edwardthesavior

Short ramblings about my life as the most caring person ever.

[edwardthesavior-blog]

All his life, he had found his way out of difficult situations by determining what people wanted and then convincing them that he was the best one to provide it. Then he'd go ahead and provide it, even if providing it meant walking the narrowest of paths.

Jonathan Darman, Landslide: LBJ and Ronald Reagan at the Dawn of a New America

[edwardthesavior-blog]

When a women doesn’t return my affections...

[edwardthesavior-blog]

This quiz (https://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/have-you-met-your-soulmate?utm_term=.hwYm1jNEA#.ndrXkvzeA) finally confirmed my deepest fear -- that I haven’t met my soulmate yet. My result spoke so poignantly to my life! They assured me that “the search for love can make life very exciting” and that “you never know when you might meet the perfect person for you.” Maybe in looking at the results of this always-truthful test, Leonora can finally realize why I am constantly seeking a companion. She is not my soulmate, the quiz confirmed it! So I must keep searching, for I know now that it is not Mrs. Basil or poor Maisie or Florence or any of the others. But she is out there, and I will keep searching! 

[edwardthesavior-blog]

Dear Leonora,

I must explain why I love you, if only to convince you that I do not hate you. You see, I love you because I respect you. I hold deep admiration for you because you manage my money and provide for the many women I’ve loved over the years and keep an eye on my health. I understand that you don’t feel the same way about me -- that you hate my heroic deeds and my search of emotional connection. But you have to understand my motivation; I must seek out other women simply because you are not my soulmate. Oh dear Leonora, you are my life companion, my rock, my guiding star. Yet I cannot love you passionately, like soulmates should. So please understand that my seeking out other women is not due to my hatred for you. And please treat others -- such as John, widower of poor Florence -- with compassion, even if he was so closely tied to my last lover. I love you, as a friend, and desperately want you to support my life-long dream of finding a soulmate. 

Love, Edward 

[edwardthesavior-blog]

...and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment...

Plato, The Symposium

[edwardthesavior-blog]

I think it’s time for everyone to hear my view on the Kilsyte Case. Here I was, minding my own business on the train, when I see this poor girl sobbing. Just looking at her, my heart broke. So I did what any upstanding man would do, and went over to comfort the poor thing. We got to talking, but she still wouldn’t stop crying. So I kissed her -- big deal! Isn’t that a normal thing to do, using ones’ body to comfort another person? I thought so, at least. But then she claimed that it was sexual assault and it became this huge deal. And Leonora -- Leonora of all people! -- was ashamed of me as well. Well all that just made me feel awful. But I want to put on the record that I am not a sexual predator -- who could even think of such a name! I'm just a compassionate guy who wants to comfort those in need. 

[edwardthesavior-blog]

List of Resolutions

1. Find my soulmate. 

2. There is nothing else. How could you be so cold-hearted as to suggest anything else could be on this list, and distract me from such a mighty goal? 

[edwardthesavior-blog]

Still spending all my money on taking care of people, especially women whom I love. I’m just trying to help out the poor! That’s not such a crime, is it?