THE TOUR WAS MY FIRST WEIRD GIRL FANDOM ALONE adk me abt my Ivan basso self insert era. Jk. Please tell me your f1 au lol
Grace that makes perfect sense and is so genius and beautiful and THANK GOD FOR SPORTS AMIRITE!!!!! Answering this for you and @lajnias and the anons I got about this who are so right and smart and sports but a different sport are so good it’s so true!
Ok I am new to this!! I watched the French Netflix’s TDF Drive to Survive and decided to declare a truce in my one sided forever war against cyclists on the running paths in Philly to watch the entire TDF broadcast every day that I was not at work and it was on AND listen to a daily recap podcast on the days I could not watch lol and I have some thoughts!!!! Which will go below the cut!! Pls read more for that plus a lot of diversions into my general feelings about and love for endurance sports which I can go on because it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want!!!!!!! I’m going to maxplain some things just because of who I am as a person jic anyone reading it is not familiar with the tour or cycling!
SO to start I am so fascinated by cycling and the physical challenge of it, especially the Grand Tours which are three weeks long with only a couple days off, and have courses with sometimes insane climbs they are biking on for approx 3-ish hours !! And they go and do that the next day and repeat for like 20 days! CRAZY! The equivalent of running a marathon daily for weeks except due to like, human physiology that is not possible (for enough people to make a full sporting event out of it)…. I truly feel like it is the absolute limit of human endurance that still is grounded in mainstream sports and the narrative potentials are HUGE!!! The AGONY and needless to say, THE ECSTASY. Finding the extra inch of performance from your brain when your legs feel like they can’t work OR when your body just can’t make it happen no matter how hard you try!
From an AU perspective, I think it would be so interesting. The general horniness of shared spaces like team buses and hotel rooms! Team decisions being made with sports directors and managers and athletes sitting on the bed while a guy is basically naked on a massage table getting his legs treated!! It has some overlap with F1 in the way it’s like team but individual or both or neither. Only some teams are even competing for the General Classification (the person with the best time overall across all stages, considered the WINNER, wears the yellow jersey when they are leading) and within that team it’s usually only one or two riders who will be in the running for that, the rest of the team supports that person … they are literally called “domestiques” lmao and can lead take the wind for the Main Guy, make moves that help them like taking the group out fast (essentially ruining their own chances at that stage), fall to the back of the peloton to grab food and drinks from their team car and ride them back up to the group etc!! It’s so beautiful imo!! Also people many times can win stages without ever being in contention for the GC bc they may be a sprinter or a good mountain climber but the GC riders are the best overall etc SORRY FOR ALL THE EXPLAINING
Which brings me to what is OBVIOUSLY a maxiel au lol. I see like, Daniel as a good rider at an above medium team. He hasn’t really challenged for the GC at the TDF but has maybe won several other races, gotten a few podiums overall in the tour, won a bunch of stages etc and is the Main Guy on this team. In like LET’S SAY 2018 lol Max is new to the team having had a really prolific junior career and gets called up to join the team for the TDF. Also lol in my mind palace Jos is a former cyclist who was a prolific doper in the Lance Armstrong late 90s-early 2000s era with a lifetime ban from the sport lmao. ANYWAYS. I think Daniel is like, actually having a great tour, consistently in the top 3 in the GC standings. And Max is new and young and awkward and some of the older guys on the team razz on him a little etc but Daniel a la early Red Bull makes sure to be his friend and make him feel included and even like- as in real life!!- Really grows fond of him :(((. Max is very much in the role of domestique for Daniel on the team but he has a couple really brow raising performances, like gets sent up to a breakaway for some reason and sticks with it for a really long time, heroics to benefit Daniel, etc.
In the background there is some weird inexplicable sexual tension developing OF COURSE!! Max I think like, young and less socialized lmao just like openly staring at Daniel all the time hahah like truly imagine a world where he isn’t in fireproofs but skin tight bike shorts with tan tattoed legs and extremely pale ankles who could blame him. But also Daniel who in this and all universes in my gay sports mind palace is deeply closeted and absolutely not going to examine the reason that his teammates’ (all men ofc) devotion to him as the leader is like, the most meaningful relationship in his life and notices Max noticing him at first but then also is noticing him generally.
And so at this point Daniel is improbably leading the GC and the next day is a pretty crucial stage and they’re meeting with the sports director and trainers and whatever in Max’s hotel room and he’s getting a treatment (what athletes insist on calling extremely painful sports massages) with his ass covered by like, a folded towel, and they’re planning for the next day and Max is being funny and sweet and agreeing with whatever plan it is which involves some big performance from Max and Daniel can’t stop laughing too hard at Max’s jokes which are like dumb and involving being mostly naked getting a massage in front of Daniel but to Daniel they’re the funniest thing in the world and Daniel is shoving more rice cakes smeared in peanut butter into his mouth because it’s the only thing he can stomach at this point in the tour so that he can have an excuse for so obviously looking away when Max gets up off the table and pulls his shorts on and then blessedly everyone else gets up to leave but Daniel doesn’t which isn’t weird bc they have been hanging out and being friends and Max sits next to Daniel on the unmade bed and asks if he wants to play FIFA and Daniel kisses him. And Max pulls away and is staring at him in like, complete shock and then smiles and Daniel kisses him again and as soon as Max moves to be closer Daniel jumps off the bed and says he has to go and tries to make some stupid joke and his voice cracks so it falls completely flat while Max just looks away and is already queuing up FIFA lol and refusing to look at Daniel and so mad but also mostly hurt and confused.
