering them all a grin. He took his usual seat at the head of the table, placing his coffee, report and pen down onto the wood before he sank gratefully into the chair. He’d obviously walked a little bit too fast because his breath was coming harder than before and it was taking him a bit longer than normal to catch it.
Still, he waved at them to start up the meeting and one of his managers launched into a spiel. Blaine watched him for a moment before his gaze drifted over towards to a person sat in the corner of the room, notepad on their lap and pen in hand. Kurt. He swallowed as he took a moment to simply take the boy in. He looked good. His clothes were amazing, as always, his hair was styled to perfection and his skin…wait…was that a hickey?
Blaine turned away quickly, forcing himself to concentrate on the man speaking and not to think about where the hell that had come from. He didn’t need to think about that. Kurt could go out and fuck as many people as he wanted. That was fine. Absolutely fine.
The meeting seemed to drag and Blaine was starting to get slightly concerned – he was still slightly out of breath from the walk here and the heartburn hadn’t disappeared. In fact…yeah, it was getting worse. He shifted in his seat, trying to discretely rub at his chest as though that might help. He needed some aspirin or something, but he didn’t want to stop the dialogue going on in case he interrupted a good idea.
He’d just have to wait it out.
Except that didn’t happen. His breathing got worse as time went on and finally he raised a hand, effectively ending a heated debate on…something he hadn’t been paying attention to. Silence fell over the table and he pushed his chair back, trying to get his feet under him.
“I’m sorry to cut this short but I think we need a break.” His voice sounded strained even to his ears and when he caught the eye of one or two of the people around him, he noticed their worried gazes. He must look bad.
He stood up and took a step towards the door, before the world seemed to shift under his feet. The next thing he knew he was on the floor and his chest felt as though someone had put it in a vice. He couldn’t get a proper breath in, the world was swimming and people were crowding around him. He stared up at the ceiling, panic welling up inside him but he couldn’t do anything other than lie there. Everything seemed to hurt.
It wasn’t long before paramedics appeared; he was lifted onto a gurney and wheeled out of the building, trying to mutter apologies to whoever would listen for being such an idiot. It wasn’t until he was in the ambulance that he found out what had happened. He was having a heart attack. He was having a goddamned heart attack at forty-years-old! He was too young for this!
Over the next few hours he was pumped full of drugs, hooked up to a heart monitor and surrounded by doctors and nurses as they took his vitals and recorded everything. His family were informed but they couldn’t get there to see him. He was alone. He might die and he was alone. How was that fair? He couldn’t die. He was only forty. He had years left to go! He was supposed to have a big wedding someday. He was supposed to make his father proud. He was supposed to be able to handle all of this!
He wasn’t supposed to be on his own.
