My dear, Mr. Vayne! I am terribly sorry for the long wait, and please forgive my tardiness! It has been such a long week...well- one could argue that my recent "laziness" begs to differ...
I don't know what has gotten into me recently. I fell ill 3 weeks ago, and ever since the 'sick'-like symptoms have gone away, what remains is a dreadful feeling of numbness, and motivation has been hard to find recently. I haven't touched any of my work in a week, and now that I am about again, I wanted to pay you a visit to make up that lost time!
How have you been? Miss Internetchan told Mr. Dorian Gray about my recent missed events with you, the doctor, and a few others, and I was left feeling quite embarrassed...
He talked with her about my ...bad habits.. but had also mentioned how he wished for me to take him to you for a visit as he admires what he has heard of your appearance and presence, matching them to his own standards. I thought about it, and I most definitely shall! I haven't been in touch with him lately out of my own failures to manage time or respond to any of his letters or anyone else for that matter.
As the new week is starting, I wanted to start on something new and fresh! A new concept that could take my mind off the dreadful experiences of these past few weeks. I have many unopened and unread mail to attend to, and as I was skimming through various letters, I had come across an interesting one that caught my eye...
A letter asking me about whether I have ever done any nude artwork of Mr. Dorian Gray. I didn't think of it at the time, but I feel this could be perfect! Something that will keep me from ending up in bed for all hours of the day again. I want to ask Dorian about it... but...
For some reason I have just felt so...flustered about it, which is unusual as I have done work with him many times now and have done nude work of both women and men and never had any strange feelings like this occur as it was always just a part of the art process. But, with Dorian, I feel like I am begging for God's blessings. It's something I've thought about for a while, but I never really asked him about it properly. Whenever the opportunity came, I always failed. Mostly out of, dare I say embarrassment...
I want to tell him myself in person, a mere letter won't do! I was thinking maybe If I could get him out with me for a bit, I could curated the perfect moment for me to ask him! I was thinking perhaps I could introduce him to you! Yes! It would be perfect! All three of us could spend the day together and then I will finally bring it up to him! He has showed much interest in you and it would be such a pleasure to show him to someone I have known personally for years now! You have always known how to help me keep calm and collective through these things, Mr. Vayne. If there's anyone who could possibly help me with this, it's you! Would you be open to a day together with us?
And oh! Yes- would you...also perhaps be interested in helping me keep him from taking those drugs from Miss Internetchan? *sighs* He won't listen to me...but just maybe, if someone such as yourself were to tell him that they do no good, he might think twice about it! He takes a lot of pride in his appearance and does everything he must to keep himself looking good. Im sure he would change his mind if he saw you! Im not sure where Miss Internetchan gets these...'Ibuprofen' from, but they sound strange, unfamiliar, and easy to abuse! I don't want him putting anything into his body he doesn't know much about. Maybe you help him change his mind, haha!
Please let me know if there's anything else I could attempt to make things easier for myself, this is something I've been wanting to do for a long time and it could possibly help me in getting my life back together! I'm so tired of wasting away in bed all day while having horrible sleepless nights. It's all out of balance! A new piece of work could help me get my life back together. I think this time together could be beneficial for all three of us! I hope you are open to it, and it's so wonderful to be writing to you again!
-Your dear friend, Basil Hallward
Really you have no need to feel sorry for such thing⦠I will forever answer to any of your letters, whether they are written on time or later. I don't know if yours can be called "laziness". An artist cannot be called lazy in my opinion. Without motivation, yes but never lazy. Especially someone as talented as yourself Mr Hallward.
Thank you for your attention Mr. Hallward, I'm very grateful to know you care about our relationship and that you ask about my wellbeing. I'm good, I can rather say I feel exited⦠now that I find myself in London, it is an entire new world for me to explore. But Basil, you should really go to your appointments with the doctor if you missed them, your Health should be your priority. Miss Internetchan told him? That is a new name to me, is she a new friend of yours?
Mr. Gray asked about me? I can guess you told him about my arrive to London, and he admires my appearanceβ¦well, I'm not really that pretty or Fascinating but since he's someone who you really trust, then I trust him too and I really appreciate his invite to meet eachother.
Oh⦠new concepts? Asking to Mr. Gray to pose for you again⦠I really don't want to give too much appreciation since I'm a journalist that tries to be as neutral as it can but I always thought your art is beautiful, with or without Mr. Gray's influence. But if you think that this request to Mr. Gray will make your motivation return⦠then Im going to help you. Embarrassed you say, as you said, yes if it were the three of us it would feel less pressing⦠but I want you to know that if he still says no, I'm happy to take his place if it can make you feel better Mr. Hallward. Yes, I'm open everyday for you Mr. Hallward. I'm eager to meet you and Mr. Gray, also you would not mind if I ask questions? I would love to know more about the different British lifestyles, the places you usually go to and where you pass your days.
Mr. Gray is having difficulty dealing with drugs? Ibuprofen you say⦠yes, it doesn't sound like something safe and if it really gives bad side effects it's better to warn him about how addictive it can become if he starts to abuse such substances, even though I know from your letters how much Mr. Gray can be difficult to talk to sometimes. I really hope I can convince him to not finish in this endless hole that is the drug addiction, I saw many people starting these habits and dying with them, I would be sad for a very close friend of yours to happen the same.
I'm grateful you gave some of your time to write this wonderful letter to me,that you get better with your health and gain some of your motivation back in the future with this idea you told me about. I hope we will have a good time togheter.
