invented words for pro cycling things that there currently aren't words for
inspired by the Danish book Madsens ÆØÅ, a similar dictionary of the nonexistent.
Marnick [n.]: A cyclist's state of feeling nostalgic for having unbroken collarbones. Some cyclists experience marnick far before their first crash by virtue of its seeming inevitability.
Squoze: [n.]: A playful thigh-squeeze that lasts just a little too long.
Snudgen [n.]: The expression Tadej Pogacar makes when he tries to wink and smile at the same time.
Greb [n.]: A measuring unit for the quality of team radio messages. 0 greb denotes a perfectly understandable broadcast. At 5 greb, closed captions are required for laypeople to understand. Some commentators are capable of deciphering snippets of up to 7 greb. The highest measured level of intelligibility occurred during the 2017 Prudential Thames–Chiltern Challenge where Lotto Sounal's team radio reached a whopping 12 greb, causing utter confusion when even a simple "Go, go, go" was indistinguishable from an order to turn right, causing a small crash into a local garden hedge.
Blenory [n.]: A disease that affects the victim's perception of time, the primary symptom being a belief that the year is somehow still 2019 and everything is possible. Julian Alaphillipe is believed to be the primary carrier, and a cure has yet to be found.
Glune [n.]: The sense of dread a commentator feels when realizing that they do not remember any historical facts about the area that a flat Tour de France stage passes through and there are still four hours at least until the sprint
Deglurne [vb.]: The act of making up historical facts about the area that a flat Tour de France stage passes through on the spot, knowing that the viewers at home are probably taking a nap anyway and wouldn't be able to tell the difference if they were awake.
Junder [n.]: The quasi-sexual sensation felt by a majority of the peloton in 2024 when exposed to the story of Jonas Abrahamsen's weight gain and subsequent increase in general well-being, his polka dot outfit and his instagram thirst-trap pictures of him shirtless by the poolside eating grapes. Many riders have not yet recovered from the experience.
