that’s rough, buddy @msfirelord - Tumblr Blog

Hello new peeps I wish I had more to offer you aside from reblogging a bunch of shit but alas, my brain is worms

i swear to god NOTHING makes me more pissed off then when everyone is like “oouheuehghoughough ough [thing] is so good it’s a classic you’ll love it” and they say it SO OFTEN that you resolve on principle to loathe [thing] with your entire being but when you actually get around to experiencing [thing] it literally IS That Good. physically trembling with rage at the fact that hamlet actually is one of the best plays ever written. DIE

mephistopheles

me when shakespeare plays actually DO have modern-day relevance and universal themes:

mushroom--soup

unbotheredmuse

hazystars

you forgot the best part tho

(via @butchmuppet)

chilewithcarnage

no lie, the second half of this post really helped me put a different perspective on my life and greatly the decreased the anxiety i have about my life to come

rlyehtaxidermist

"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.

"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.

"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver

flork-of-cows-official

burn out

badpsychicadvice

Internet hugs for anyone else out there dealing with burn out or other mental and/or physical issues that make it hard to interact right now

depsidase

another option:

turning it into a windows 95 logo is also acceptable.

bat-snake

vladtheunfollower

Pillow Fight by Richard Scarry

kenziecore

kaijuno

kittykattaffy

Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.

kaijuno

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

jabberwockypie

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

jabberwockypie

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.

dreamquestofunknownkadath

One of my favorite genres of post

dreamquestofunknownkadath

vanilla-kitty

kvasirxvi

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen about the whole Musk Twitter Event because imagine being so bad that John Green, the man who was famously run off Tumblr by literal maniacs editing his post to a serenade to cocks in the Green Cock Incident, considers Twitter to be The Worst Site, ie worse than Tumblr. Insane

thedeafprophet

Man's been pretty funny i wont lie

fairycosmos

i wish i grew up before the internet and i wish my brain wasn’t attached to social media from childhood and i wish i didn’t know how it felt to be advertised to 24/7 and i wish the never-ending feed inside my brain would stop updating

#oof

nessa007

the barbie movie is an anomaly and i look forward to seeing all the other mattel movies being giant flops 😂

deceptive-owls

why-yes-i-am-an-adult

lestatslestits

I see Hollywood is now very into the idea of buying something once and then owning it forever and being able to make infinite copies. Which. Isn’t quite the message they imparted upon me in my childhood. In the spirit of their own long-held stance: