Ten Best
1) Roof of Mad Mex from the Balcony of Ugly Tuna There I was feeling a bit out of sort and in the company of my jeager-bombing friend and knowing I wouldn’t be judged, because what kind of scofflaw like that had the right, I made my self feel better off the balcony of Ugly Tuna, on the roof of the entrance to Mad Mex. And I also remember it was cold because I checked the sleeve of my coat for any indication.
2) In an Alley after a Good Night I was in an alley after a goodnight, though my girl had presumably left me (lol polyamory; you all count the same *jerk off motion*) and I threw up cursing her name. Later I slipped on some ice on the walk home and laid on my back on the sidewalk and smiled.
3) On Myself After Buying a Friend Lofted bed in a dorm room after a night of drinking malt liquor with a new pal thinking “is this a low point?” but then going back to sleep. Waking up and spraying it down with my roommate’s cologne, concocting a story about how I tried his scent because I had a date and thought it smelled good, knowing my fool bro friend here would accept that kind of excuse. I mean, you would, to this day, wouldn’t you?
4) Glorious Return to Stomping Grounds First night back in Columbus and my sister and mother were staying where I was and I spend the night out drinking and end up going to the hookah bar, finding my way out back and making life a little better there and returning home with no key and knocking for ten minutes until they open it up for me. I spend the night on the floor. I mean the floor the bathroom, of course. I put the bottle of tequila from my book bag in the freezer where in went unfinished for four years. That has to win me some kind of chip.
5) Surprise Threw down a shot of vodka while all alone and it came right back up like a rejected organ and it’s clean-- pure baby, purr, baby. And I get a towel and someone comes back into the room and I’m like, “oh, I spilled some.” Nobody knows, because I’m so quick on my feet .Watch this jig.
6) First Night First part as a Freshman at ASU. Got drunk, did it in the yard, laid against a wall waiting to be taken home and my soon to be good friends (I still talk to most!) thinking “what’s this guy’s problem?” I know this because they said as much.
7) Spiritual Twin My best pal and I were drinking margaritas and she had to leave to go to her boyfriend’s class were he was showing a movie to his students and I had to go home and work on a final and she made life better while presumably mortifying her old-ass boyfriend and I couldn’t do my final and probably for the best. I was trying to impress my hot teacher then, I recall.
8) A Long Summer A dry summer. Busting my ass at the box factory. Friend comes home and we go and watch a play and go out with the cast and I forget that the body moves faster than the mind and I end up grabbing some angels to pull me to heaven on his lawn and later in his parents’ house’s bathroom. But his mom, her own special kind of angel, watching us put water dynamite in a can with that “I don’t know about that” look and when the can pops up ten feet and hits the ceiling of her porch, laughing. She’d deny me? No, I don’t think so.
7) Dust Yourself Off It was New Orleans, oh, because it had to be and my two friends and I get some daiquiris and maybe I helped someone finish one off. And we take turns and sleep on a bed and we wake up, it’s now night, and it’s time to hit the bar. Our other friend afraid we’d passed out for good. No, not that young, no.
8) Keep the Change Hanging out after not eating much and working out. Do some shots. I see the bleakness ahead and lay some cash on the table and punch out. Sure enough on the way back, almost home, it arrives on the lawn of my apartment complex.
I think I’m out of steam. No, I don’t so. That’s wrong thinking.
9) The Anchor Working mornings at a bagel shop and coming in real bad. Soldiering on. When more people show up, going to the bathroom to give the bad back up and saying I gotta go home, my man, so much food sickness. And I was the ethical champion there. Flash forward a few years and it happens again, but for bank. And you wonder if it seeps through the pores. But my boss would later go on and recommend me for a promotion in another city where my failure would mean professional embarrassment for him. So what’s wrong with blowing off a little steam? See it’s an anchor because it holds down two separate ends of a job boat.
10) Nah Tomorrow is another night. Never finish your lists, bros.