Hello Tumblr, nice to meet you.

cranberry juice dripping down my spine

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gotta start says EVILBYE because im so DAMN EVIL *Sits on grass with evil intent*

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To be a child (A small essay)

When we are young, our abilities are limited, our freedoms have yet to be granted, and we are almost the property of our legal guardians until we reach the age of 18 and become adults. When we are young, we have questions about oppression, hate speech, history, and many more political topics. We are taught to ask and to learn, but when we seek to do something about what we have learned, the world gives us a locked door, one that we are expected to keep shut. When we are young, choices are made for us regardless of if your 17, 1, or any age in between. But still, we can understand that we don’t make the choices, that we aren’t in control of our own lives, but we endure it and carry on doing what children do. But what happens when a child with a mind filled with learning sees a locked door, now that they possess all the knowledge needed to see that they are not allowed a key? What will they do? Will they cry? Will they run to their parents and wail that the door won’t open, screaming how 'it's not fair'? Or will they ask themselves why they aren’t allowed to open this door on their own, why somebody who was taught to seek more is being trapped behind something that might as well be a wall, and why they can’t be free to do something with all that they have learned? And finally, they will ask themselves why it’s not fair. And then they will find a way to break the door.

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british people just be eating shit, plain shit, the plainest shit

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Me, in the bank as the person robbing it is trying to take hostages. They have already taken 3 and are trying to grab me when suddenly they hear me mutter something, thinking it's a plea for my life, they ask me to speak up. Then, with the confidence of somebody who would be in this situation, I say, "1 2 3, that's enough for me." I was then shot.

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I have been in the Life Series/Hermit Craft (mainly Grian) fandom for 5 years. Not. once have I EVEN gotten merch.

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I GOT MERCH!!! LETS GO!!!

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Court Jester exclusions are some of the funniest shit, there all like

SIR SWEARS-A-LOT BEHEADED FOR SWEARING AT THE QUEEN

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What would a clown college recruitment be like? Just like, "Hm, yes, all of the most esteemed clowns have gone to our university, like Joe Mama who was known for inventing the art of pie throwing, or Lady Long Pants, created the art of clown makeup. Sounds pretty cool right?" or just "Come to our WACKY SCHOOL!!! ITS THE COOLEST!!!!"

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on my way to watch the stream

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I know this lesbian couple, and one of them is very short and loves oversized shirts/hoodies, and the other one is taller and likes fitted things. And the tall one loves stealing the smaller one's shirts so she always makes sure to get shirts in the taller one's size so that every time she steals them from her they fit her. If this isn't pure yuri i don't know what is.

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Ok more about this couple. The short one (L) and the tall one (K) are very romantic. L is an art major so they constantly draw/paint/whatever of K, using them as a muse. And K is writer, so they constantly write poetry about L. So they constantly give each other either artwork of the other, or little papers with love poems. And I just think their love is so cute. God I love yuri

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Fae: May I have your name?

Person: Yeah sure, it's Alex

Fae confused on why they aren't able to steal this person's identity, falling to realize this human is in fact trans and haven't changed their legal name yet.

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Me: Man, I don't have any knives, how will I open this watermelon for thanksgiving?

The pill of rubber bands in front of me: Do it.

Me shaking: No, we stopped doing that in 2022.

The pill of rubber bands: You don't have any other way.

Me, crying: god FUCKING damn it

[raynilikescats]

man I love wplace

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I thought that was a flower, but nope, just pain

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Guys, hear me out on this, what if when jax holds his breath for long enough his tail disappears and if he holds his breath again it appears again?

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If my 87 year old divot christian great grandmother learned to support gay rights after her 60 year old daughter came out to her as a lesbian, then you can too

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personally, i really hate the color blue, i've never liked the color. I can't even stand to see it. But she loves blue, so if they wanted I would wear blue everyday, dye my hair blue, and keep blue paint on me at all times so long as she still loved the color blue, because it could have a chance at making them happy, and i care about that more then hating blue.

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Oh no! They ate 3 whole meals today! Not 2! Not 1! Three! The shock! The horror! They ate the recommended amount of meals without skipping any! Oh boy! It's almost like they know what their body wants/needs! But that would be crazy right? This is really a travesty! How will you survive?