Growing Emotions
He appeared before me in the form of a human. Pale skin like a ghost, black curly hair, eyes of shimmering gold that seared me with both hostility and warning.
“I am here to talk.” I said at once, hoping that he would here my subtle cordiality.
“Then speak.” he said bluntly
I sighed and began, “I think that this fighting between us is useless.”
“It seems not to be as useless as you state, we are dying.” Lucifer said, his voice was numb. “Isn’t that your goal?” he added harshly.
The air around us hummed with tension and he didn’t seem to want to converse with me at all, not that I blamed him, but I had invited him for a reason.
“Your numbers are still considerable and the demons are not dying as quickly as most of us would like. I am not willing to wait however many thousands of years it took to reduce your species to what they are now.” I said and Lucifer let out a small laugh.
With a grin still on his face he replied, “You are impatient.” he laughed again but louder.
“Excuse me?” I said becoming annoyed.
“You came to speak with me because you are impatient for my species to die.” his voice took on a venomous tone.
“I am sick of the killing Lucifer. Not just on my side, on all sides.” I said.
“I thought that was what you were created for.” he said with a dangerous grin.
“If you believe that, then you have been twisted farther than I thought.” I said.
There was a pause while we eyed each other.
“Then why are you here, get to the point.” he said.
“I am here to stop this war.” I said.
“Why should it stop? This war has been going on long before you and your kind came here. You should not even be involved, Elemental.”
“That is your biased opinion, Demon. You are the one who caused it, you brought this on yourself and you will die unless you do something to bring it to an end.” I stated.
“What do you suppose I do then?’ he said sarcastically.
“Give yourself up and return to the source. Without you, the resistance will fall.” I said.
“They will kill me no matter what. Besides, you make it sound so easy.” he said looking away exasperated.
“It could be if you do it.” I said stepping forward. I stopped as I caught myself.
Lucifer didn’t reply. He just started out the window which was bathed in blue moonlight, dyeing his face the same color. The room that we stood in was dark but I could see his figure almost glowing along with the moon. He was beautiful and I knew that he was my enemy but at the same time I somehow didn’t want him to be. I wanted to know him and I realized that what I has just told him to do would inevitably kill him in the end. My feelings for the demon were small, very small. Even so, I felt them growing inside me like a virus. Feeling anything for the creature before me would undeniably get me killed my enemies or my allies, if I could even call them that.
“But I am finally alone now.” Whispered Lucifer, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“What?” I replied, not sure if he had been speaking before I had noticed him doing so.
“All my life, at least my limited life with the source, I had longed to be a separate entity. When I had the opportunity to become only myself I took it without a moments hesitation. When I had flourished and wallowed in life itself I came to realize why living on my own was so invigorating and addicting. It was the chase and the rush of emotions that came with it.
During my time among the humans of Earth, whether it was as a hunter or not, I noticed that they were always alone and they were always seeking to share their lives with some other soul. They saw themselves as incomplete and it annoyed me more then I could admit.
I couldn’t understand what gave them the will to do some of the things they did. They would sacrifice their lives, fight me with a strength that rivaled my own, throw themselves before me and beg that I would not kill their loved ones.
Now I realize that I was only jealous of them. I am willing to fight for my life, love and happiness with everything that I have. Wouldn’t you do the same yourself?” said Lucifer with something new in his eyes.
“Those are things that I do not know nor understand.” I replied. His expression changed to confusion.
“Then why do you fight for anything? What is your reason for living?” there was a short pause and when I didn‘t say anything he went on, “What I thought was true, you are just a killing machine. You will never understand why the other demons and I fight to become individuals.” he said. The finality in his voice stung like a physical blow He turned to leave and opened the closed wooden door.
My chest felt like a thousand pounds and my throat tightened considerably until I could hardly breath. I knew that I had to stop the killing of life, even if that meant I had to kill too. But I didn’t know why I had to do anything, I had never thought about it. I had never thought about anything beyond my duty until now. The other Elementals were just as ruthless as I was, we were the same mindless killers that the demons were but we saw ourselves as different, better. Were we really?
“Wait Lucifer.” I said after a moment. He paused before walking completely out of the room and waited.
“What do you want?” he asked tiredly.
“Can you teach me?” I didn’t know how to convey into words what I meant to say so I struggled. He turned to face me again.
“Teach you what?” he said eyeing me curiously. It was too hard to say, I knew it wasn’t right, for me at least.
“How to feel.” I said avoiding his eyes. I looked at the darkness to my right, unable to see anything but a grey wall that had no features at all.
“You cannot be serious.” he said disapprovingly.
I didn’t say anything nor did I look at him. When he had said that he was alone, I had recognized something inside myself that had reached out for him. I couldn’t control what I said or how I felt, if I felt anything.
Lucifer sighed and continued, “You can feel, Venus, I know that you can and I shouldn’t have said what I did. If you could not you would not be here talking to me. Besides, I am not a master of emotions myself, I am hardly one to help you.” He turned to leave again. The pity that I read on his face stuck me in the stomach.
“No wait!” I said startling myself and Lucifer at the same time. He stopped again but did not turn around which I was thankful for, “I don’t know why or even how it happens but when I am around you I feel things inside me that I cannot understand.” I was breathing harder and I couldn’t slow myself. There was a moment of silence and for a second I thought that he had left anyway.
