like a shotgun, i can't be outdone.

edward lawson; don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. unfold your own m y t h.

[edwardwht]

@edwardlawson: My pants are falling down in my last insta post because I forgot a belt. Don’t worry, I’m not a hooligan.

[anselelgrt]

[carlxe]

You woke me up from the best dream that involved me being a main character on Criminal Minds and scared the absolute shit out of me. This better be good.

[edwardwht]

I'm sure that was exciting and all, but someone wanted me to come leave you a message. But if you're busy, I'll go.

[tbh-doniya]

I’m pretty sure the barista this morning thought that by giving me his number it would make up for the fact that he gave me a completely different drink order.

[edwardwht]

If you take it back, can't you get them to redo it? You paid for your drink. They should get it right.

[nbdtristan]

Probably not. Just leave it at people are weird and we’ll call it a day.

[edwardwht]

Well, I mean, they are pretty weird so I can understand that.

[gamechangershow]

Anaconda (The Educational Version)

[nbdtristan]

Sitting on a park bench and people-watching has taught me that a lot of people do some weird shit when they don’t think anyone’s looking.

[edwardwht]

Should I ask?

[edwardwht]

[ ✉ ] gunnar ⇆ edward

Gunnar: okay i'vm coming over unlkoc your door

Edward: Okay, pumpkin pie. I'll be waiting

[edwardwht]

[ ✉ ] gunnar ⇆ edward

Gunnar: is ypour roommate tihere

Edward: No. It's Halloween, he's out.

[edwardwht]

[ ✉ ] gunnar ⇆ edward

Gunnar: well i'm udrnk

Gunnar: leave me alone wi regret brinigyng tbhis up doen't questnoi me

Gunnar: shtu gup youp're itulpsdy handsome atnd i liek your smile

Edward: Then come here. I'll take care of you. Make sure you don't do anything ridiculous.

Edward: Don't be like that, Gunnar. You can talk to me. This is what best friends are for.

Edward: You can come see my smile whenever you like. I can't help but smile around you.

[edwardwht]

[ ✉ ] gunnar ⇆ edward

Gunnar: i don't fucking know i'm novt gbay

Gunnar: mwe sluhod fuck

Gunnar: waht

Edward: I am so confused, Gunnar. Why do you need to say you're not gay to tell me you think about me?

Edward: Wait, what? Who? Us?

[edwardwht]

[ ✉ ] gunnar ⇆ edward

Gunnar: no homo buot i thzink aubot ygou a nlot

Gunnar: dur so fucking ceut

Gunnar: don't tell anlnyoe

Edward: You think about me a lot? I don't get it. If you don't mean it in a homosexual way, then how do you mean it?

Edward: Who's fucking what?

[edwardwht]

@edwardlawson: My original idea to dress up as Miley Cyrus was a failure, and then I wanted to dress up as Britney Spears which also failed, but dRESSING UP AS SCOOBY-DOO IS NOT A FAILURE

[fmdyazhu-deactivated20180725]

It’s only 2 months away and I’m ready for the breaks that come with these holidays. I want a lot more clothes, shoes, and maybe some new bandanas. What do you want?

[edwardwht]

I'm sure we could all use a break, really. Oh, but bandannas are very nice. I don't really want anything too extravagant though. Like, clothes would be nice, of course. Food. A party.

[caseyjfc]

Yeah, and they didn’t before I guess? I don’t really know. Exactly, you have to celebrate. Yes! No one’s gonna try to beat you up. Okay, they might, but I’ve got your back.

[edwardwht]

I think this time of year is what I was most excited for when I learned I was coming to America. I'm going to have so much fun with all of you. I've never had so many friends.

[fgslogan-deactivated20160312]

Are you gonna’ be Hartfield’s very own Santa Claus? I’ve never been so excited for Christmas. You can never start preparing too early, and that’s a fact. Deck the halls, my friend. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

[edwardwht]

Oh, you bet. It's going to be my first Christmas in America so I'm excited to go all out.

[srslyharley]

Of course I’ll get you something. What kind of person would just… demand gifts? So, are you going to tell me what you want for Christmas or do I have to use my deductive reasoning?

[edwardwht]

There are some rude people out there. I don't know though. I feel bad asking for anything. You should just get me whatever! I'll be happy with anything.