the party rock is coming from inside the house

bri, 31, bi, any pronouns, tired (sideblog: dandelion-jelly)

[eggnogged]

godzilla and rodan having gay sex

[threedollarsdotcom]

accidentally spilled everything thats ever existed on the floor

[ceruleanheaven]

once i get over it i will be over it

[nlog-sama]

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

[eggnogged]

hate that when i dare to be in a good mood at work and put in effort to help customers it just gets me old men hitting on me

[faustandfurious]

“I don’t put politics in my stories” is the literary equivalent of a cishet guy going “I don’t have pronouns”

[goslinggf]

i love you rice with some bullshit

[sandmandaddy69]

[cryptvokeeper]

[miiilowo]

You're gender identity? why? I mean, penis isn't that bad . I stink it sometimes, like in my mouth an stuff. Not gay or anything though even though my mom says so. Merry Christmas dude

I really really like this ask. I really really really like this one

[eggnogged]

watched the movie "foodfight!" tonight and there's a lot to unpack but my main takeaway is the phrase "you cold-farted itch"

[kosmogrl]

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[eggnogged]

i hate how youtube is being overtaken by people trying to sell products. i can't find my satisfying tonsil stone removal videos anymore, it's just all device recommendations. what happened to just shoving a q-tip in the back of your throat and filming it 😔

[64mpg]

let’s all have joint pain and digestive issues

[eggnogged]

only realized today how much emphasis zombie movies put on bites specifically. would a toothless zombie do nothing then???

[raeiyyn]

[yelling at the club to someone i met ten minutes ago] do you think im a burden be honest

[eggnogged]

i am still so pissed that i never considering putting little charms on a flip phone when i had one. all i did was instantly make my ringtone "smack that" and repeatedly open and close it