ED Recovery Problems

A place where everyone recovering from eating disorders can laugh together about the things we go through every day. Please submit your own ideas!

[edrecoveryproblems]

We’re looking for mods!

Hi everyone,

This blog has been pretty quiet lately, and that’s on me. I’m at a point in recovery where I don’t want to focus on my ED as frequently, and am not in a place to continue giving advice. I’d love this blog to continue to be a resource for others, just with less involvement from me.

If you’re interested in being a moderator, please send a message (off anon) to this blog with your age and a bit about you and your recovery journey. I’ll respond with a few sample asks to see how you respond, and I’ll let New mods know by the end of the year.

Hope you’re all doing well!

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

Trying to keep it together after eating a fear food

[edrecoveryproblems]

I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor, but I’m convinced I have an ed based on what I’ve been doing and feeling. I’m trying to take the steps to recover though because it’s been 2 months and I feel miserable, tired all the time, achy, etc. I have a therapist, but idk how to bring things up when I haven’t even mentioned anything this deep to her. I’ve really only told her minor things and I don’t know how to make that jump. Please help, I don’t want to have to continue with this?

The greatest thing about a therapist is, this is literally her job. She is here to help you, and will roll with the punches. You don’t need to “work up” to telling her about this; I’d highly suggest coming to your next session with some thoughts on your eating disorder and how you want help. I’ve literally written notes before therapy appointments before. The quicker you get this out in the open, the quicker you can start working on getting better.

I believe in you!

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

A close friend of mine has been struggling with anorexia and bulimia for years. Her family is not helpful at all, they did stick her into recovery once but she relapsed a couple months later and now keeps her EDs secret. We're in boarding school together and I really, really want to help her. What are some healthy, wholesome things I could do for her, without being pushy or invasive?

I've always had quite a few mental problems but it wasnt until recently that I allowed myself to recognize and be diagnosed with an eating disorder. Ive always known how unhealthy ,my eating habits and weight obsession were. Its been a slow process but I've been trying to be as proactive as possible. BUT I know of a friend (we no longer talk) who's had similar eating and mental habits as I, despite no longer being on friendly terms, should I warn her to look into the potential of a disorder?

First off, it’s wonderful you’re looking out for your friends and looking to help them! 

NEDA has some excellent resources on helping a loved one here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/help/caregivers

And ANAD has an excellent, simple DO/DON’T list: http://www.anad.org/education-and-awareness/about-eating-disorders/how-to-help-a-loved-one/

Essentially, be there for the person and care for them, not the disorder. I hope this helps!

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

When Someone says: "Just Eat." Or "it's Just Food."

..if only it were that simple…

[edrecoveryproblems]

hello! i've recently started recovery and i'm doing pretty good, i think, i'm eating whatever my body is craving but i still get ugly thoughts. this weekend i'm eating a lot of junk food because i'm going out with my friends and family and i can't help feeling incredibly guilty and my mind is telling me to eat less the whole next week, but i know that's not healthy and it's my ed. what i want to really ask, is it ok to give in to those cravings once in a while even though they are unhealthy? -1

-2 by 'unhealthy' i mean pizza and kfc in the same weekend. i know this might sound stupid but i'm really anxious and i even considered canceling everything even though i was really excited to go this week..

It is more than okay to eat “unhealthy” food in recovery. Yes, balanced nutrition is important for everyone! But when you’re recovering, getting over these fears and challenging that negative self-talk, saying you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” eat these things is also incredibly important. It’s great that you’re working on it - keep up the great work!

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I want to recover... I feel like my recovery don't count because I wasn't sick enough

I'm currently receiving treatment for atypical anorexia and I'm finding it really difficult to want to get better, because I often feel that people think I'm lying or exaggerating as I never reached a very low weight. I feel so bad when I hear about other people's situations, as I feel like mine has been so small in comparison and I'm just so ashamed to even talk about it in case people judge me. I was just wondering if you had any tips on how to deal with these feelings?

Feeling you weren’t “sick enough” is, in and of itself, a sick thought. Putting this illness in the terms of more accepted physical illness is frequently helpful in exposing these thoughts for the illogical statements they truly are. If you have a cold and someone else has the flu, it doesn’t mean you should actively try to make your cold worse so that your recovery is more dramatic. All eating disorders are dangerous, and the voice in your head telling you you weren’t sick enough to deserve recovery? That’s your ED. Keep fighting. You’ve got this.

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

Catching Up

Hi All!

I’m working on refilling the queue now. I’m catching up on a backlog of asks, so yours should be answered in the next couple of days if you’re waiting on an answer! Tumblr sometimes eats asks, so if you don’t see yours in a week, feel free to resubmit. 

Keep in mind that asks with numbers will not be answered; please resubmit your ask without numbers if you’re still looking for an answer.

We’re accepting submissions now - please send your best along!

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

Trying to tune out negative self-talk

[edrecoveryproblems]

I get really frustrated when people misdiagnose my eating disorder (Arfid) when I'm in treatment. How should I tell the other patients what I'm going through without seeming pretentious aand as if I think in better than them because of my type of ed be cause I'm really frustrated when people say triggering stuff or when they get mad at me for something I don't understand Like body image problems?

I think in this case, it just comes down to how you address it. It’s totally fine when another patient says the wrong diagnosis to give a quick, “I have ARFID, actually, not x!” Cheerfully, without making a big deal of it. Your diagnosis is a big deal to you (and for good reason!), but if you handle correcting folks as if their mistake isn’t a big issue, they’re more likely to just accept it and move on.

