Not feeling completely safe or at home anywhere is the most depressing thing ever. There is nowhere where I can just come home and let go of what’s happened during the day because I’m always being watched, and judged for every single thing I do. It’s exhausting to always have to put on a show for people around me because I can’t be myself. Hiding what I really feel is even more exhausting than my real feelings (if that even makes sense). I just want to move away from everything and everyone, and go to school, accomplish my life goals, give my parents all they deserve for raising me and putting up with me. If somebody wishes to be there with me, then be my guest. Feelings are just so exhausting, especially when I have to hide them and lying sucks. I just want to be out in the open with you, I want to be able to kiss you whenever I get the urge to do it, or hold your hand just because I want to feel your touch on my skin, I want those beautiful blue eyes to look at me like I’m the only important thing in this world. I want to settle down and just be happy cause God knows I deserve someone who fully cares about me, and invests 110% of their time on me. I want someone to really love me the way I deserve to be loved because I can definitely return the feelings. I am capable of that and nobody has really realized that because they can’t see past the fact that I do like to flirt and that I like being the center of attention or they’re just intimidated by me and won’t even approach me. If you’re smart and cunning enough to get through my rough exterior you deserve me not because you knew how to but because the only way you were able to was because you cared enough for me to trust you with all I’ve got. I really don’t trust easily, at all, and when I do trust someone and let my guard down I expect for it to be reciprocated towards me too. I want you to let your guard down completely, I want to see the real you. I want to be your person, your safe place. Where you run to when you have a bad day and just want to get your mind off things just like I’d want someone to do the same for me. I just want someone to feel the same way I do about them. In the end, I just want to feel loved and cared about.
andulkaphoto
yousharknotpass
kianamaiart
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
origamiaround
