Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.
āBut we canāt build walls to contain them!ā
Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty theyāre in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies canāt move them. Plus theyāre nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.
āBut we donāt have easy ways to kill them!ā
Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.
No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.
A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.
Want to guess what itād do to a decaying human body? Itās not pretty.
Now I know what youāre thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isnāt enough.
tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?
āBut we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies canāt stop!ā
BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer donāt have a chance and neither does a zombie.
āBut thatās not good enough!ā
NOW itās time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.
Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.
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