[3000s]

i play minecaft like keepinventory easy mode mobgriefing off firespread off and also if anything starts killing me i turn it on peaceful until im better

[3000s]

the only reason its on easy at all is because i like making and eating food

[solardrake]

i play minecraft on hardcore firespread on tickspeed 200000 and also i modded it to make all the beds explode no matter what. Every time a monster kills me my computer sends an email to my boss about how much i love using company time to kiss men and then catches on fire

[eiflingtower]

My therapist doesn’t understand my want for a werewolf boyfriend :(

[eiflingtower]

Mercury Gatorade will have a man you talked to 4725252 years ago hit you up acting like nothing happened bud I don’t even remember your name pls go 💀

[coughloop]

okay but seriously reblog and put in the tags what you choose between dipping your cigarettes in ketchup or mayo before eating them

[tomhardysurinal]

I have never wanted to open a spam email so badly

[apisashla]

ra, ra, Rasputin /

buy my secret penis cream

[kremlin]

my favorite part of flying home to texas is when the pilot yells YEEEEE HAWWWW WE’RE IN TEXAS NOW BOYS and fires his revolvers into the roof of the cockpit. 

[burdenoculeous]

I’ve been on flights to and from Texas

I can guarantee you the pilot does not do this at all

They’d be jobless if they did that

[kremlin]

no, they are legally required to do this. obviously, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

[burdenoculeous]

Let me ask you this

Have you been on a plane from Texas to somewhere?

Or on a plane at all?

There’s a certain process that happens before you get on a plane for storing your weapon if your bringing one

They hold them in a separate compartment on the plane

How would the pilot be able to fire his revolvers into the roof of the cockpit?

[kremlin]

Son, let me tell you a couple of things about planes. First of all, the planes are really big, so there are a lot of places to put your guns. The pilot gets special privileges. They are allowed to put their guns anywhere and are allowed to fire them during flight. The holes they make are easily repaired and are not a problem (don’t let air out, etc.) We do things differently around these parts, and clearly, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re out of your element.

[goblinization]

I just flew to Texas and I can confirm the pilot pulled out two single action armies and fired all 12 rounds into the ceiling of the cockpit while screaming at the top of his lungs the moment we entered Texas airspace

[depsidase]

[eiflingtower]

I wish I could show you more of yourself

I wish I could make you somebody else

But I left it way too late

Are you stuck in your own ways?

[eiflingtower]

*whispers* if u only dom skinny girls ur a fuckin weirdo

[eiflingtower]

I can see you off.

I can make you cry for me.

[eiflingtower]

Make me behave

Like an animal

I'm asking nicely

Give me what I want

[eiflingtower]

Damn Tumblr is dead dead :/

[thepumpkin-queenn]

[eiflingtower]

Idk who made this but I’m leaving it here

[eiflingtower]

I’m too hot to talk to a “where are all the real women?” Ass man 🤮

[eiflingtower]

I can’t believe I had friends that I had to hide my spiritual practices from 💀 if we ain’t dancing naked under the moon then what are we doin

[eiflingtower]

Make a move, better patent it quick

I assume you'll be comin' for blood

That makes two of us, that makes two of us

Venom