keep looking. there maybe a rainbow waiting for you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CeXqzxmP4zy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
YOU ARE THE REASON

Janaina Medeiros

@theartofmadeline
Today's Document
KIROKAZE
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NASA
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Sade Olutola
Claire Keane

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@eghong
keep looking. there maybe a rainbow waiting for you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CeXqzxmP4zy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
survived 1 year of parenthood (at Sailendra Restaurant) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2cAEuugxE8/?igshid=ej9b8tycdmqe
.. ush ush .. #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong #hongkongstreet #hongkongstreetlife #hongkongstreetphotography (at Hong Kong)
.. sky is the limit .. #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong #hongkongstreet #hongkongstreetart #hongkongstreetphotography (at Hong Kong)
.. just like a star across my sky .. #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong #hongkongstreetview #hongkongstreetart #hongkongstreetphotography (at Central District, Hong Kong)
.. shall we? .. #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong #hongkongstreet #hongkongstreetphotography (at Hong Kong)
.. happy in lost .. #explorehongkong #whileinhongkong #hongkongstreet #hongkongstreetphotography #hongkongstyle (at 香港仔茶餐廳 - Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong)
.. late to stop .. #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong #hongkongstreet #hongkongstreetphotography (at 香港紅磡體育館)
.. upstairs.. #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong (at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University)
reminiscing our first met #explorehongkong #wheninhongkong #hongkongtrip (at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University)
.. waiting .. (at 文華雞飯 新加坡)
.. lost in translation .. (at Kowloon - Tsim Sha Tsui, Temple Street Night Market)
.. pardon? .. (at 文華雞飯 新加坡)
#nofilter #selfie at the #nationalgallery (at National Gallery Singapore)
.spotted. (at National Gallery Singapore)
totally worth losing my voice! @foofighters #foofighterssg2017 (at National Stadium, Singapore)
happy bornday, my boys!
eng ing eeng tiba2 pagi2 jam 9 si suster nyuruh gue sarapan dan mandi. Biasanya mah gua mau mandi sore jg gpp.Yaudah lah gua mandi. Selesai mandi gua disuruh ke kamar operasi which nampak seperti ruang operasi meskipun ada TV & sofanya. Tapi di kasur gua disuruh tiduran itu ada banyak banget peralatan operasi, mulai dr gunting, clipper smp tabing oksigen. Udah berasa di Greys Anatomy dah gua. Gua tanya ke suster, knp saya di bawa ke sini sus? emang udh mau lahiran? Kata susternya masih bukaan 4 sih, tapi tergantung dokternya ya.Ngga lama dokternya dateng, ngecek vaginal lagi dan dia bilang udh berasa kepala bayi gua tp pasih blm ada space atau apa gitu tau deh ngga ngerti.Sempet berasa pengen poop, tapi ngga boleh poop sm susternya. Akhirnya pantat gua dimasukin pipet gede bgt. BLAAAHHH aneh abis rasanyaa! ternyaa bener gua pup hahahaha.
Sambil sarapan dan nonton TV, dokter dan bidan bolak balik dateng dan ngecheck pembukaan sampe pada akhirnya the last thing i know dokter bilang bakal pecahin ketuban gua secara paksa. Akhirnya dia masukin gunting dan pecahlah ketuban gue. OMAIGAAATTTT!!!!!!! ngga ada yg bisa ngalahin rasanya pecah ketuban itu kaya apaaa.. Gua mulai teriak2 kaya di TV2. Tomo bilang istighfar yaaang istigfar. Gua bahkan ngga bisa ngomong apa2 saking sakitnya cuma bisa teriak aaaaaa doang all the time. Akhirnya Tomo yg bisikin astaghfirullahaldzim ke kuping gua. Ngeliat gua kesakitan si dokter nyuruh suster masukin valium ke infus gua. Pas denger itu, saat itu keknya gua langsung diem deh. ahhahaha
Ngga lama langsung efek valium itu berasa dan akhirnya tibalah gua di proses melahirkan. Sambil ngeden gue inget Tomo bilang “ayo yang kamu bisa yang, dikit lagi yang.” atau si suster bilang: “ayo bu lagi bu ngeden lagi bu sambil tegakkin badannya bu” dsb..
Alhamdulillah setelah kurang lebih 45 menit, di jam 13.25 lahirlah 2 beautiful boys named Lakeswara Samahita Rahleandra dan Labdawara Maitreya Rahleandra satu menit setelahnya dengan berat 2.5 dan 2.1 kg. Ketika mereka lagi dilap, pengen banget rasanya tiba2 ada suara tangisan mereka yg kenceng, well i wished at least one of them did. But still, there’s none.
you two were born silent, perfect, peaceful and beautiful.
Setelah dibersihin, gue dikasih waktu untuk menggendong anak2 gua sebelum mereka dibawa pulang buat disemayamin. I held them in my arms, both of them. their body were so tiny, so i asked the doctor why they were so little? bukannya beratnya normal? Kata dokter badannya menyusut karena mereka sudah meninggal. Bisa keliatan jelas di bagian kepala, udah agak peyang. Kembali gua liatin mereka, sembari Tomo nyuruh orang2 pada keluar buat ngebiarin gue sm anak2 gua. Gua liatin anggota badan mereka satu persatu, sambil bertanya whats wrong with you guys? why do you have to leave us like this? but no, nothing’s wrong with them. they were physically perfect! Their bodies were perfect! most people said the have my nose, and mostly looks just like me.
Waktu menunjukkan udah mau maghrib, iih ngga berasaaa. tau2 anak2 mau dibawa pulaang. huuuu blm puas rasanyaaa meluk merekaaa. Tapi kasian mereka, mereka mau ngerasain tidur pertama & terakhir kalinya di kasur yg udah Ayah & Bubu beliin buat mereka. Dan gua pun ditemenin Oli yang setia nginep hahaha. owe you, pal!
Ketika kamar jadi sepi, ngga ada Tomo, baru deh mulai berasa mellow lagi. Baru berasa lagi apa yg udh kejadian. Ngobrol terus aja sm Oli dan tante gue yg nemenin di situ biar ga mewek, smp akhirnya Oli (dengan sneakynya) bilang mau ngerokok, padahal bermaksud bikin gua tidur. hahaa.
Jumat pagi, 26 Aug 2017, Tomo ngabarin betapa miripnya anak2 gua sm gua wohoo! dan mereka lg siap2 ke pemakaman setelah disholatin di masjid. Sampe di makam, kata Rama si Ayah nawarin buat videocall sm Rama. oh! why didnt i think of that?
Then, thru small thing called smartphone, i watched my children buried. I watched my husband cries while he puts our kids to their grave and during his speech. i can only watched it from afar. I really really wish i was there!!
ayang, we were about to have 2 babies, but we had 2 angels, instead! that day, we already are becoming a succeeded parents, laff. Tho we’ve been thru, still it was unforgettable moments, huh? So.. lets have another two, or three, shall we? :P
happy bornday, kids! A thousand words cant bring you guys back, i know because i’ve tried. And neither would a million tears. I know because i cried.
You two still loved, still missed, still remembered. Everyday, on our every prayer.
See you in Jannah, boys.
Bubu & Ayah