the day i was betrayed
Oh goodness, my head does feel a little woozy… it must be the punch from the party. Dear me, why was I drinking so much? Oh! It was all Hedda. Dear Hedda, how easily she caused the rift between Thea and I. What a turn of events happened today. My manuscript was coming along so well, and I knew it would capture the eyes of the world. But of course, this would not have been possible if not for Thea, my muse and inspiration, the dear woman I trusted with my darkest secrets, my trusted companion. And to think she changed me as a man! Gone were the days of my drinking, and I was ready to tame my taste for a free life for her. Every time I refused a drink from Hedda, I saw the delight on Thea’s face, and that did please me indeed! What a joy it was to see her so pleased and proud that I made the right choice.Â
But oh it was like a game of tug-of-war, and I was torn between the two women who had different visions for my life. Dear Thea, who was so thrilled when I stopped drinking, and Hedda, the free spirit I long to be. But how right Hedda was… All those years I stopped drinking… what a waste that was. Living for others! What a terrible thing to say. Me? Living for others? The nerve of her to say that! I had to prove her wrong, so glass after glass of punch I downed.
Things just seemed to get worse from there, when Hedda revealed something that changed my view entirely. How could Thea follow me here? Does she not trust me at all? To think Thea was worried about me! Where was the trust I spoke of? Mortal terror, oh this is something I never would have expected. All these years I trusted Thea with everything, yet she has no faith in me at all, some trusted companion indeed! For all I’ve done to change for her, yet she still thinks that I’ll turn back to drinking. It’s like a film has been lifted from my eyes. Now I see clear as day, despite her attempts to change my habits, despite the deep trust I placed in her, deep down, Thea Elvsted does not trust me. And to think her the co-author of my book! All this while, I suppressed my urges to drink, just to see the joy in her eyes. Well now, it seems that she never believed in me, so why should I continue? Why should I continue to control myself for a woman who has no faith in me? I’ve controlled the cravings in my heart for so long, now it’s time to live! To drink, and live my life as the free spirit Hedda so wants me to be.