“Elementals do not grow like all other species do, am I correct? You are born just as you are now, in the form of a fully mature human.” he said from the darkness.
I nodded silently, wondering what his point was.
“How long have you been here, Elemental?” he asked.
I thought back.
“Only four winters.” I said and he laughed again.
“Impatient indeed. You are but a child to this world.” He said as he turned and walked towards me.
“I guess that is something I need to work on.” I said absentmindedly. His lips shifted to a curved smile but his golden eyes seemed dangerous, his dark curls reflected the moonlight and his hand drifted towards mine and grasped my wrist gently.
“If I show you where I live will you come alone, or will you bring your friends?” he asked softly as he drew his face closer to mine slowly.
“I will have to think about it.” I replied just as soft, afraid that someone would hear.
“Do you want me to teach you or not” he asked as his other hand wrapped around my lower back. I took in a startled breath and the hair on my neck rose. My face felt warmer than I could remember, I couldn’t move my hands and my skin buzzed with heated static. He was closer than he had ever been before, even when we had been fighting he had never been close enough for me to touch him.
“How can I trust you?” I asked back steadying my voice and moving my free hand to hold the arm that held me in an folly attempt to stop whatever he was doing.
“If I wanted to hurt you I would have already done so.” he said softer.
He was right, the hands that had killed so many held me gently. If he wanted to he could hurt me but he didn’t. The danger I was in was incredibly high but I did not feel the need to release myself from his grasp nor did I want to, I admitted to myself.
“I don’t understand.” I said.
He came even closer and then whispered in my ear, “My home. Yes or no?” he said.
“Yes.” I said back completely stunned.
Then Lucifer backed away and his eyes began to glow. He let go of my wrist and his hand rose to my brow and grasped my temples firmly.
“This will only take a moment.” his voice had become numb again. My heart started to race in panic and before I could protest everything went completely back.
Then immediately my sight returned and I saw the castle on the island in which I had been living in. The vision spun to the East and flew over the sea and even more mountains. I traveled over huge green forests and then stopped in a foreign kingdom. They danced in the forests and prayed with their large fires to gods that didn‘t return their praises. The lands were ruled by a civilization of war-like people who dwelled deep in the mountains. There was a large black castle that resided high on a cliff that broke off at the ocean. But just as I got closer to the monstrous castle the vision dissolved violently and I was tossed onto the cold floor of the abandoned house.
I looked around for Lucifer and found him pinned against the grey wall with Aiden’s hand wrapped around his neck. Aiden’s expression was furious and as he pulled out one of his swords from his back I saw Lucifer’s finger nails turn into his deadly sharp, black claws. They pierced through the skin on Aiden’s arm as they held it and dark red blood flowed from the wounds instantly. I stared in horror as I realized that if I didn’t do something, one of them would die. There was a poison in Lucifer’s claws. I didn’t trust him not to defend himself against Aiden and I knew that Aiden was going to try to kill him.
“Aiden!” I yelled. But he didn‘t acknowledge me at all. I rose from the ground silently and looked around for something, anything that would help the situation but there was nothing in the room. Aiden had never fought Lucifer before so I didn’t think that he knew about the poison. I had to do something.
Before I could think about what I was going to do I did it. I ran towards the two fighters and caught Lucifer’s eye before I slammed into Aiden with everything I had. We crashed into the wall and broke though it with a surging force. Then we fell two stories onto the dirt ground below and tumbled down a steep hill that led to a rushing river, we stopped just as we hit the water’s edge and a shower of dirt and leaves rained down on us as we laid on ground tangled in each others limbs.
“What the hell are you doing?” said Aiden as he rose from the ground to look at me with anger in his eyes. He was holding his bleeding arm and I knew that if it was a normal wound it wouldn’t faze him at all. I stood up as well and although he was much taller than I was I stared back at him with as much anger as I could muster.
“How could you be so stupid Aiden? Taking on Lucifer like that, you should have killed him at once, not let him touch you with his claws! Let me see your arm.” I almost yelled as I reached for his forearm. Aiden stepped back and I looked at him with confusion.
“I don’t want you to touch it.” he said frowning.
“Why?” I said growing impatient.
“It might hurt you. I feel it burning.” he replied.
I sighed and went for his arm again which I caught before he could move away. His flesh was burning up and I didn’t think that he would be able to heal on his own when I saw what kind of shape the skin around the open wounds looked like. There were ten holes where the Demon’s claws had punctured the skin and each of them were dripping blood and a black oily substance.
“Can you feel this?” I asked Aiden as I took my pointer finger and pressed lightly close to one of the holes.
“No I can’t.” He said.
“Alright. Well I am going to suck it out.” I said as I positioned my hands on his arm securely.
“Wait, Venus. No you are not.” he said firmly while trying to push me away with his free hand.
“Yes I am.” I said and then I put my mouth on the first gash and began drawing out the poison. At first I tasted the iron rich blood and then the extremely sweet and tangy flavor of the poison. It was so unexpected that I almost swallowed it like it was the succulent juice from a piece of fruit, that of an orange, but then I broke away and spit it out onto the ground. The grass that the poison touched immediately withered and died.
“Aiden, help me get the poison out of your arm. It doesn’t taste bad just do not swallow it.” I told him quickly afraid of what would happen if the poison got too far inside his body.