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

I just got out of a short in-patient stay at the hospital to stabilize my bradycardia, low bp, nutrition, etc, after it was discovered during a routine appointment, and basically now as we're starting to get a meal plan all set up, I'm a bit nervous about what weight the doctors will consider back to normal. Essentially, before any of the disordered habits got involved, about x lbs at x was my normal weight, and I've stayed at that height for several years now. However, I went through a severe 6 month depression in winter and spring of 2015-2016 and turned to overeating as a vice, which led me to gain about x pounds pretty quickly. When I got out of the depression and started eating healthier again, my weight very gradually went back down to about x lbs without much effort, but after sticking there for a while, I began to develop restrictive eating habits, and dropped to x by mid summer. After the hospital I'm now about x consistently, but I've been eating normally for less than a week now, so I'm really worried that number's gonna shoot up after that initial adjustment period. Basically, do you think my body will be able to be healthy at the x range without excess involuntary weight gain beyond that, or is it more likely to go past that if I stick to the meal plan? Thank you for any help you can give xxx

First of all, I’m really glad you’re receiving medical treatment. I know that part is rough, but I’m so happy to hear you’re getting the care you need.

Your treatment team will set your goal BMI, which will be in the healthy category (usually considered 20-25, though there may be a few goals on the way there). It’s not uncommon to overshoot your target as your metabolism adjusts to eating normally again, but your body will eventually catch up and your weight will stabilize. Which is to say, eating to your meal plan won’t cause you to just keep gaining and gaining. Your meal plan will be adjusted so you reach healthy weight and stay there.

You’ve got this!

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

Having healthy hair again in recovery

[edrecoveryproblems]

I just started recovery (I haven't had my first official appointment yet) but I did have to promise my therapist and doctor I would try to eat more until the my appointment. I made a promise, so I'm trying to follow through on it, but I'm finding that if I try to eat much more(like adding four crackers and a protein drink) than my usual restricted diet I feel very nauseous, so my willingness to eat is way down. Is this normal or something I should email my therapist about?

This is normal - when you restrict, your body adapts in order to keep you alive. That means that, when you’ve been restricting, trying to increase your intake may make you feel very full. Recovery bloating is a struggle, but one that will go away over time. Try eating smaller, more frequent meals and using a hot water bottle after meals to help with this.

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

Hii. So right now I'm focusing on getting better but I have a friend who says things that are veryyyy triggering (unintentionally) and idk what to do about it. She has no idea about my struggles with eating. I don't know how to block it out?? X

I’ve been on and off recovery for a while now where I’d have a good day and eat xish and then I’d have bad days of xish. I do want to recover but my mom is OBSESSED with calories and loosing weight and she always comments on what I’m eating. I also have to see my grandma over the summer and the last time I saw her, the first thing she said to me was “you’ve gained weight”. Any advice/tip on how to stick to recovery?

My parents found out about my eating disorder yesterday and instead of trying to help yelled at me and told me I had to "stop this bullshit right now" which has just made me feel worse. They also told me I was doing it for attention, I do want to recover but the voice in the back of my head is telling me not to.

Reaching out to loved ones for help is hard enough in and of itself, so when it doesn’t go well, it can feel like the end of the world, the end of your recovery. It isn’t.

Eating disorders are illogical. Starving doesn’t make sense to those who don’t have an eating disorder, and it shouldn’t. So to folks who don’t know about eating disorders, just saying “stop that right now!” seems like it should be the answer. There’s an urge to fix the situation, without an understanding of the complex factors that can cause eating disorders. When you add in friends and family members who are also fixated on calories and weight loss and are not only unhelpful but actively triggering, it only gets more complicated.

Do not let your eating disorder use their lack of understanding as an excuse to avoid recovery. You are sick enough. You deserve to recover. Once you seek treatment, your therapist can help you devise coping strategies to let you continue with your recovery, despite external triggers. 

Before that, though, a frank conversation with triggering friends and family members should be your first step. I’m well aware it’s easier said than done. However, your friends and family would not knowingly cause you harm. Saying “When I hear You’ve gained weight or how much you hate your body, I feel I need to [insert behavior]. Can you try to avoid that around me?” Giving your friends and family concrete ways to help and things to avoid, along with clearly stating the results, can curtail the more overt issues.

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

When you’re eating to your meal plan and aren’t tired/dizzy/in pain constantly anymore

[edrecoveryproblems]

My boyfriend binges and after feeling guilty he goes straight to the gym and excessively work out; is he bulimic ? I'm really worried about his behaviors..

I’m not a doctor, so I cannot diagnose your boyfriend (especially knowing only one sentence about him). Some bulimia diagnoses do include purging via exercise. Regardless of the terminology, these are disordered behaviors. Best of luck to both you and your boyfriend - with a partner as supportive as you, I know you’ll both make it through this. We’re here to help you with any questions.

- Amanda

[edrecoveryproblems]

I've just started recovery and I've just seen a post about 'recovery sweats'? Is this actually a thing?? Because almost every night, if not everyother at some point during the night I go through a hot flush and wake up in the morning soaked in sweat - is this a normal part of recovery that you know of?

Yes! This is completely normal and a good sign. It’s a signal that your metabolism is beginning to heal. Keep going!

- Amanda