Daniel of course does not sleep a wink and doesn’t correctly do the delicate dance of the fueling and hydration that is required to recover from that day and prepare for the next and Max is polite but distant towards him on the bus which makes him feel even worse than what he was ridiculously imagining which was Max like, walking onto the bus and telling everyone Daniel kissed him and then everyone would know he is a horrible person with a gay crush on his younger teammate but of course realizing he hurt Max feels more awful than that could be. During the actual stage Max is supposed to like, lead a breakaway that goes out too fast and hopefully lure the guy who is closest to Daniel in the GC into it, and tire him out so Daniel can ultimately pass him at the end while he runs out of gas and falls back. Daniel is having a tough time, feeling awful, and Max is with the breakaway but it isn’t going that fast and everyone is like he can be going faster why isn’t he so the guy Max is supposed to be breaking is like very comfortably keeping up and there isn’t that much distance to the rest of the riders (the main pack is called the peloton) and they tell Daniel on team radio to try to catch up to the breakaway and just like, head to head race with this guy (decided it is Seb just now lol) … but as soon as he starts to try to do that, while feeling like shit (physically but ofc also mentally lol), Max like TAKES OFF. And it’s late enough in the race that it also means he could be leading Seb to finish with a really good time which would erase Daniel’s lead in the GC and that’s what happens while Daniel basically wastes too much energy trying to catch up to that now faster breakaway that he like, fully falls back and it just is bad for everyone… including Max who wins that stage (his first stage win!!) but it’s muted by how the team is sad about Daniel who loses so much time he is well out of the running for the GC. WHY AM I DOING COLOR COMMENTARY FOR A SPORTING EVENT THAT IS NOT REAL I HATE MYSELF LOL I’M SO ANNOYING.
And like, there a million reasons why that happened and it’s really moreso to do with boring things like sports nutrition and maybe other teams’ strategies too and let’s be real like, straight up good/bad luck, so it’s not at all like Max single-handedly blew Daniel’s chances at the GC and people don’t think that but of course to Max and Daniel the reason it happened is because of The Kiss. And the team just like, loves and is devoted to Daniel, and picking up on the tension between them and mistakenly thinking it’s because Daniel is mad about the stage and not like, fucked up over the The Kiss and the aftermath and his soup of internalized homophobia and also like, sad athlete general self loathing - basically start to be a little cold to Max too, which Daniel feels guilty about but he can’t clarify obviously and hates himself for being a little relieved that’s what people think is going on and not what actually happened. So … the rest of the tour is terrible for them lol and right after that Max signs with a different team.
And now I am laughing and crying hysterically because all that is .... the BACKSTORY for the actual au I am imagining which would be like, PRESENT DAY lol. Daniel has spent the past 4 years at that same team and he’s had some good results and again stage wins but nothing like the tour he was having that year but still very loved and popular and I think about this quote from Thibaut Pinot in the TDF DTS who also is so hot and has beautiful brown sad eyes: “Sometimes I feel like I’m more popular than I am talented. So, there are days when I wish I got less love and more wins,” which to me is so Daniel and his career GOD anyways. He gets injured and maybe has to take a whole year off and a lot of people are talking about how he’ll probably retire and his old beloved team has told him he will always be welcome there but it’s obvious to Daniel they have to like, move on and are cultivating new talent and new team leaders in his absence.. which he spends rehabbing and learning photography and opening Grindr and then like, closing it really quickly at last 10 times a day. AND in the background of all that Max has been steady and excelling with his new team. He won the Tour two years ago and got second last year and also came out a few years ago (ex-boyfriend still best friend Martin Garrix ALWAYS in any au I write) and just seems like well adjusted and happy and Daniel thinks back on 2018 Max and is happy for him and also like, jealous of him in a way that physically hurts but mostly just makes him feel worse about himself than resentful of Max. Daniel is trying to race again but knows he can’t go back to his old team when he doesn’t feel like the cyclist he was there, to them, so his manager is quietly putting out feelers when Max’s team (which is like … idk some VERY GOOD Red Bull Jumbo Visma hybrid .. terrifying thought lol …) reaches out to him which is a big surprise and Daniel takes the contract and rides in the Tour de France and they fall in love!
They heal the wounds of their past!! Over the very long course of the tour !! And maybe even starting in the several week long period before it where they all go live like monks at altitude in training camps. It’s about being happy without any of the things you thought you needed for happiness and all the things you never imagined you have! It’s about LOVE and bikes and the insane limits of the human mind and body! It’s about the freak horniness of someone sweating and breathing heavily after extreme exertion and the misery of trying to consume like 8 gels in 2 hours because the amount of carbohydrates and sugar and salt needed to sustain your efforts is crazy! There’s falling in love and emotional intimacy and being literally so tired and sore sex is not possible!! It’s about stale sweat in team buses and team breakfasts in hotel conference rooms and loving yourself and making peace with your past and building a future and also being in the French countryside!!!
Sorry idk what this is !!!! I do know it’s way too long …!!! But you all are mostly just lucky I did not start talking about sports nutrition and also performance psychology so consider yourselves lucky!!
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